WHO LIGHTS ANEW STAR
The second night, being afraid that Anastasia would again put into
my “bedroom” her favorite she-bear to keep me warm or some other
foolish things and I refused categorically to go to bed. I told her
that I would not do it if she did not lie down by my side.
figured it out that if she was close to me, she would not play any
“That's what you call having a guest staying at your home? I was
sure that here there would be at least some construction. You don't
even let me make a campfire and on top of this you are slipping in
all kinds of beasts in on me! If you don't have a decent house you
should not invite guests to stay there”.
“All right, Vladimir, don't worry, please and don't get scared.
Nothing bad will happen to you. If you wish, I shall lie down near
you and keep you warm”.
This time there were even more cedar twigs scattered in the den
dugout; the bunches of herbs were put very neatly.
The walls were
also decorated with twigs. I took off my clothes, put my pants and
sweater under my head, lay down and covered myself with my jacket.
The cedar twigs were producing the phytoncideous aroma about which
popular science literature tells us how whereby it disinfects the
surrounding air. Although in the taiga the air is clean, anyhow.
could breathe with ease. The dry herbs and flowers added some kind
of extraordinarily delicate flavor.
Anastasia kept her promise and lay down with me. Honestly, I could
tell that the aroma which her body was producing exceeded all other
scents. It was much more pleasant than the most delicate perfume
which I had ever smelled while being close to a woman. However, it
never came to my mind to take possession of her.
After my attempt to
hug her when we were on our way to her place of dwelling, after that
fear which I had experienced and the losing of my consciousness, I
did not imagine any kind of sexual or romantic feelings towards her.
That was true even when I saw her absolutely naked.
I was dreaming quietly about a son whom my wife had never given
“It would be great if my son could be born from Anastasia!
She is such a beauty. She is healthy and is capable of great
endurance. That means that the baby would also be healthy and in my
likeness. Of course, my son may look like her though he still should
be much more like me. He would become a strong and smart
personality. He would be happy, talented and intelligent”
my baby son clinging to the nipples of her breast and involuntarily
I put my hand on Anastasia's resilient breast. At that very moment a
quiver ran all over my body and in a moment it was gone.
was not a fearful shivering, it was a different, extraordinary and
pleasant one. I did not draw my hand back but only held my breath
waiting for what would follow. The next moment I felt her soft palm
on my hand. She did not push my hand away. I raised myself a bit and
started looking at her gorgeous face. The white northern night was
making it even more beautiful and attractive. I could not move my
eyes away from her face.
Her caressing gray bluish eyes were looking at me.
I just could not
help bending and touching slightly, quickly and carefully with my
lips her half opened mouth. Again the same pleasant quiver occurred!
My face was getting shrouded in the aroma of her breath. Her lips
did not utter her regular:
“Don't do it, calm down”.
There were no
fearful feelings. The thoughts about my son did not leave me. When
Anastasia embraced me gently, caressed my hair and moved herself
towards me, I felt something unbelievable!...
Only in the morning on awakening did I realize that never in my life
had I experienced these kinds of feelings - absolute bliss,
exaltation and satisfaction. Then there was another thing which
seemed very strange: usually a physical tiredness comes after a
night with a woman. In this case everything was quite the opposite
and, moreover, there was a feeling of a great accomplishment. There
was a feeling that something great had been created.
satisfaction was not just a physical one. There was something more
to it, something still unrealized, unknown, never experienced
before, extraordinarily wonderful and joyous!
An idea flashed across my mind:
“Just because of a moment like this
one life is worth living”.
I knew, I had never experienced anything
like that, even close to it! However, I had met different women in
my life who were beautiful, some of whom were rather experienced in
love affairs and I had loved them.
Anastasia was a virgin, a timid and tender girl.
Still there was
something in her that none, among those I knew, had possessed.
“What? Where is she now?”, I wondered.
I moved towards the trap door
of the cozy den and sticking myself out. I looked around. The
clearing was situated a little bit below my wonderful night dwelling
place. It was covered with a layer of the morning fog. It was about
two feet thick.
In that fog having stretched her arms with her palms
opened, Anastasia was spinning around. She was creating a small
cloud of fog around herself.
When it was wrapping all over her,
Anastasia jumped up easily, stretching her legs into splits like a
ballerina. She flew over the fog layer, landed in a new spot and
started spinning again and while doing it she was laughing, rolling
herself into another piece of cloud. The rising sun rays were making
then-way trying to penetrate through the fog and comfort her.
you, it was something!
It was charming and exciting and I yelled at
the top of my voice being overwhelmed with emotions:
“A-a-n-a-a-st-a-a-s-i-i-ya-a! Good morning, to the fairy of the
“Good morning, Vladimir!”, She shouted back gaily.
“It is so nice,
so beautiful now! Why do I feel like this?”, I was shouting at the
top of my voice putting in it all my power.
Anastasia raised her arms greeting the rising sun, laughed with her
happy, alluring laughter and shouted back to me and to somebody else
above in a singing voice.
“Only for a man the only one out of all living beings in the entire
Universe it has been given to experience something like this! Only
for a man and a woman, who had wished sincerely to have a baby
together! Only a man who is experiencing this kind of feeling can
light a new star in the sky! Only-y f-o-or a m-a -a-n striving
towards creation! Thank you-u-u!”
Then she turned to me and added
addressing only me:
“Only for a man, who is striving for a creation
and not for satisfaction of his flesh needs”.
She had an outburst of laughter again with her catchy laughter,
jumping up, stretching herself into the splits, she started to hover
over the fog. Then she ran up to me and took a seat next to me at
the entrance of the den.
She started to comb her golden hair with her
“So, you don't believe that sex is a kind of sin?”, I asked her.
Anastasia was quiet for a while then looked at me with surprise and
“Do you think that it was the kind of sex they mean when
using precisely this word in your world? If not, then what is more
sinful: to give in and let a man come into this world or abstain
from it and don't let a man be born into the material world? A real
Well, well, I went deep into thinking. Really, that night's intimacy
with Anastasia was impossible to classify by a habitual word “sex”.
What was it then? What is the proper word to use?
I asked her again,
“Why has nothing of the kind ever happened to me before and, I
guess, to many other people?”
“Well, you see, Vladimir, the dark forces are trying hard to develop
in man vile, mean motives and lust of flesh just to prevent him from
experiencing the divine grace, the gift of God. They are trying hard
using all possible ways to make him/her believe, by suggesting the
idea of effortlessly getting satisfaction, just thinking of
satisfaction. By doing it they are leading a man away from the
The poor, deceived women, who not even realizing it, for all
their lives are getting only suffering, trying to find their lost
grace and bliss. They are looking for it in the wrong direction. No
woman will be able to keep a man from lechery if she gave herself up
to him only to satisfy his carnal desires. If something like this
happened, their joint life will never be a happy one. Their union, a
poor illusion of togetherness, is a lie. It is a falsehood though
widely recognized by conventional society.
As for the woman herself, she turns into a loose one right away, no
matter whether she is married to the man or not. Oh, humankind has
invented so many kinds of laws and conventions trying to strengthen
this false union by artificial reanimation: ecclesiastic and secular
ones, but they don't help! They just make a man play, to get
adjusted to them, trying to make a show of the existence of a union
and create an imitation of a marriage.
The inner intentions were
always unchangeable and never depended on anybody or anything. Jesus
Christ had realized it. Then he tried to emphasize it by saying that
anyone who was looking at a woman with lust is already committing
adultery with her in his heart. Then all of you, taken together
recently tried to hold up to shame the one who had left a family...
Although nothing in any kind of situation could stop man from
searching intuitively for this grace, once experienced. He/she is
looking persistently for this great satisfaction in spite of all
kinds of obstacles.
A false union is horrible because children are involved! Do you
understand, Vladimir? Children! They feel artificiality, the
mendacity of such a union. Children start to doubt everything their
parents say to them. Children can sense a lie subconsciously when
they are still in their conceptual stage. Because of it they feel
Tell me, and who would not? What kind of a man would like to appear
in this world as a result of carnal pleasures? Everyone would like
to be created by a great impulse of love striving for a real
Those who joined a false union later on will seek a real
satisfaction secretly, away from one another. They will be longing
for possession of new bodies all the time or use only their own
bodies ordinarily and they are doomed. Only intuitively being aware
that the real grace of the real union is moving away from them
farther and farther”.
“Anastasia, wait a minute. Could it really be true that men and
women are doomed to such an extent if they happened to have just
regular sex at first? Is it possible that there would not be any way
out, no opportunity left to correct the situation?”
“Why, there is an opportunity. Now I know for sure what to do. Where
and what kind of words should I find to express it, to put it into
words? I am searching for such kinds of words all the time. I was
looking for them in the past and in the future but I've failed to
find them. Maybe they are quite near, somewhere here? They are about
to appear, new words are ready to be born with the ability to reach
the heart and mind. The new words to express the ancient truth of
the Original Sources”.
“Well, don't get frustrated, Anastasia. Try to tell me using those
words which are available at least approximately. What else is
necessary for real satisfaction besides two bodies?”
“Awareness! Mutual striving for creation. Sincerity and purity of
“Where do you get all this knowledge from, Anastasia?”
“I am not the only one who knows it. The enlightened souls like
Vales, Krishna, Rama, Shiva, Christ, Allah, Buddha were trying to
explain to people the essence of all existence”
“Now, what's that?
Did you read about them? Where? When?”
“I did not read about them. I just know what they have said, what
they were thinking about and what was their mission, what they
wanted to accomplish”
“So, according to you, is it bad just to enjoy
“Very bad! It leads a man away from the truth, destroys a
family and a huge amount of energy goes nowhere”.
“Then why do they
publish such a great number of magazines with naked women in erotic
poses and produce movies with sensuality and sex? They are a great
success and in great demand. The demand gives rise to supply. What
do you mean? Do you want to say that our humankind is absolutely
“Humankind is not wicked but the mechanism of the dark forces,
eclipsing the spirituality provoking carnality, is very strong. It
brings a lot of troubles and suffering to people. It works through
women using their beauty, the destination of which is to awake and
support the spirit of a poet, an artist and a creator in man.
Because of this very purpose a woman herself should be pure. If
there is no purity of feeling, then an attempt of attracting a man
with the help other sexual charms comes forward. The purpose of it
is just to get a man with the outside beauty of an empty vessel. By
doing this she tricks a man. It is inevitable that she is going to
suffer for this trickery all her life”.
“How come? Couldn't mankind manage to overcome this
dark forces through the millennia of its existence? It has failed to
overcome this in spite of all the calls of 'the enlightened souls'?
Does it mean that it is just impossible to overcome them? Maybe,
there just is no need to do it?”
“It is possible and necessary by all means!”
“Then how could it be done?”
“Women again! Those who have managed to realize the truth and their
predestination will get changed and eventually men will change too”.
“No way, Anastasia, I doubt it. A normal man will always be excited
by a beautiful woman's legs and breasts... Especially when on a
business trip or on vacation he happens to be far away from his
woman. That is the way. It just happens. Nobody can change anything
in this case. So it's one way traffic”.
“But I have already done it for you”.
“What have you done?”
“From now on you will not be able to be
involved with pernicious sex”.
A horrifying thought struck me like
lightning and started to reverse the wonderful feeling which was
born inside me the previous night.
“What have you done to me,
Anastasia? Tell me! What? I am now... What am I now... Impotent?”, I
“On the contrary, you have become a real man now. Just regular sex
will be repulsive to you. It will not bring you the feeling you have
experienced that night as this kind of feeling could be possible
only in the case of a desire to have a baby. The woman should have
the same desire too. She should really love to desire a baby from
“Love me? Well, under such conditions... During a life time it could
happen only a couple of times. That's it...”.
“It is quite sufficient to be happy within your entire life, trust
me. You will realize it”.
Anastasia stretched her arms towards me and tried to move closer.
jumped quickly away from her into the den's comer and shouted out,
“Stay away from the exit, please. I ask you nicely!”.
She stood up.
I crawled out and backed up from her a couple of steps.
“You have deprived me maybe of the main pleasure in my life.
Everybody is longing for it, everybody is thinking of it, even if
they don't speak aloud about it”.
“It is just an illusion, Vladimir, all these so-called pleasures you
are talking about. I've helped you to get rid of a terrible,
pernicious, sinful attraction
“Whether it is illusion or not, who knows? Anyhow, it is a pleasure
universally acknowledged. Don't you dare make me rid of it just
because you take it as a 'pernicious' inclination. Otherwise when I
get out of here, I will forget about any relationship with a woman.
No drinking! Having a nice snack! No smoking! Thank you! The great
majority of people in everyday life are absolutely unaccustomed to
“Well, what is good in hard drinking, smoking, senseless and
pernicious digesting of a great amount of animal meat since there
has been plenty of vegetation created especially for man to live
“Now look here, why don't you live on your 'vegetation' if you like
it and leave me alone. For many of us it's a pleasure to smoke, to
drink liquor, to enjoy a nice meal. It is recognized and accepted by
everybody. Do you understand it? Accepted! This is the bottom line!
“Look, Vladimir, everything you've mentioned is bad and pernicious”.
“'Bad'? 'Pernicious'? All right! What if my invited guests come to
my house to celebrate some special occasion. They sit down at the
table and I would tell them, 'My dear friends, will you help
yourselves to some nuts, have a bite of an apple, enjoy a glass of
water and no smoking.' Then it will be really bad!”
“When you invite your friends and as soon as they come, is it the
most important thing to do right away to invite them to sit down at
the table and start drinking, eating and smoking?”
“It does not really matter whether it is the most important or not.
It is just universally acknowledged all over the world, by all
people. In some countries there is even a special traditional dish
like a roast turkey for a certain holiday or occasions 'It is not
recognized by everybody in your world'. Well, maybe not by
everybody but as for me, I am live among normal people”.
“Why do you believe that your surroundings consist of the most
“Just because they are the majority”.
“It is not a
“It is not a 'weighty' one for you because it is
impossible trying to explain anything to you”.
My anger towards
Anastasia was vanishing. I recalled everything I had heard about new
I remembered about doctors sexopathologists and a
comforting thought came to my mind:
“If she has done something which somehow caused me any damage, the
doctors would be able to help correct my problem”.
So, I said,
right, Anastasia, let's make a bargain, I am not angry any more.
Thank you very much for the wonderful night! Only in future you had
better not try to get rid of my habits and addictions. As far as sex
is concerned, I'll fix it with the help of our doctors and modern
medicine. All right? Now let's go bathing”.
I walked to the lake, enjoying the morning forest.
A good mood was returning to me again and as for her... It's
unbelievable! Can you imagine?!
She followed me and said all of a
“Medicine and doctors will not help you. To change you back,
the way it was before, first of all they would need to erase
from your memory file everything that had happened and the memory of
Being shocked by this news I stopped and
screamed at the top of my voice,
“What? Then why don't you undo it?”
“Sorry, I can't undo it either”.
And again the feeling of blind fury overwhelmed me.
“You... You are
an insolent woman! You are interfering in and messing my life! Here
you are! You are ready to make dirty tricks but correct them by
deleting them, "I can't! Isn't it something?!”
“But I haven't done any dirty trick. Didn't you want to have a son
of yours so much? Although many years have passed by and here you
are, you still don't have a son. There is no woman in your life who
could give birth to your long awaited son. A desire to have a child
from you also a son, has come to me too. Even more to it, I can...
Then why do you think beforehand that you will not be well? How do
you know? Maybe you will realize it sooner or later... Don't be
afraid of me, please, Vladimir. I am not interfering into your
psyche. It happened all by itself. You have got what you had wished
for. Your wish has come into the material. If there is one thing
which I would like to help you with very much, it is to get rid of,
at least, one mortal sin”.
“Now again! What kind of sin, I wonder?”
“Well, I tell you! You are a strange woman! Your philosophy and way
of life are inhuman”.
“What do you see in me which is not human, that scares you?”
“First of all, you are living in this forest all by yourself,
communicating with plants and animals. There is nobody in our world
whose life can come even close to yours”.
“How come, Vladimir, why...”, Anastasia started to speak excitedly,
"What about dachniks? They also communicate with plants and animals
but yet they do it unconsciously, without being aware of it. Later
on they will realize it. The process of realization has already
started with many of them”.
“Well, and here we go! She is already a
dachnitsa, and this beam of
yours... You don't read books but you know a lot. It is a kind of
“Just a minute, I'll explain to you everything but take your time,
not all of a sudden. It takes time, you know. I am trying hard but I
can't find the proper words, the understandable ones. Please, trust
me. Everything I do is quite absolutely human in distinctive
features. It was given to humans long, long ago. It is their
primordial bond. It is in our primordial source files. Everybody can
do it. Well, anyhow, sooner or later people inevitably will return
to it again. The process will slowly take place when the Light
“What about your concert? You were singing with different voices,
imitating my favorite singers and, moreover, it was done in exactly
the same consecutive order that is recorded in my video tape”.
“It just happened, Vladimir. Once I saw the tape, listened to the
songs. I'll tell you later on how it happened. All right?”
“And what do you mean, did you memorize right away the words and the
melodies of all those songs?”
“Yes, I did. What is complicated about it or mystic? Oh, what have I
said and showed you! You got scared of me, didn't you? I guess,
evidently, I am a muddle-headed chatterbox. I don't know how to
restrain myself. Once my grandpa called me this name. I thought that
he had done it just because of his love for me. Now I believe that I
am really a muddle-head. Please... Vladimir...”.
Anastasia was talking excitedly and evidently it was the reason why
my fear of her was almost gone.
The thoughts of my son filled up all
“Well, I am all right, I am not afraid any more. Only, please, do
restrain yourself a little bit. You see, even your grandpa has told
you about it”.
“Yes, he has. My great-grandpa... and I am talking on and on... You
know, I can't help it because there is so much to say and I want to
say it all! Am I a chatterbox? Yes, sure I am. I'll try to do my
best. I'll try to say only the things which are understandable”
“So, you mean that you will give birth, Anastasia?”
“Of course! Only it will not be in prime time”.
“What do you mean by saying 'not in prime time'?”
“You see, it is
necessary to do it in summer, it is an indispensable condition, when
nature helps to bring a baby up”.
“Then why did you make the decision if it is so risky for you and
“Don't worry, anyhow, the son will live”.
“And me too. I'll try to stay till spring comes and then
everything will come its way”.
She said that without a shade of sadness or fear for her own life.
Anastasia took a run and jumped into the water of the small lake. A
shaft of sprays sparkling in the sun raised like fireworks and
descended on the clean and smooth surface of the lake. In about
thirty seconds her body slowly started coming up to the surface. She
was lying on the water with her arms wide apart and smiling.
standing on the bank watching her and thinking:
“Will the squirrel
hear the snaps of her fingers when she is lying together with her
baby in other shelters? Will any of her four-footed friends help
her? Will there be enough warmth in her body to give to the baby?”
“If my body is getting cold and the baby needs food, it will cry”,
said Anastasia in a low voice on coming out of the water. "Its
dissatisfied cry will wake up the pre-spring nature or at least a
part of it and then everything will be fine. They will bring the
“Did you read my mind?”
“No, I just assumed that you were thinking
about it. It is quite natural”.
“Anastasia, you have told me that your relatives live near by. Could
they help you?”
“They are pretty much occupied and they could not be bothered”.
“What is it that they are so occupied with? What are you doing all
day long if practically the whole surrounding nature is serving
“Well, I am occupied with... And I am also trying to
help the people of your world, those whom they call 'dachniks' or gardeners”.
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