The highest estimation of your personality is the one given to you
by the surrounding people.
She spoke a lot about the people whom we call "entrepreneurs". She
spoke about their influence upon the spirituality of our society.
Then picked up a twig and drew a circle on the ground. Inside the
circle she drew a lot of smaller ones putting dots inside them. Then
she depicted other circles around the first one. It was a kind of a
planetary map inside the terrestrial world.
She added a lot of
different things to it and said:
“The big circle is the Earth, the planet of the people. Small
circles are small people collectives which are somehow
interconnected. The dots represent the people who are at the head of
these collectives. The way these leaders treat the people, what they
make them do, what kind of psychological climate they create using
their influence, — all these things, will determine whether it is
good or bad for the surrounding people. If the great majority of
people feel good then everyone produces light illumination and when
they are all taken together as a whole, produce a nice light
illumination. If it is bad, — it gets dark”.
She shaded some circles, making them look dark, then proceeded:
“Sure, there are many other factors which also influence people's
inner state but during that very space of time when they belong to
that community the main factor is their relationship with the one
who is at the head of them. It is very important for the Universe
that only light radiation could come from the Earth as a whole; the
radiation of love and goodness. The Bible reads: 'God is
I am sorry, very sorry for the people whom you call 'entrepreneurs'
as they are the most miserable ones. I wish I could help them a lot,
but it is hard for me to do it on my own”.
“You are wrong, Anastasia. In our society the pensioners are
considered to be the most miserable ones. The people who are unable
to find a job, provide themselves with proper dwelling, food and
clothes, to pay their living are the most miserable. An entrepreneur
is a man who has all these things to a greater degree than the rest
of the people. He can afford some pleasures which many people can't
even dream about”.
“Like what? Give me an example, please, will you?”
“Well, if you take just an average entrepreneur, he has a modern
car, a nice apartment or a house and as far as food and clothes are
concerned, there is no problem at all...”.
“And what about joy? What does he find satisfaction in? Look! I'll
show it to you”.
Anastasia carried me along again to the grass and, the way she did
before when she was showing me a woman dachnitsa, she started to
show me different pictures.
“Here, do you see it? Here, he is sitting in the car which you call
a luxurious one. Do you see him? He is alone on the back seat. A
micro climate is being contained inside the car. A driver is behind
the wheel. He is driving very smoothly. Look at the boss. Do you see
how strained and thoughtful his face is? He is thinking hard,
creating some kind of projects. He is afraid of something. Just
watch. Now he has gripped a thing which you call a 'telephone'. He
is troubled... Well, he has got some information... Now he has to
evaluate it very quickly and make a decision. He is all strained...
He is thinking. He is ready. The decision has been made. Now watch,
watch: he looks quiet but on his face one can read doubt and
anxiety. There is no joy at all”.
“Well, this is work, Anastasia”.
“This is a way of life and there is no break in it from the moment
of his awakening in the morning till he falls asleep. Even during
his sleep he is not free. He can see neither the newly arrived
leaves in the trees nor the joyous spring brooks... He is surrounded
only by ever envious people who are eager to take possession of
everything he has. Trying to protect himself from them with, as you
call it "security". To turn a house into a castle does not really
bring complete peace as the fear and worries never leave him and so
on and so forth till he comes at last to the very end of his life.
The feeling of regret embraces him because he has to leave
“An entrepreneur has his joys. They come to him when he achieves a
desirable result, accomplishes his project. It is the joy of
“It is not true. He has no time to enjoy anything he achieves
because a new and even more complicated project is coming to replace
the previous one and everything begins all over again though with
The forest beauty was depicting for me a very gloomy and sad picture
of a rather successful, if to look at it externally, layer of our
society and I did not feel like accepting it as a true one.
I made a
remark as a disproving argument:
“Anastasia, you forget to mention their ability to achieve the
desired goal and get the good things of life. For instance, he gets
the admiring looks of women, who adore this kind of man and respect
on the part of the surrounding people”.
Her response was:
“Illusion! Maya! None of these exist. Tell me, where did you see a
respectful or an admiring look of a person who is gazing at the
passenger of a splendid car or an owner of a most expensive house?
There is no man who would agree with you. Those are the gazes which
are full of envy, carelessness and irritation. Even women are not
able to love these people because their feeling gets mixed up with
the desire to take possession of not only that very man himself but
everything he has. In their turn these men are not able to love a
woman properly as they can't afford to leave enough space for such a
There was no sense in arguing, trying to find more proofs, as
everything she had said could be proved or rejected only by those
about whom she was speaking.
Being an entrepreneur myself, I had
never had an opportunity to stop and think over the subject
Anastasia had touched. I had never analyzed the duration of my joy
and moreover I could not do it concerning somebody else. Somehow we
are not used to complaining and sniveling in our midst. Each of us
is trying to portray himself as a successful businessman who is
quite content with his life. Evidently therefore the image of a man
who is getting only good things from life has been adopted by the
great majority of people.
Anastasia could sense not only the outer manifestation of feelings
but even more delicate ones which are hidden deep down inside us.
She was determining a person's state by the quantity of light
radiating from him. To my mind the pictures and situations which she
had seen, I was able to see through her voice. I told Anastasia
“I'll help you, just a minute. It's so simple. You just close your
eyes. Lie down on the grass. Put your arms aside and you must relax.
Mentally visualize the Earth as a whole, try to see its color and
blueish luminescence which is coming from the planet. Then start to
make the beam of your imagination narrow.
Only now don't embrace the
Earth as a whole any more but make it more and more narrow till you
see specific details. Look for the people over there where the
bluish light is more intensive. The people are there. You try to
make your beam even more narrow and then you will see one or a
couple of persons. Let's try again with my help”.
She took my hand placing her fingers against mine and touching my
palm with hers. Her other hand was lying in the grass with the palm
facing upwards. I did everything she told me to do. Using my
imagination I was trying to visualize. Soon I saw a vague picture of
three men sitting at a table talking excitedly.
understand the words, actually I did not hear the words.
“No”, said Anastasia, “these are not entrepreneurs. Just a minute,
we shall find them”.
She was moving her beam getting into large and small office rooms,
closed private clubs, parties and bordellos. Sometimes the bluish
luminescence was very weak or couldn't be seen at all.
“Look! It is night time over there and he is still sitting all by
himself in his office room full of tobacco smoke. That one ,look, he
is so pleased with himself, in the pool enjoying the company of
young girls. He is intoxicated with alcohol but there is no
illumination around him. He is just trying to forget his troubles
though his self-satisfaction is artificial...
This one is at home right now. Here is his wife, his child is asking
him about something, telephone... Here he is! He is serious again
even his loved ones are being moved away to the background...”
Again one by one, all kinds of situations in a row were picked up.
Some of them looked good at first glance but not really nice till at
last we came across that horrifying scene. All of a sudden a room
appeared before my vision. Evidently it was an apartment which was a
rather respectable one, but... The next moment I saw a naked man was
lying on a round table, his arms and legs were fastened to the table
legs. His head was hanging off the table.
His mouth was covered up
with a brown plastic strip. Two young men were sitting at the table.
One of them was solidly built with a short haircut, another one,
less well built had smoothed down hair.
A young woman was sitting in an armchair away from the table under a
standard lampshade. Her mouth was glued up too. Under her breast
there was a flex linen rope fastening her to the armchair. Her feet
were fastened to the armchair's legs. She was wearing only torn
underwear. An elderly, slim man was sitting near her drinking
something, evidently it was cognac. On a small table in front of him
there was a box of chocolates.
Those who were sitting at the big round table, were not drinking.
They were pouring on their victim's chest some kind of alcohol or
vodka and then they were setting it on fire.
“It is a kind of
"gaining an understanding'“, I told to myself.
Anastasia moved her beam away from that scene, but I exclaimed,
“Come back! Do something!”
She brought the scene back again and
“There is no way to do anything. Everything has already
happened. It is impossible to stop it. It was necessary to do
something before. Now it is late”.
I was looking at it as if being hypnotized and suddenly I saw the
woman's eyes very close and so clearly. They were filled with horror
and did not appeal for mercy.
“Then, at least, do something if you are not heartless!” I screamed
at the top of my voice at Anastasia.
“Sorry, it is beyond my power. It has been programmed by somebody
before, not by me. I can't interfere directly just like that. They
are more powerful right now”.
“Where has your kindness gone? Where are your great aptitudes?”
Anastasia was silent for a while. The terrible scene faded a little.
Then the elderly man who was drinking cognac disappeared. All of a
sudden I felt weakness spreading all over my body and my hand, which
Anastasia was touching, started to grow numb. I heard her weakened
She could hardly utter the words trying to speak,
your hand, Vladim...” she could not even finish my name.
I pulled my
hand away from Anastasia and got up. My hand was hanging as if it
was numb. The way it happens when one "makes it numb by sitting"
ones arm or leg turned absolutely white, all over. I tried to move
my fingers, the numbness started to leave me.
I looked at Anastasia and was horrified by her appearance: her eyes
were closed, her face was pale. It looked as if there was no blood
left under her skin as her hands and face turned dead pale. She was
lying as if she were breathless. The grass around her for
approximately three meters in radius turned white and faded.
I realized that something terrible had happened and screamed being
scared to death:
“Anastasia!”, I gripped her by the shoulders and shook her already
non resilient, but somehow softened body.
Her absolutely white,
bloodless lips were motionless.
“Do you hear me, Anastasia?”
Her eye lashes moved a little bit and her dimmed eyes were looking
at me expressing nothing. I gripped my flask, lifted her head and
tried to give her some water but she could not swallow it. I was
looking at her thinking feverishly what to do.
At last her lips
moved slightly and she whispered,
“Take me to another place... under
I picked up her limp body, carried it away from the circle with
white grass and put her under the nearest cedar tree.
After a while,
very slowly she started to come to her senses and I asked her,
happened to you, Anastasia?”
“I tried to fulfill your request”, she answered in a low voice and
added after a pause, “I guess, I've manage to do it”.
“But you don't look well”.
“Because I have violated the natural laws. I've interfered into
something that I must not get into. It has drained all my power and
energy. I hope that something is still left”.
“Why did you run the risk if it was so dangerous?”
“I did not have a choice. You wanted me to do something, didn't you?
I was afraid not to carry out your request. As I was afraid that you
would not respect me any more if I wouldn't do something and you
would decide that I was just a chatter box who is talking too much
about everything but in reality could do nothings."
Her eyes were
looking at me with a pleading look, her low voice was trembling a
“I just can't explain to you how things get done, how this
natural mechanism works. I can feel it but I can't explain it
properly, the way you would be able to understand, evidently, your
scientists will fail to do so also”.
She lowered her head being quiet for a while as if she was summoning
up her strength.
She looked at me again with her pleading eyes and
“Now, even more than before you are going to think of me
as a crazy one or a witch, aren't you?”
All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with a desire to do something
good for her, but what? I wanted to say that I was thinking about
her as a normal, ordinary human being, a beauty, a smart woman but I
did not feel exactly that way. I did not feel a regular attitude
towards her. I knew that she would sense my lie and would not trust
my words because of that incredible and powerful intuition others.
Then I recollected the story she had told me about her childhood,
the way her great granddad used to greet her when visiting her. He
was kneeling before her on one knee kissing her hand.
So I kneeled
to Anastasia on one knee, took her still pale and cold hand, kissed
it and said,
“If you are not normal then you are the best, the
kindest, the cleverest and the most beautiful of all non normal
Thank God! At last Anastasia's lips were touched by a smile. Her
eyes were looking at me with appreciation.
Her cheeks were turning
“Anastasia, you know, the picture looked rather gloomy. Were you
choosing them on purpose or at random?”
“I was looking for something good but I failed to find it. They are
all in the clutch of their troubles. They are face to face with
their problems. They almost don't have a spiritual relationships
“So what is it necessary to do? What can you suggest besides feeling
pity for them? I would like to note-that they are strong people, I
mean the entrepreneurs”
“No doubt, they are very strong”, she agreed, “and they are very
interesting. They are living two life times within one period. One
is known only to them and nobody else, even their intimate ones.
Another is an outside one for the surrounding people, a social mask.
I guess it is possible to help them by strengthening their spiritual
and sincere relationships with each other. An open minded striving
towards the purity of thoughts is required”.
“Anastasia, I believe I'll try my best to write a book and to
organize an association of entrepreneurs with pure intentions but
only the way I understand it”.
“It will be difficult for you. I'll not be able to help as much as I
would like to as I've got only a small amount of strength left
inside me. It will take time to rehabilitate my power. For a while
I'll not be able to see with my small beam at a distance. Right now
I can't even see you properly with my regular vision”.
“Are you getting blind, Anastasia?”
“I think everything is going to return to normal. I am just sorry
that for a while I'll not be able to help you”.
“You don't need to help me. You had better try to save yourself for
our son and to help others”.
I had to leave to catch my steamboat. I waited till she would look
better at least in her outward appearance. When she looked almost
the way she did
before, I got into my motorboat. Anastasia took hold of the handles
at the front of the motorboat, pushed it off from the shore and it
was picked up by the river flow. Anastasia was standing in the water
which was almost reaching her knees.
The hem of her long skirt was
wet and swaying on the waves. I pulled the ignition rod. The motor
produced a roaring sound tearing apart the silence which had become
quite common for me during those three days of staying there and the
motorboat rushed forward abruptly accelerating speed.
Suddenly Anastasia came out of the water and ran along the bank
trying to catch the motorboat. Her hair flying in the wind looked
like the tail of a comet. She was trying to run as fast as she
Evidently she was using all her strength trying to do
something impossible, to catch a speeding motorboat. Still the
distance between us was increasing slowly. I was sorry for her
useless efforts and wishing to cut short the painful farewell
moments so I pressed down the accelerator lever with all my might.
thought crossed my mind:
“Maybe Anastasia may think that I was
scared again and now I am trying to escape from her”.
Roaring at an extreme volume the motor made the front of the
motorboat move upward with a jerk moving forward making the distance
between us increase even more... and she... Oh, my God! What was she
doing?! —Anastasia dashed off her wet skirt which was preventing her
from running, cast aside her torn clothes.
The swiftness of her
running increased and something unbelievable happened. The distance
between her and the motorboat started slowly to reduce. I could see
that a little bit ahead of her there was an almost vertical slope.
I was still pressing the accelerator lever though it did not give
way any more. I thought that it would help to stop her and bring
that painful scene to an end.
“She could not lose her vision to a
such an extent that she was not able to see that slope”, I was
thinking to myself.
Anastasia did not slow down at all, having run
up on to the top of the slope she fell down on her knees. She raised
her arms up towards the sky with a slight bend in my direction and
I could hear her voice through the wild roaring of the
motor and the noise of the splashing water, it was like a
“Sh-a-a-l-l-o-o-w wa-ter is a-h-e-a-d, sh-a-a-l-l-ow w-a-t-er,
On turning my head very fast, without even realizing completely what
I turned the wheel so abruptly that the motorboat
rushed aside and was about to scoop up water over the tilted side. A
huge sunken log one end of which was resting onto a sand bank and
another one, which was hardly seen sticking out of the water,
slightly struck my motor-boat's side. If it had been a direct blow
it could easily have broken its thin aluminum bottom.
When I had
reached the river fairway I turned back towards the slope and
whispered addressing my thanks to the lonely figure standing on her
knees who was becoming a diminishing spot.
“Thank you, Anastasia!”
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