Student: What
prevents me from experiencing my innermost self?
Teacher: Nothing.
Student: Then why don’t I experience it?
Teacher: Fear.
Student: So, then fear prevents me?
Teacher: Nothing prevents you.
Student: But didn’t you just say that fear is the reason I can’t
experience this state of consciousness? Teacher: Yes, but it does
not prevent you.
Student: Then what does?
Teacher: Nothing.
Student: Then what role does fear play?
Teacher: If you are in
prison, what do you fear most when you dream of being liberated?
Student: Returning to prison… So, you’re saying that I fear
experiencing my inmost self because I will return to my ignorance.
Teacher: No. I am saying that your fear of ignorance holds you in
ignorance.
Student: I’m confused. I thought you were saying that I feared the
experience of my highest self, but now it sounds like you’re saying
that I fear my human self. Which is it?
Teacher: You fear the return
to your human self after experiencing the God-fragment within you.
Student: Why?
Teacher: If you are thirsting in the desert, what is it that you
desire above all else?
Student: Water?
Teacher: So if I gave you a glass of water, you’d be satisfied?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: For how long?
Student: Okay. I
see your point. What I would desire above all else is to be near
water so I could drink whenever I wanted, or better yet, I would
want to leave the desert entirely.
Teacher: And if you loved the desert, wouldn’t you fear to leave it?
Student: You’re saying that I fear the experience of my inmost self
because I would want to leave this world behind, but how can I fear
this when I have no experience of it whatsoever?
Teacher: This is not the fear that floods your body when someone is
about to kill you. It is the fear of a shadow so mysterious,
ancient, and primordial that you know immediately that it transcends
this life and this world, and its knowing will change you
irrevocably.
Student: So it’s really this change that I fear?
Teacher: It’s the irrevocability of the change that you fear.
Student: But how do you know? How do you know I fear this so much
that I cannot experience my inmost self? Teacher: In order to keep
the human instrument in stable interaction with its world, the
designers of the human instrument created certain sensory
constraints. Because these were not absolutely effective, there was
also designed into the Genetic Mind of the human species an
instinctual fear of being displaced from its dominant reality. For
these two reasons, I know.
Student: But this
isn’t fair. You’re saying my capacity to experience my inmost self
has been diminished by the very beings that designed it. Why? Why
should I be continually frustrated to know I have a God-fragment
inside me, but not be allowed to interact with it?
Teacher: Do you love this world?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: You are here as a human instrument to interact with this
world and attune to its dominant reality, and bring your
understanding of your inmost self to this world even if this
understanding is not pure, strong, or clear.
Student: But if I had
this experience of my inmost self, couldn’t I bring more of this
understanding into this world?
Teacher: This is the fallacy that
frustrates you. Do you think the experience of this sublime energy
and intelligence can be reduced to human translation?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: Then how?
Student: I can teach others how it feels to be in rapport with their
souls. I can bring more light to this world and inspire others to
seek this out within themselves. Isn’t this what you do?
Teacher: Have I taught you how to achieve this state?
Student: No. But you have inspired me.
Teacher: Are you sure? Haven’t I just told you
that you can’t experience this state in the human instrument? Is
that inspiration by your definition?
Student: I didn’t mean in this specific case, but you inspire me to
think deeper into the issues or problems that confront me.
Teacher: If you want to bring more light into this world, why will
interaction with your inmost self enable you to do so?
Student:
That’s just it. I don’t know if it will. It just seems logical that
it would. Don’t all good teachers have this insight? Don’t you?
Teacher: It’s true that there are teachers who can switch their
dominant realities, and have learned to integrate this in their life
without losing balance or effectiveness in this world, but they are
extremely rare.
Student: I know this. But this is what I aspire to learn. It is
learned isn’t it? Can’t you teach me?
Teacher: No, it is not learned. It is not teachable. It is not
acquired through instruction, esoteric technique, or revelatory
process.
Student: Then how do those teachers who have this ability acquire
it?
Teacher: No one acquires this ability. That’s my point. No teacher
within a human instrument on Earth at this time, or any previous,
has the ability to live as a human and simultaneously live as a
God-fragment. Nor does any teacher juggle between these realities
with certainty and control.
Student: I’m surprised to hear this. Why is this so?
Teacher: For the same reasons I told you earlier. Do you not think
this applies to all humans?
Student: Even Jesus?
Teacher: Even Jesus.
Student: Then why do I have this desire? Who put this notion into my
head that I should be able to experience this inmost self or
God-fragment?
Teacher: If one experiences the wind, do they not understand
something of a hurricane?
Student: I suppose.
Teacher: And if they experience the rain, don’t they understand even
more about hurricanes?
Student: Yes.
Teacher: If you never experienced a hurricane, but you experienced
wind and rain, might you be able to imagine a hurricane better than
if you never experienced wind and rain?
Student: I should think so.
Teacher: Such is the case of the God-fragment within the
human instrument. You can experience unconditional love, supernal
beauty, harmony, reverence, and wholeness, and in so doing, you can
imagine the features and capabilities of the God-fragment within
you. Some teachers have simply touched more of the edges of the God-fragment than others,
but I assure you, none have entered into its depths while living in
the human instrument.
Student: But don’t some teachers travel outside their body?
Teacher:
Yes, but they are still living in a human instrument whilst they
travel. Everything I said still applies.
Student: So what do I do?
Give up the desire to have this experience?
Teacher: There is a fish that can leave its underwater world upon
the equivalent of wings. While it is only for a short time, it
experiences the realm of the air-breathers. Do you think this flying
fish ever desires to touch a cloud, climb a tree, or venture into a
forest?
Student: I don’t know… I doubt it.
Teacher: Then why does it fly above the water?
Student: I suppose
it’s an instinct, something of an evolutionary imperative—
Teacher: Exactly.
Student: So you’re saying this is true of humans as well. We strive
to experience our God-fragment out of an evolutionary imperative or
compulsion?
Teacher: Yes, and like the flying fish, when we break from
our world it is only for a short time and we fall beneath the
surface once again. But while we are above the surface of our world,
we momentarily forget we are just a human with a beginning and an end. Yet, when
we do this, we do not imagine that we can touch the face of God
within ourselves.
Student: But I do. I feel that I can, and even
should, touch this God-fragment.
Teacher: You think this way because you have the hopeful exuberance
and naïveté of a person unacquainted with the experience of First
Source.
Student: So you don’t feel this way?
Teacher: Anyone attuned to the highest vibrations of their innermost
self will feel this and be guided by it. The only difference is that
I am content in knowing that I will not experience it while I am
embodied in a human instrument.
Student: And what does this
contentment provide you that I don’t have?
Teacher: The ability to channel my energy into this world rather
than to apply it in the pursuit of another.
Student: But I thought
you said it is an evolutionary imperative? How do I control this
desire or ambition? Teacher: Live in this world with all your
passion and strength. See the God-fragment in this world, even if it
is only a diminished beacon or tired light. See it! Nurture it! Do
not be so quick to look for it in the depths of your heart or mind
where you believe it might be.
Student: It’s hard not to be disheartened at the sound of
these words. It is like someone telling me that the vision I had was
merely a mirage, or a trick of the light.
Teacher: This is a world of shadows and
echoes. You can chase the source of these if you desire, but you
will likely do so at the loss of living in this world. You will
diminish your experience of the shadows and echoes, and this is the
very reason you incarnated upon this planet at this time.
Student:
But it sounds so passive, as if I should settle for experiencing
this world, and not try to change it. I feel like I’m here with a
mission to improve it, to change it for the better, and I’m missing
some experience, some capability to do this. What is it I feel and
why?
Teacher: When you experience the warmth of the sun, do you change
the sun?
Student: No.
Teacher: And if you hold a piece of ice in your hands, do you change
it?
Student: Yes. It begins to melt.
Teacher: So there are some things you can only experience, and there
are some things you can change.
Student: And I should know the
difference.
Teacher: It helps.
Student: I know this. It’s elementary. I’m not sure it helps me feel
less disheartened.
Teacher: You know this, I agree, but you have not necessarily
practiced it. It is a principle of life to practice discretion and discernment, and
while people will think this concept elementary, it is a critical
difference in living life in a state of fulfillment or, as you put
it, frustration.
Student: So I can’t change the fact that the
God-fragment within me is unknowable to my human mind, and I need to
accept that. Is that the lesson to be learned here?
Teacher: No.
Student: Then what is?
Teacher: The concept of the God-fragment within you has power. It
can be contemplated, but it cannot be experienced as a dominant
reality in a human instrument. Through this contemplative approach
you can learn discernment, and through this discernment you will
learn how to navigate in the world of shadows and echoes in such a
way that you bring changes that are in accord with the objectives of
First Source. You externalize the will of the God-fragment, rather
than seek its experience. In so doing, you eliminate the fear and
frustration energies that flow through your mind.
Student: Thank
you. Your teaching just struck the chord I have been seeking since I
found this path, and I feel its resonance.
Teacher: In resonance you will be guided.
