The Fallen Angel
To write the Lucifer story is a great honor for me for I feel great
love in my heart for this being, Lucifer. Before all you religious
types out there get the wrong message, I am not in any way a demon
worshipper or Satanist. I have no real interest in evil or the
Christian version of the story of Lucifer.
All I want to do is tell is the story of Lucifer, as I perceive it
and how he has shown it to me. All I ask of you is to see it as a
story. For it is a story, a story to allow the reader to get a new
perspective on the creation that is occurring on this planet. I ask
you to open your hearts wider than ever before, to allow yourselves
to feel the energy of this story, for beyond the words there is a
beauty that only a completely open and trusting heart can perceive.
For most of us, Lucifer is nothing more than an imaginary character,
for the Christians among us; he is the personification of pure evil.
For me, I had not even really given him a second thought until I
experienced his energy personally.
I wrote about my first experience with Lucifer in 'Multi-Selves and
a New Reality', part of which I would like to quote here:
I was taking the light of truth into the darkest place in the
universe, to the home of Lucifer, the light that had been downloaded
to me via the sun in the daytime. I don't want to get all 'Bible-y'
on you, but it was my only way of understanding what was going on. I
knew the story of Lucifer and my Spirit used the stories I already
knew to aid me in my understanding because I needed to understand
and under-stand quickly. He was coming. I can't say that I
physically saw him. I didn't need to. Feeling him was quite enough.
The fear was impressive. My body shook and I involuntarily made this
strange pining sound like an animal does when it's really scared and
I couldn't stop.
He filled the entire room. It felt like I was going to die, which
was scary in itself, but what was more scary was that without the
beliefs of my body, that said this was delusional, I feared that
Lucifer would devour me. There is a well known saying that when you
are at the bottom of the pit that is when you find God. I was on the
edge, like I had never been before. This was one hell of a test. It
felt like not only did my life depend on my success, but also
symbolically the success of New Planet becoming a reality for
everyone in the future was on my shoulders. Near to annihilation, or
that is how it felt. I had no where left to turn. I had to face him.
So face him I did.
The most incredible thing happened. I saw him as God. It was so
simple, if everything is God, then so was Lucifer. I felt the love.
It was pure, mine, and mine to give, my divinity. Not only did my
soul face and love its enemy, but also so, too, did my ego. We
embraced lovingly on an energetic level. I had succeeded. My Spirit
explained to me that I had anchored the light into the darkness and
now, in time, New Planet Reality would manifest for all.
The process complete, the angels began to sing, I could hear them.
The sun of another day rose in the sky. I have always experienced
this spiritual ascension process that I seem to be on as a
unification of all the aspects of my higher self. Lucifer, I
perceived to be yet another aspect, the aspect of self that would
not believe self as a divine being of light. This feeling would rack
me with doubt and confusion. The energy would come in, and would
make me doubt what I had experienced, trying to get me to feel
wrong, and worse still, to make me feel evil.
It tested me to the fullest and enabled me to shift through level
upon level of fear. Here, in the climax of my experience, I could
transform our relation-ship and move into a forgiving, non-judgmental
perspective of a being that has been hated and loathed for many
millennia. Scared as I was, I wanted to be different. I wanted to
see the love everywhere, even in the most unlovable energy of all of
God's creation, in Lucifer. For as black and dark as he was, I had a
feeling there was more to his story than met the eye.
My next encounter of him was at a workshop where we were healing out
our ideas of evil. The workshop facilitators asked us how we felt
about evil. Rationally we all spouted various ideas, such as we are
all God, everything is God so therefore so is Lucifer and evil is
another aspect of the creation. Yin and Yang, light and dark, and so
on. Our bodies, however, had a completely different opinion. We all
were in great fear. The facilitators decided that they would channel
various evil personages and we would be allowed to heal out any
judgments that we might hold towards these beings.
One of the facilitators stood in front of me, channeling Lucifer. I
cannot describe the fear I was in. Rationally, I thought the whole
thing a little stupid, but my body was reacting so badly that there
had to be something in this. So, I took a deep breath, breathing in
more of my higher self, allowing the healing process to occur.
I looked into the facilitator's eyes. Usually, she so loved, but
channeling Lucifer, her eyes were cold and uncaring. I breathed
deeply, the fear transmuting through the loving presence of my
higher self. Belief systems I never thought I had, surfaced to be
cleared, past life connections with their beliefs about evil haunted
my very soul. They were clearing, the veils of illusion allowing me
to see, really see.
It is hard to describe what happened next. All I can say is that I
experienced a great sense of recognition. I recognized the divinity
within this being. I saw love there. I felt a compassion, an empathy
as never before. As I stood crying, looking into those eyes, I knew
I had found what I was looking for. It felt like I had searched the
whole of existence for this being, believing him lost. Now I had
found him. The emotions were overwhelming.
I asked for his forgiveness forever thinking he was an evil being
that should be hated. He smiled and said that I was
making him free through my love. He had never felt such a connection
for such a long time, and it had begun to warm his cold body.
I felt such a connection to this being. I felt like we were the same
type of being. Before he fell, we were the same, twin souls,
whatever you want to call it. I vowed there and then that I would
help him and any other of his kind to free themselves from the
darkness and to enable them to return to their former glory in the
love and light of God. It sounds like a very tall order. Usually
people run from the dark forces, projecting hatred and fear at them,
projecting their own evil intent, encasing these beings in the fifth
of other's psyches. I felt very passionate about it. I would free
this being. I would not go to New Planet until this was done!
Over the next few months, I experienced Lucifer more and more. He
showed me the creativity in what we call evil. He showed me how,
amazingly, light beings can come to Earth to experience evil and
good and bad and that if viewed as just experience, and evil was a
very creative experience from the perspective of soul.
He showed me
the creative, divine spark that can even exist in the depths of
emotions such as fear, depression, sorrow and various other deep and
dark places. I finally began to understand why my soul moved me to
such deep, dark spaces within myself. Viewing it from the
perspective of soul, I could playfully flow with these dark spaces,
allowing them expression through writing and art, until the thrust
within my soul for experiencing the darkness was exhausted.
When I say darkness, I do not necessarily mean evil in the way we
have come to understand it, but evil in the sense of going into such
dark spaces within yourself that you feel without God. For me, the
emotion of sorrow was uppermost. The depths of lost feelings that I
shifted through were symbolic of the Lucifer aspect within my self
being integrated within my soul, coming home to the light within
Lucifer helped me understand that he was becoming free
through this inner and outer interaction throughout the love of my
very soul. I cannot say it was without its challenges. I had doubts
that what I was doing was ok. Maybe it was bad and evil and
Christians would say I was wrong, but the passion and love in my
heart would not let me give up on a being that seemed to have only
me as his friend.
Our relationship was intense. I seemed to experience him through a
symbolic story that he channeled through me. I cried the whole way
through as I could feel that, in my soul, he was speaking about us.
Their dimension lay like a brilliant blanket of sheer light,
infinitely rolling off in all directions. The light was golden and
pearl-like in hue and color. Shimmering through ripples of liquid
gold and silver, the winged ones passed, unfolding their energetic
wings, sending trails of light into the space around them. They had
been there for all of time, emanating energy of love and freedom for
the rest of the universe to draw upon.
The distinction between the light dimension and themselves was
little. Gazing upon this plane was a challenge to the eyes, but once
the eyes were accustomed to the light, light beings could be seen in
the emanations that radiated from this plane. Their beauty was
breathtaking to behold. Their exquisite radiance was mesmerizing,
iridescent, incandescent, illuminated from an internal source. These
energetic patterns of light resembled the bodies of winged angels.
Pure of face and heart, they existed only in a moment of bliss and
Overwhelmed by each other's presence, these angels of light embraced
in energetic rapture, living in a permanently exalted state of
rhapsody. They experienced no separation from the hearts of those
they loved. Saturated in the sweet honey of love and adoration, two
such beings cherished and honored each other's presence,
intoxicated and entranced by each other's love, each an intrinsic
part of the other. Two beings, identical, from the same mould, twin
flames of true power and unconditional love. Never had they been
separated, not even in form. So intrinsically entwined were their
energies, that the distinction between them could not be seen. Each
one was the rhythm of the other, each one the other's heart song.
For how long they enjoyed this unbroken, unified existence no one
could really tell. Time from their perspective was only a concept,
not as of yet a reality. Others had told them about the dimensions
below and the affects these dense vibrations were having on those
that traveled through them on their journeys of discovery.
So, when an impulse, an idea, came from the Source of all Light, the
Star, there were many eager to follow a new and exciting endeavor.
In the entire universe there was not a place where the inhabitants
did not realize that within each and every one of them, they held
the key to all life, the original seed from the Source. The idea was
to create a place a place of such density, such darkness that the
love of the Source could not penetrate. What would appear as a harsh
opportunity for growth was seen by some of the angels as a
challenge, an adventure that simply could not be denied.
The entwined and unified souls of light readied themselves in
preparation for such a challenge. Excited and inspired by the idea,
the challenge, they began to disentangle their energies from each
other, separating themselves from their eternal moments of
lovemaking. A flame of passion kindled in their hearts as they gazed
at each other's face. They watched and waited.
Soul to soul, heart
to heart, looking deep within each other, they vowed to always hold
the other within their heart so that no distance would truly
separate them. One was to leave to go on a journey of discovery to
complete the task of creating a place of forgetting. The other would
stay behind in the light planes, holding the idea of the other's
true form, in readiness for a time when it, too, would dive into the
dimensions below .to create a journey of its own that would
ultimately lead it to the discovery and the reunion of the other.
One stood poised on the edge, readying itself for its leap into the
unknown. Male in energy, he proudly stretched
and flexed his mighty wings to take flight. Fearless and strong he
willingly and excitedly awaited his descent into the cloudy realms
below him. She, with bated breath, watched and waited. She, too, was
excited and eager to watch the splendor that this challenge would
Never had there been any distance between them. Never before had
they been separated by time and space. He was to fall as fast and as
long as he could until he hit upon a dimension that was so dense
that it was capable of housing the place of forgetting. He was to
sleep and clothe himself in the matter, becoming dense in form,
taking the light into a place that would forget its origins. All
that lived upon it would live a strange life devoid of the light of
the Source. He was to hold the idea of the Source deep within
himself until he was awakened by the sweet kiss of his one true
She was to remain behind in the planes of light until such a time
when the impulse from above would come for her to carry the seed of
consciousness. Then she would search the dimensions below for her
true love. With one final loving glance, he spread his wings and
dove from the precipice. She watched him fall. At first he rode the
currents of energy.
The dimensions below pulled and tugged at his
wings. He tried to ride them but, much to his dismay, the currents
beneath the shallows were overwhelming He soon realized that he was
being pulled into the unknown. She watched with curiosity, but as
the distress and anguish began to show on his face, she, too,
realized exactly what parting really meant. She reached out to touch
him, longing to hold him once more. Her hands of light passed
straight through his body, already denser in form. No longer were
they of the same kind.
He surrendered his love and folded his mighty wings about him. He
closed his eyes and plummeted down into the murky depths, spiraling
down like a stone into a pool of still water. He spiraled down and
down. The clouds of density forming around him suffocated him as
they ripped at his very soul.
He was ill prepared for what awaited him. Instead of gliding and
swooping gracefully to his destination below, he fell and fell. Out
of control, surrendering to the experience, his fragile heart
pounded in his chest. The density closed in about him and the
forgetting took over until he seemed like a diamond trapped within a
solid and hard rock.
Heavy like a rock he dropped, the dreams of forgetting surrounding
him until his awareness began to become sleepy and with one last
conscious thought, he fell asleep. Now he resembled a dark mass. He
would sleep here, dreaming until he would be awakened within once
So Lucifer was not banished from Heaven but volunteered to go. In
the Bible it says that 'iniquity' was found in Lucifer.
What was this 'iniquity' that made Lucifer imperfect?
" Those of you who experience the separation cannot comprehend any
being wanting to remove itself from God's love. No Being would want
to subject itself to such torment and torture. Yet you are here are
you not? You must bring the story within yourself, understand it
from a symbolic perspective. I am the aspect of you that is lost,
cut off from God. Separate.
I was not always like this I, too, bathed in the love and light of
the Source of all creation. I, too, was a Being of light and love.
I, too, knew myself as an aspect of God. I, too, knew myself as God.
Do not mistake my arrogance as unique to myself. All beings outside
of your polarized thinking experience themselves as the spark of the
Creator. For God has many faces.
It is only Beings in the polarity
of good and bad that can possibly see creation as anything else. I
must take credit for holding you in this mode of expression. As the
story tells, my job was to hold the forgetting. It was a challenge
for beings such as myself to move into the void and create a space
that was outside of God. Could it be done? We were curious to try.
God granted us free will, the power to decide, to create a choice. I
stood at the crossroads and God gave me a choice, to go one way or
To God, this way. To Darkness, this way.
I had to choose. I knew that to choose the path back to God was the
choice of God. But the overall plans were to deny God within myself
and move beyond. I took a deep breath and curiously stepped into the
The rebellion was real, yet created by God itself. One third of the
angels followed me in rebellion against God. Any came, brave and
curious aspects of God, falling into the darkness, the unconscious
part of God' s creation. We fell into the Void to hold the
forgetting, to create space for the intense growth of all.
So, my lawlessness was encouraged, my rebellion smiled upon by a
The Story continues...
In a pattern of light he fell a blueprint, an idea in light, and a
fallen angel, not cast out by God, but surrendering to a higher
purpose, an impulse from the Source.
The idea was to create a planetary body capable of holding an energy
that would isolate and segregate the planet from the love of the
rest of the cosmos. This isolation would enable the inhabitants to
grow and evolve and learn through all possibilities whether good or
bad. Lucifer would sleep in the centre of this soon to be planet,
holding an energy that would allow the plan to be implemented.
As he fell, he wrapped cloudy veils of illusions around him. These
veils, these illusions were to become the reality of planet Earth,
weaving together, creating the illusions, the myths of man. Holding
firmly the histories of mankind, he slept, encased in the hard rock
of the forming planet. Safe from harm, undisturbed until he was to
awaken and take the planet to the light by his awakening.
As he fell
through the darkness, the reaction to his presence created wisps of
energy that swirled and spiraled like mist on an early morn. As he
descended further and further, the wisps of energy became denser and
denser until a form could be seen quite clearly. It was a Dragon
with giant wings, a serpent of the Void, the Unknown.
Encased within the safety of the loving embrace of the Dragon of
creation, Lucifer fell still further into the darkness. As he
radiated the 'forgetting energy' out from his centre, a strange
phenomenon could be seen to occur. The energy created level upon
level of reality. At first, there was only a slight, disconnected
feeling from the Source. As the process proceeded, the levels became
denser and denser, creating more and more levels of forgetting until
the Dragon of all creation could be seen to split in two.
A mighty Dragon of light and dark, of polarity, of duality divided.
As Lucifer came to his resting-place, the Dragon divided even more,
splitting and separating into four distinct and unique energies.
These Dragons of creation would make up the final resting-place of
his heart. The Dragons, serpents of energy, danced and wove a
beautiful pattern of light; each carrying its own ingredients to
create physical reality.
First, was the awesome Dragon of Fire, a
passionate elemental of light. Its fire trailed a blaze in the
darkness of the Void, cascading shards of light as it swooped down
and down into the depths of the unknown. With a roar and a torch of
fire, it exploded into a giant ball of burning light.
Then came the Serpent of the Deep, the water and fluid, the
lifeblood of creation, its aqueous, moist body casting trails of
mist in its path, its ghostly form alluring and hypnotizing. Almost
invisible to the eye, the elemental Dragon of Air could only be
recognized by the ripples that could be seen in the Void as it flew
in its spiral dance. Its ambience and openness created a space in
between the swirling fire and the water laden clouds.
With this interaction of energies, a fourth and final energy was
seen to hold all the other Dragons in form, the Dragon of Earth.
What it created was not as dense as we know physical reality, but
was an etherical structured pattern of energy and sound that held
the shapes of others as well as itself. Its immense body stretched
and layered, creating the very weft of the carpet of creation.
Earth, Air, Fire and Water, the very elements of all physical
creation. Chasing their tails, they spiraled around and around each
other, weaving a coat of denser and denser energy around Lucifer,
imprisoning him in the softness of matter.
The pattern that they created together came to rest in the darkness.
The Dragons, succumbing to the sleepy sedating energies of the
forgetting, fell asleep, too, drifting into a dreamtime where they
created and dreamed dreams of a planet that could express all of
their energies in an illusory way.
The hallucinations of their making wove together until a physical
planet could be seen hanging in the furthest reaches of the Void.
There it hung all alone, illuminated by pinpoints of light that had
now been created all around it. Isolated from that which it could
see, it lay sleeping, nestled in the womb of the Void, unknowingly
looked upon by the stars of consciousness that danced all around it.
Gaia was her name, giving animated intelligence actuality. She made
possible the Dragon dreams, which in turn were able to manifest
through the forgetting that he held in the centre of the planet. The
Dragons created her and became her skeleton framework for her to
hang her dreams upon. And so the place of the forgetting was created
and planet Earth was born.
As the veils wrapped around him like blankets, he slept, dreaming
his dreams that tormented his very soul. Lost in this dense realm,
he was totally cut off from both the love of her and the Source of
all light. He lived, lost and alone in his dreams, shadowy realms of
ghosts and demons, cold, dark and devoid of love.
Characters began to form as the body of the planet began to create
living forms in which Lucifer could dream. His face was no longer a
face of purity. It was now a face of the devil himself, a black and
hard mask of illusions, contorted, evil and hideous. Black lifeless
pupils blocked all light. Lost in his dreams so dark, he created
characters as he held the energy of the darkness. He surrendered to
the harshness of the environment and fulfilled his mission to create
darkness, evil, and death.
In consistent cycles, he dreamt, becoming denser and denser,
forgetting more and more of who he was and his true home, perverted
by the energies he had created around himself. Deserted, desolate,
lost and alone, he slept. His only comfort was an insatiable desire
for power, a lust for life, blood and death that, somehow, would
help to fill his vacant heart. It soothed the indescribable yearning
for something that he could not quite remember.
Twisted beyond recognition, tormented, insane, driven mad by the
craving for this unknown something, he cast evil forces against the,
angry, and vengeful against his very own soul. The dreams became
realities as he incarnated into physical bodies of Gaia's making.
Not all were bad. Some were honorable and proud kings and wise men
of old, yet they all paled in insignificance compared with the
blackness of his other lives, one after another. Vile and loathsome
characters turned his wheel of karma.
His face, black and hard, was now even unrecognizable to himself. He
lost his memory of his very own soul, which slept deep in the
recesses of his heart. His heart was a void, black and dead or so it
seemed Yet in the velvety depths of the darkness, nestled safely
from harm, his light slept, awaiting the time when his love would
return and awaken him to his true form.
He had long since convinced himself that this part of him was lost
forever yet in the darkest of nights, cries could be heard as he
dreamt his strange dreams of another place, the sorrow overwhelming
him until he could withstand it no more. Once more he would release
his vengeance upon the world that had imprisoned him.
"As I fell as a pattern, a blueprint of an idea, I held in form an
energy that enabled beings such as yourselves to experience, light
and dark, good and bad. You all come from many places in the
universe; there is much healing to be done. The only place in the
universe where beings can transmute negativity into positivity is on
This is enabled because I, Lucifer, hold a framework
that allows there to be duality, judgment. You see, it is not me
that commits the sins you project on to me; it is yourselves. You
cannot bear the darkness in your own souls, so you disown it and
project it onto me. Such is your nature, being held in duality.
You, as a species, have a tendency to judge, and this in itself is
the downfall of man. You have heard the story of the fall from Eden.
I did not commit any sin. I just gave you the choice. You, in your
truth, choose to judge the situation and fall from Grace. Grace is
the ability to blindly follow the intent of the Creator. You as
creative beings choose to choose. It was when you judged, that you
fell from your place in heaven. All I did was give you the space
where you could have a choice.
I have held this energy framework for millions of years and allowed
beings from all over the universe to come here and transmute karma,
to learn the lessons Earth so gladly teaches. Through me, you will
learn to heal your judgments and will learn to love the darkness as
well as the light as they are the two faces of God. Wake up to
yourselves. Gather in the projections that you have surrounded me
with and begin to heal. Wash away the darkness that encases me and I
will be free to be the Light bringer!"
The Story continues...
Thus was the land of illusions. At its centre stood a hard and
blackened rock, once an etherical mount of veils, veils of illusions
and dreams. It was said that the very rock held the story of all
mankind, the legends and myths of long ago. Each story, each legend
in veils one upon another, rose until the combining of the stories
became as solid as living rock, the Island of Veils. It was the
place of dreams, the sleeping place of dragons, the resting-place
When the planet was etherical the Creators walked the land in peace
and beauty. As the planet began to become dense, the creators left
to return to their origins in the stars. They left one of their kind
who would remember them in time. He was the brightest light, one who
would remember all and would realign them in all to the light of
creation. Upon his awakening he would bathe the whole planet in
light and cast shadows, all illusions into the darkness. All beings
would live in the light and love.
It was said that in an isolated part of the world there would stand
a Mount of rock and in that Mount, the Light bringer would sleep.
The light of the One would shoot out of the top of the Mount and
like a laser, it would criss-cross and create a light framework
throughout the entire planet and the light body of the planet would
be created. This light body would redesign the world and all the
veils would be removed and a New Planet Reality would be created.
This central pinnacle of the story stood now in our times surrounded
by sea in the beautiful Bay of Hopes and Sorrow where once it had
been surrounded by dense forests. It was the very first place to
become the densest of the Dragons' dreams the holder of the original
plan, the first physical point of the planet. Contained within the
very living rock were the files of ancestral knowledge, the
planetary consciousness. It was the very DNA of the planet.
In the very heart of the forgetting, Lucifer lay sleeping, holding
the energy of the forgetting in the centre of the Mount. From this
focal point, the world was created, dreams woven upon dreams until
the world as we now know it was created. The Bay of Hope and a
Sorrow with the Mount at its centre was a symbolic reflection of the
story of creation.
The Dark One ruled from within the safety of the Mount. Black and
foreboding, it stood stark against the ashen
grey of the sky, a darkened silhouette etched upon a storm cloud
canvas. The Mount, like a burnt and fossilized, hand stretched up to
crush and destroy the sun that shone from behind the blackened
clouds that rolled in from some distant shore.
The Dark One had entered the sleeping minds of the Dragons. He had
infiltrated their thoughts, trapping them unconsciously into the
dreams of death and decay, possessing the very landscape with his
noxious thoughts. The very air around the Mount was putrid and
toxic. Clouds of grey cobwebs could be seen hanging around the
highest point. Many had tried to enter the Mount, yet none made it
because of the toxic and foul air that wrapped tightly around its
victims. Those who failed were said to be haunted images of their
With long and blackened fingernails, Lucifer wrapped upon the black
hard arm of his throne, waiting. He could wait forever. He had
nowhere to go. The body at his feet on the other hand was temporary.
Death, in time, awaited it. Like some greedy monster, it devoured
its prey. It trapped souls within the confines of the rock. He
listened. He could hear the cries, which were like sweet music to
his ears. Tormented and lost, they were held in the throes of dying
over and over again.
Many were blind to the Dark One and its evil
workings. They carried out their pious lives, sanctimonious in their
beliefs in a false God. Too busy worshipping their merciless God,
they were totally unaware that, in fact, they worshipped the Dark
One. Praying to what they considered 'Holy' and 'right', they
unwittingly gave their power to the Dark Lord.
Occasionally his demonic thoughts would take form and he would
stretch out his hand and reach into the hearts of the blind and
manipulate them into acts of violence and malicious crimes of sin.
It fed him. He could feel their blackened life force like fruit
rotten from within, draining out of their veins into his. He
contaminated their very souls. He made them servants, slaves to
carnal desires of lust, greed and death. They were easy prey.
could use them to affect and manipulate the outside world. His aim
was to penetrate the outside world, the world from beyond the
doorways. Souls so easily trapped were poor game. With every meal
his hunger, relentless, grew more and more.
"I am a mirror to the human soul. I only reflect your darkness, all
that is not with God. The darkest recesses of your soul are
reflected in the vision that you have of me. You cannot accept that
there are places in your souls that are dark. You talk about being
sinners, but how many of you have the courage to accept the darkness
within yourselves. You have spent an eternity trying to project this
failing onto others and myself. Blaming, judging, simply digging
deeper and deeper grave for yourselves.
Yet I do not judge. It is all-fine with me. There is nothing that
would shock me. I have been very curious watching you from within my
space create a world that is constantly on the verge of destruction.
You are such exciting beings; I am amazed watching you. You are
living breathing expressions of the Creator, creating dark and
fore-boding clouds in your very own reality. This has been a
necessary part of the plan.
You have come here from many places in
the universe, bringing many issues with you to be played out. You
are using the energy space that I provide to experience good and
evil, right and wrong, light and darkness. You are learning choice
and free will. I have held for you a framework where you can
experience light and dark. I will hold this framework until the last
of you have finished playing in the darkness. For that is what it
Elevate your consciousness into the fifth dimension for a moment,
and look at me and you will see that I am friend, a brother,
enabling you to experience a creative process that allows you to
forget, to dream, and to awaken as God once more. It is to waken in
the dream, to allow the God that you are, to awaken in the lucidity
of your reality!
From the level of non-judgment, it has all been a cosmic joke. All
is God; nothing can possibly be left out, so, therefore, so am I and
so is the darkness. For the darkness is a very creative process and
fear in its transmutation is an experience never to be missed by any
enquiring and curious soul.
When you can accept and love the part of you that is the dark as a
creative part of your consciousness, then I will free you from my
grasps and we will move together into the Oneness of New Planet.
When you no longer look at me as outside of yourself, when you have
pulled all the aspects of yourself into the fullness of your souls
you will move in consciousness. When you can look upon evil acts
without judgment, then you have truly entered the realms of heaven.
I await you there. It is not about living your life without care or
purpose. It is about feeling and following the intent of the soul
I have faith in you as I waken within you. As you integrate me as
your own, we will both be free to play once more in Eden. For within
my soul and yours, there is the information we will use to find our
way Home to bathe in each other's love once more. I cannot wait for
the embrace. I have felt the love. It has made me hungry. Finally I
know what will satisfy this empty heart. The love of your soul. For
it is through beings such as you that mankind can free the
perspectives that you have around evil. Only when you can look upon
darkness with the love of the Creator, which you are, will this
planet of yours shift in vibration.
I hold the key. I am a blueprint. Not only do I hold the idea of
separation and duality, but I also have the means with which to
transform your world into a unified world of oneness and light. No
longer will you see black and white, yin and yang, but you will
perceive the unification of spirit and matter. You will literally
become Gods living in physical forms. For this was the plan that we
had all along to transform the very negativity of the universe
through the love of beings such as you and me. For are we not all
The blueprint is a matrix that contains all the necessary
information to create a New Planet frequency; beings are being
aligned with the crystal at the centre of the planet to access this
information. When the time is right, every-one will be aligned and I
will send out a new intent. With this, we will bathe in the Light of
the Creator once more.
So, until the last person is finished dancing
with the devil, I will hold the old way, but I am eager to shift
into a new role, one where I will be misunderstood no more."
Back to Contents
Personal Experiences of Energy
The first time I met the Antari was whilst I was having a
kinesiology session. Part of the re-balance entailed my having two
crystals placed at my feet and head. As soon as the crystal was
placed at my head, I felt movement. I felt very dreamy and was
obviously in an altered state of consciousness. I felt the table
beneath me move forward. Then I could see lights moving quickly over
Just as I thought, "Where am I?", I saw the Zeta, lots of them
looking at me from a spot of light that seemed to be at the end of a
dark tunnel. In my head, they said, " See, even after all this time
you are still frightened of us". Then I lost a bit of time and the
next thing I knew, I was on a spaceship. It was really real, as
though I were there, physically.
I was lying down on a table that came out from the wall. Everywhere
was bathed in a golden light that didn't seem to source from
anywhere. It was very misty in the peripheral of my vision, and yet,
I knew this was no dream. Then I looked up to see the most amazing
ET presence. One of the Antari stood over me.
The being was made up
of golden light that was made up of spinning golden molecules that
resembled galaxies and solar systems that revolved around a central
sun in the heart area. Its body reminded me of a praying mantis. Its
head was very elongated and sat upon a long thin slender neck. It
was very similar to the Zeta, but so much taller and made of a body
much lighter in vibration. Its eyes were so beautiful, with a loving
gaze that almost made me swoon.
With the most loving of energy, the Antari telepathically said, "Oh, you are awake. You seem to wake up more and more these days."
knew the being immediately. I felt like it was a long lost friend. I
was very pleased to see it and wanted to jump off the table and
throw my arms around it. Then I realized what I was there for. I
looked down and I was being operated upon. I was open from throat to
navel. It was a bit of a shock, I can tell you. I watched with
amazement as they took what looked like a burnt out fuse from out of
my body and put a new one in.
The new one had golden light inside
it. They worked very swiftly because of my waking up. They seemed
very pleased that even though I was experiencing what to some would
be a very frightening experience, nevertheless, I was taking it on
board calmly and peacefully.
They finished the operation and let me briefly look around my
surroundings. It didn't look like a ship that was all mechanical,
but it seemed to me that it was a place where all dimensions could
be accessed. I got the feeling there were more presences around me
but on a different frequency. That is all I remember of that
The next thing I knew, I was back on the massage couch. I could see
how on the third dimension I was still lying there, but on the
fourth dimension; I was etherically on a spaceship.
Some months passed before I encountered them consciously again, even
though I had dreamt about them frequently. Whilst sitting in my
front room one late evening, they simply walked out of the wall.
Three of them. They communicated information directly into my body,
and telepathically explained to me that I was one of them on a
higher level and that they would be working directly through me.
They explained that they would not channel words so much, but would
channel a new level of DNA work.
Over the next three months, I integrated my Antari self and began to
align my light body into my etherical blueprint. The new blueprint
was an improved version with new programs and devices which, when
activated, allowed me to access other frequencies and energies. I
could etherically see the energetic operations they performed on me.
One of the weirdest things was the way they reprogrammed the right
and left hemispheres of the brain by flickering the eyes in a
pattern. One eye would feel like it had moved forward in the socket,
and would pulse so many times, then stop, and then the other one
would do the same. It was like a code, dashes and dots, coding
straight into the etherical brain. I don't want to go into detail
about the various operations, but I do want to say that I knew what
was going on. It was as though I were being reminded of what I once
Slowly the Antari began their work in my healing sessions with
people, re-structuring DNA, activating the pineal gland, and so on.
They tone the most incredible tones through me, and people have been
quite blown away by their energy and presence.
Even though these procedures are probably symbolic, they seem to be
having an amazing result. After sessions when the Antari energy has
been present, people report an increase in talents and gifts and an
increase in intensity of energy. People had a sense that the Antari
had such a high energy, so loving, and felt that they (the Antari)
were on the level right next to God!
Realignment to Light Technology’ Realignment to light' is a light
technology that works with the Antari energy to align the light body
to the DNA. By harnessing the two distinct energies of the Antari, I
am able to weave the two opposite energy currents into a programme
that is downloaded straight into the DNA of the human body . This
programme re-structures the DNA, evolving it into a version of
itself that can hold an in-crease in energy. This allows for the
preparation of the light body to be layered upon the physical form.
It seems to be quite a complex procedure on the behalf of the Antari.
I have seen them many times operate with amazing precision, using
tools that can only be described as light instruments. They are the
master mechanics of the dimensional universe. They have the ability
to anchor into the body a new and improved version of itself, a
light body, a body that vibrates at the speed of light. I have seen
the light body transported in through a vortex of golden light into
the earth plane.
The Antari operate in a dimensional globe that looks very much like
an operating theatre. Whilst in this dimensional bubble, I have seen
etherically the Antari use light instruments to realign the
etherical matrix of the body to the light body blueprint.
I realise that these operations are only symbolic in nature. They
are occur-ring on a non-physical level. Yet I have seen quite
clearly how a client's etherical body is open and various implants,
light body fuses and such like are embedded into the etherical
blueprint. I have seen the welding of what look like wires together
in what look like amazing technological devices.
The Antari also clear blocks to their work, and can tone quite
amazing frequencies to clear the etherical counterpart of the body.
They use my body to channel their energy. I find that there are two
different energies traveling down my arms. One hand becomes the
conduit of a pulsing current of energy (the binary code of the DNA
programme), and the other is the instrument that enters the
etherical body and rewires it to anchor the light body blueprint.
find that I place one hand on the body in particular places, mainly
the head while the other hand directs the energy in. I move my hand
in quite intricate movements that direct the energy into a pattern
or programme that is then downloaded into the DNA. I find that their
energy is very fluid, and I have to move the body in a unique dance
pattern continually. It would be impossible to anchor their energies
into the earth plane with out this movement of the body. They
operate on a very high frequency and working with them can be very
ecstatic. They are very new to working on the earth plane.
There are many of us. You think there is only one version of you
that exists at one time. You are mistaken. There are many, many
forms, many bodies, and many stories to be told. You consider there
to be only one time, one life, and one existence. There are many
more. An image is the best way to describe to you these myriad
lives. Imagine a point in the centre with lines of energy radiating
from it in all directions. Each self experiences itself as the
centre, but, in truth, they are all the lines of force. Each self
experiences its own unique reality plane, planet, etc. Some selves
even consider themselves to be the one and only self, having no
conscious recognition of the other.
An angel once told me that I was to undergo a series of initiations
that would ground my true essential self into my physical body. This
self was composed of many different aspects. She told me that my
essential self was my Spirit manifesting itself into different
levels of reality. All aspects combined create 'the ONE', the
Each self or aspect introduced itself to me by using inner dialogue,
visual explanation, and, later, emotional recognition. After their
initial introduction, they would walk in and out of my body. Each
one would bring its own lessons and tests until on one final, grand
initiation that tested me to the full, my essential self integrated
as one within my physical body.
Since then I have been living as 'The One Being'. I can feel their
energies separate within me as well as feeling them as the one
combined form, Alloya Ye Ra Har. It is quite amazing! I can feel how
each self, each programme, is designing a new self within me. I am
not sure what this form will be like entirely, only that it is a new
self, a combined self, and a new reality.
It is very difficult to
write about myself in this way as it could be considered an ego
trip, and, yet, experiencing myself as this integrated self, I am
becoming the person I channel myself to be. If I look within me, I
can see a multitude of other selves, other beings, all focusing
through my physical body. It can be quite overwhelming. As separate
notes, they play a symphony within me, all expressing their unique
tones and harmonies.
Alloya says that I am an 'Integrated Undergraduate', an 'I-u', an 'I
and you', a complete integrated being. If you like, all these selves
within me are my subjects, the modules that I have to take in order
to graduate from this process and move on to the next one.
I am not talking about ascension. I have never really understood the
process of ascension. My understanding of what is going on is that
the dimensions are merging, becoming one, becoming one, true
reality. I am beginning to experience myself as multi-dimensional.
It is as if there are windows into each one of the soul aspects,
windows that I can peer into at any time that I am moved to do so.
For that is how it feels; it is as if I am moved by a being bigger
in intention than myself. I can feel the integration of the ego. The
ego is a place of habits, and, so, therefore, it still creates a
reaction to true reality that is doubtful and not entirely convinced
that this is really occurring. Yet other aspects of my-self are
totally convinced and having an amazing time.
Defining the lines,
separating my realities, is becoming more and more difficult as they
are organically evolving within me into something entirely new. It
feels that even they do not know what this Super Hybrid will be
like. For that is what I am becoming integrated energies within me
,unified energies and as this happens, I can feel the dimensions
within me merging, and also becoming one.
I say I do not know what it is that I am becoming but I do know. For
I have seen that new reality.
I have existed there if only for a
brief six days.
Back to Contents
New Planet experience
Whilst the process to integrate the selves occurred, I was
privileged to have an experience so incredible, that even today, I
find it hard to believe that I lived through such an experience. It
is difficult to really remember when in the process that this
occurred as the whole experience seemed to be out of my normal time.
It felt like it was completely out of time, that it was in the
future, the past, and the present all at once. I got the sense that
it was another dimensional reality entirely.
For sometime, I had considered giving up smoking. I thought it would
be too difficult and hadn't given it any really serious effort. One
afternoon in late March, I sat smoking a cigarette in my front room.
I thought to myself,
"Oh, I wish I could give up these things."
Alloya (Spirit) said,
"If you trust me and follow my guidance, I
will help you give up smoking and it will be a pleasurable
I could feel the intensity of her intention as it
seemed to ripple through my auric field.
"OK", I thought, "I will."
I then stubbed out the last of my cigarette.
Alloya explained to me that she would help with the nicotine
cravings. She said that every time I felt the awful craving, the
wanting in the pit of my stomach, I was to breathe in deeply and
fully and call her energy into my body, especially in the area of my
stomach. I was to let her energy take away the craving and the fear
that is a usual withdrawal symptom.
So, for the first evening, every time I got a craving, I took a deep
breath and called Alloya 's energy into my stomach. At first, all it
seemed to do was take away the craving, but as I did this more and
more, I noticed that I felt happier, more alive and energized. I was
very excited about what my life would look like without tobacco, but
there was something more. Some part of me was very excited and
apprehensive about something. At first I thought it was just the
giving up of tobacco, but, no, it was something much bigger. There
was a part of me that knew what I was heading for, and with any new
experience, there was excitement as well as fear. Something of
cosmic significance was about to happen. I could sense it building.
The first night passed without incident. I slept really lightly, and
awoke early in the morning around an hour before dawn. As the
morning light shone in through my curtains, I could literally feel
something happening to me. It is very difficult to describe it in
words. It was like an energy that was dormant in my body was waking
up. I felt really happy. This was not my usual state of being. It
wasn't a general feeling of well being but a feeling of pure
I dressed and began my day. I was aware that energy ran through my
body, intense, real. My body would occasionally go into fear as the
new energy entered it. My Spirit, Alloya, guided me to breathe and
move in various ways to integrate the energy. For the rest of the
day, I was amazed as I watched this energy journey through my
Alloya explained to me that energy from the highest dimension was
traveling through all the many layers of myself to anchor into the
planet. As the energy passed through each chakra, blocks to its path
would arise in order to be healed.
Now, I have experienced this type of healing before but this was
going on without my conscious direction. It was literally happening
to me without my control. I was aware of other lives and selves that
seemed to be connected to each of the chakras. Finally, at the end
of day, the energy entered my base chakra and anchored into the
ground. The experience was very intense and real. As the healing of
the base centre was completed, the energy subsided and the
experience came to a close. I felt back to normal again, back to my
usual state of consciousness. I went to bed only to get up some time
later after tossing and turning, unable to shut down my mind and
You could say that it was because I craved a cigarette that I could
not sleep, but it was something else. I felt that my consciousness
was elevating beyond anything I had ever experienced. I felt so
connected to my Spirit that I could hear her voice clearly and
loudly in my head. She explained to me that I was going to have an
incredible experience that I was going to another reality.
She explained to me in detail that I was entering a level of
consciousness that allowed me to move up in vibration. This
elevation would allow me to dwell, if only for a short time, in a
reality that was free of illusion and dense energies.
"You live in a
world of illusion, a world made up of belief systems. These belief
systems create your world," Alloya said. " You cannot see true
reality through the veils of illusion that permeate your dimension.
The space that you are now entering is free of illusion."
As I entered this new reality, this New Planet, I could literally
feel my negative belief systems as energy constructs leaving my
body. I felt so energized and healthy. I dressed and began my day.
My intuition was alive and very predominant. I could feel it
clearly, guiding me to eat certain foods and drinks to aid my body
in its detoxification.
All I could eat for the next seven days were pounds of bananas.
Alloya explained to me that bananas were not only very good at
aiding the body in its detoxification, but also held an energy that
was a comfort to the body whilst it raised its vibration. This made
sense to me, as bananas had been a comfort food to me when I was a
child. Alloya also explained that they contained high concentrations
of magnesium and potassium.
These minerals were brain food. I would
need these minerals to balance the chemical nature of the brain
whilst the pineal gland in the centre was activated at a very deep
level. Alloya explained to me that all humans were going to have
their pineal glands stimulated, pushing them into the next level of
development, aiding them to enter this new reality. I also drank
pints and pints of water, flushing out my system.
It wasn't like I chose to eat just bananas and to drink so much
water; my intuition demanded it. The energy of bananas was perfect
for me. If anyone sat next to me eating something like chocolate, I
would feel almost faint and nauseous. As soon as they moved away, I
was fine. It was as if my intuition was so loud and strong that I
could feel the rightness of the bananas and the wrongness of any
other food substance. It was as if my auric field was responding to
the energies of food. Anything that was not in harmony with me was
very obvious because of the symptoms I was experiencing.
The water helped flush out the nicotine from my system. As I sat
there, I could see clouds of yellow tobacco smoke leaving my aura.
Every time I felt the nicotine craving, I could see clouds of smoke
billowing around me. I asked others if they could see it, too, but
they said they could not. I could literally see the nicotine leaving
my energy body. My energy levels began to rise in intensity. With
every breath, I could feel fresh and cool energy entering my body.
The only way that I can describe it is as when you breathe in a
strong decongestant, it makes your face and nose feel cool and
tingly. This is how my whole body felt. I was so energized. I felt
so fit and strong, not only on a physical level, but on the other
levels too, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Breathing seemed so important. I seemed to be able to breathe in
much more air and energy than usual. You could say all of this was
because I had given up smoking. but I knew it was so much more than
that. This was the beginning of a spiritual experience. I breathed
deeper and deeper, filling my whole body with alive and intense
Prana, Life Force. Never had I felt the Life Force like this before.
I had studied Tai Chi and Yoga. Breathing exercises and their
affects were no stranger to me, but this was so much more powerful.
It was effortless! Even if I breathed shallowly, the prana seemed to
penetrate my body with such force that it began to become ecstatic.
I felt so alive. The energy was building. I felt like I did when I
first fell in love with my partner. Only this time I was falling in
love with myself. Every breath filled me with so much love that I
began to swoon.
There is something that I need to impress on the reader. This was no
ordinary experience. This was so powerful I found it very difficult
to accept that it was going on. All my life, I had searched for this
enlightenment, but always doubted that I could achieve such a state.
Yet, now, here I stood with Spirit rushing into my body. Usually I
had to meditate for some time to be able to hear Alloya's voice that
clearly, but now, her voice was constant and loud. Alloya guided me
through everything, what to do, why I was doing it and so on. I had
so many questions, some of a personal nature, some more of a cosmic
Alloya spent most of the second day talking to me, giving me
lectures almost on reality and the part I played in it. I saw how
reality was created and as the energy rose even more, my outside
reality began to reflect my inner.
The only draw back to this energy intensity was that it made me
slightly too energized. I could not sleep. This distressed me
somewhat. You see, I had the tendency to be an insomniac anyway,
staying awake for days. As you can imagine, it puts a strain on your
sense of well being. So, finding myself awake at four in the morning
was not so pleasant.
Something else was occurring that was very different to the
experiences of the daytime. Instead of being held in ecstasy, I was
beginning to experience fear, a strange fear, one not dissimilar to
the states I had experienced when I was an insomniac child, lying in
bed, unable to sleep, imagining monsters and the such like. I felt
like I was regressing back into a child-like state.
to me that when a higher energy enters the body, during an
experience such as this, codes in the body are activated and fear
comes to the conscious mind to be cleared. This was no ordinary
fear. I can remember saying to myself:
"It feels like there is
something out there. It is big and dark and is out to get me."
if I killed myself, it would still get me. There was nowhere to hide
from it. I felt like I was being tested by the dark forces.
mind, I was very aware that on higher levels there is no right and
wrong, good and bad. Evil and dark forces were to be honored and
loved, but in this paralyzing realm of fear, all my childish
nightmares came back to haunt me. I spent the entire night battling
with my evil, my darkness, my demons.
As you can imagine, I was very relieved to see the first rays of
sunlight coming through the gap in the curtains. Alloya came back to
me with such intensity that I gasped with surprise. She explained to
me that she hadn't left me alone during the night, but that I was
incapable of hearing her guidance clearly because of the fear I was
in. The fear had clouded my reception of her voice.
She went on to
explain that the so-called demons were real, and the dark forces had
sent them to me to test and tempt me, to challenge my perspective on
myself. They had wanted me to think I was insane, or that I was
experiencing some kind of mental breakdown, a psychosis. Yet even in
my most awful hours of torture, I knew without a shadow of a doubt
that what I was experiencing was real, true, and was a very
important spiritual experience. Alloya praised my fortitude and once
again I felt her love enter my body.
As the sun rose higher and higher in the sky and its rays shone into
my room, I became aware of the energy that it came with it. It
entered my body and I felt my vibration rise one level higher. I
could feel my pineal gland activating, and as it did so, the colors
changed. Color was absolutely incredible. It wasn't like a trip
where the colors are distorted and bleed into one an-other. They
were clear, sharp, and bright. It wasn't as though my vision had
changed like it does through the influence of drugs. It was like the
colors had become alive. They seemed to have an inner glow. As I
looked around my room, a vase of red roses grabbed my attention. The
energy of the color red was so powerful! I could feel it passing
into my body, activating the base chakra to which it belonged.
Alloya explained to me that colors have this affect on us all the
time, but in the veiled reality we live in, we are incapable of
seeing their true iridescence. I found that as I went about my
morning business, certain colors seemed to jump out at me. As I
went through the day, healing the various levels of my being,
certain colors would aid the healing. This was not a thought-out
process; it happened spontaneously and naturally.
As I looked at the color, I could feel its energy enter my body via
the relevant chakra. Alloya explained to me that I was now entering
a world of the most incredible beauty and that by paying attention
to the colors that were prominent in my reality, I could breathe
them in to my body and they would heal and raise my vibration.
To say I was obsessed with color was an understatement. Every
different color gave me a different sensation and feeling. Looking
around my home, finding as many different hues of color as I could,
I was amazed to see how the various color energies affected me.
Turquoise seemed to be my favorite. You see, all these energy
shifts were difficult for my body to integrate on its own.
I soon found a friend in turquoise. It soothed my body and made me
feel calm and safe. My energies were rising and I was beginning to
feel quite speedy. When I looked at my self in the mirror, I was
quite shocked at how different I looked. I was beautiful, radiant.
The pupils of my eyes were permanently enlarged and deep and glossy.
Other people started to comment on how I looked. Some thought I was
off my head.
Later that day, I walked through the park. As I turned the corner, I
came across a large bed of beautiful tulips, all of different shades
of red, yellow, and purple. I saw their beautiful colors, which
were enhanced by the strange inner glow. I could smell them. They
were very pungent and heady. Then, I heard them! I could actually
hear them singing the most amazing high-pitched melody. They seemed
to be enjoying the sunlight, basking in it.
For them, it was an
almost sensual experience.
"Wow!" I thought. "They are so beautiful."
The energetic response
that I got from those flowers was incredible. It was as if they
heard my appreciation of them and were repaying the compliment in
love energy. It literally rose above them, all their colors
swirling about in patterns. It flew towards me and enveloped me. My
knees went weak. I sank to the ground. Their energy entered my body.
I gasped for air. It was so ecstatic that I was beginning to swoon.
After some time, I rose to my feet, a little embarrassed, hoping
that no one saw me. They would think I was weird. As I got myself
together, I was amazed at what I could see. It is hard to explain.
It was as if the entire park had come alive. All the trees and
flowers seemed as if they were bodies, with arms and legs and
incredibly beautiful faces smiling at me. They were all smiling. I
could literally see the characters of all the plants around me. It
wasn't as if my eyes had distorted. I was not hallucinating.
was real. I was seeing with new eyes.
"This is incredible. It's as if I just have to shift my focus only a
faction of a degree and I can see it."
I thought to myself.
here always, just a change of focus. Change from a focus of fear, to
one of love," Alloya had said.
She was right. It had always been
here but I was so locked into fear, into the illusion, that I could
not see the incredible reality that I really do live in.
I spent the next few hours lying on the grass, breathing in the
various colors. They would envelop me and soak my body in their
frequency. Alloya explained to me that not only could I breathe in
the colors, but I could literally breathe in any energy. I would
look at a tree and breathe it in. The energy of the tree would
envelop and enter my body. It was totally mind blowing. I was
sensing completely how it was to be a tree. It was so beautiful.
was like a child, carefree and very happy, laughing at the amazing
things that were happening to me. I walked home along the seafront.
The sea was awesome. I could feel the energy of the sea in my body;
I could feel it ebbing and flowing within me. I could feel my
self-being the sea, the shore, and the love that went between them.
It was rather overpowering. You see, it was one thing imagining
these types of experiences happening; it is another entirely to be
actually physically experiencing them. It is one thing experiencing
this sort of thing momentarily; another experiencing it constantly.
My body was beginning to freak out. It was having a hard time
integrating the experience. I could hear my body consciousness
saying, "Wow, this is really going on. I am really in another
reality entirely. And it is real."
I had heard a lot about this new reality from my guides and other
sources, but nothing had prepared me for this experience. It was
just too incredible. Yet, it was real beyond any doubt. That was
what my body was having such a hard time with. It could not come up
with any logical reason for my experiencing this. Yet it was real
and definitely going on. Body was amazed if not dumbstruck, in awe.
Intuition guided me, or rather propelled me home. It was as though
there were a path preset for me to walk. It was as though there were
a force field, running like a stream. It would come from behind and
below me, enter my sacral centre, and pass out in front. It was like
surfing. I could feel the energy in my body. As long as I breathed
deeply and completely let go, I could surf this energy.
Effortlessly, I could walk really swiftly. I did not feel any of the
usual strain and discomfort you have in your limbs when pushing
yourself in walking hard.
Alloya explained to me that this was how my intuition should be all
the time. We usually experience momentary flashes of intuition,
guiding us to go places and do things. The rest of the time, we seem
to just float along and hope for the best. Alloya explained that it
should be a constant source of energy that guides your every action.
It was not hard to know when I was flowing with the intuition and
when I was not. The energy would drop off, just like missing the
wave and I would feel like I was stumbling in my action. As soon as
I relaxed, let go, and surrendered, there she was in all her glory,
the river of intuition, guiding my way home. This new talent,
intuition, was beginning to heighten my awareness of moving in
harmony with various energies. I could feel this river of intuition
moving my every movement. I could completely let go. It was as if I
were in a dream. In dreams, I used to sort of hope that I would fly
and I would. This was the same thing. I could run along the beach,
jumping large rocks at just the right time without looking where I
was placing my feet. I was divinely guided. I could not put a foot
All that day I had spent the time in nature. There was a part of me
that wanted to stay out in the elements, but I could feel intuition
guiding me home. My body which was beginning to show all the
symptoms of a scared rabbit needed nourishment and comfort. It was
all getting a bit far out for body. On a purely bodily level, I was
scared and confused. Nothing had prepared me for feeling energy so
powerfully in my body. I went home, ate my bananas and curled up
with my turquoise jumper.
In nature, in the elements, the whole world was alive and creative.
I did not expect the objects around my home to hold this energy,
too. Every ornament in my front room had its own personality. I was
amazed how each one held a story of its creation, purely on a
physical level, the consciousness of the materials that made it up
and the consciousness message that it held. Certain ones were
personal to me; others held energy unique to my partner. I spent all
that evening casually rearranging my ornaments, putting them in just
the right places so that the energy of the room was balanced.
ornaments acted like ritualistic implements. It is very difficult to
explain this, but it was like there were certain positions and
angles that my physical objects needed to be in, in order to be in
harmony, to influence the energy of the reality. Each object could
be used in a ritualistic sense, to heal, ground certain energies, or
act as focal points for contacting other dimensional beings.
When I finally placed, through intuitive guidance, the last ornament
and turned it to its right direction, it was as if I had opened a
door. It was a key to another level. My room, now in its right
configuration, acted like a control room on a spaceship. If I moved
to various areas and focused on differing objects, I could access
the different energies that the object represented. Each ornament
was like a transmitting and receiving device capable of receiving
and transmitting messages as frequency.
Again, unable to sleep, I spent the whole evening balancing my
house. It felt like, in a symbolic way, I was building my own
spaceship out of my house. I could see how I was building my very
Again, I want to impress upon the reader that this was
in no way a rationally thought out process. My intuition guided me
or rather moved me physically as if I were being controlled, but in
a loving way, to place my objects in just the right places.
As the sun passed beneath the horizon and darkness came on once
more, the demons returned. Once again, I fought the demons. I went
through level upon level of fear programming. I spent the whole
night curled up in a blanket with my teddy, fearing that the
darkness would take me away. Lots of belief systems came up to be
viewed and healed and released.
I was skinned alive. Layer upon layer of my psyche was ripped away,
exposing my vulnerability. It wasn't a fanciful thing. It felt very
real. I could see dark clouds enter my room and I could feel them
just as intensely as the energies of the flowers and trees. They
crept inside my body, showing me all the things I loathed about
myself. By day I was in heaven; by night I was in hell. There were
times in the darkest hours where the dark ones almost convinced me
that I was mad and what I was doing was evil.
This belief came from
way back in a past life when I was killed for speaking my truth. My
family had proclaimed that I was evil and was doing the devil's
work. They had put me to death. It was a hard fight to release all
my inner fears, fears that in this incarnation I did not even know I
had. With relief, dawn came. Alloya returned with the sun and the
demons paled in the light. It was such a contrast of realities, one
so tortured, the other just as painful because of its beauty.
Up until this point, I had spent much of my time on my own. I was so
absorbed into what I was experiencing that I hadn't paid much
attention to any other person. My partner was a little concerned
about the fact that I could not sleep and said my eyes were rather
paler in color and I seemed a little hyper. That is all he saw. If
only he knew. I began to try and explain what was going on for me.
Wow! That was a bad move. All of the energy went funny. I felt sick
and he looked annoyed with me. Then, I could not believe what
I thought to myself,
"Does he know what is going on?
Is he experiencing this, too? Is he asleep and am I awake?"
looked at me and said,
"Not all of us experience the same thing.
There are two perspectives here."
This immediately made sense to me. There were two realities, two
perspectives here. One was of the ego and its awareness of reality
in all its simplicity. And one was of soul, all knowing and divinely
intelligent. It was so amazing because he or rather his ego was
talking to a chat show host on the telly and wasn't really
addressing me, but his words were as if they were directly from
soul. He even looked like soul. I could see it looking out of his
eyes. They were so deep and glossy. He had this really knowing look
on his face. I expected him to wink any minute. I was so surprised I
nearly squealed with delight and excitement.
" God, you are incredible! How did you know to say that? Are
you experiencing this, too? "
Greg's ego said, confused and annoyed,
"You what? What you on about? You need some sleep, you do. "
Alloya explained that ego was body orientated and very connected to
the rational and the third dimension. If I talked out loud, ego
heard and basically didn't have a clue as to what I was talking
about. She explained that if I wanted to talk to ego, I was to talk
out loud. If I wanted to talk to soul, I was to speak in the head
"Try it," she said.
So I did. I asked certain questions in my head and the next thing he
said answered them so profoundly that it was so hard to keep a
straight face and not laugh and give the game away. So I started to
via the conversation into spiritual discussions, giving his ego and
rational mind a logical reason as to why he was talking in such a
It worked perfectly. It became a game between his soul and me. I
would ask riskier and riskier questions and have to sit there and
look at his mischievous soul whilst he answered through his
unsuspecting ego. Wow, what a hoot! It was cosmically hysterical. I
spent the whole morning getting to know or rather re-getting to know
his soul and mine. He told me all about the journey we both had
together and apart. He confirmed all suspicions about past lives
together as I viewed them on a etherical TV. screen that seemed to
appear to the right of my vision. It was there to show me visual
images that further described the information being communicated .
Over the next few hours until sundown, many of my friends came to
visit, as it now was the weekend. Several of them commented about my
energy and how wonderful it felt in my home. I could see how their
energy interacted with each other and felt my spiritual, soul
connections with each one. It was an amazing day if a little trying.
It was very difficult to,
assimilate all the information which
came to me via their souls, via their unknowing egos
all the energy shifts that occurred in a healing capacity between
myself and others
experience all this and still make tea and
on an ego, third dimensional level, act as if nothing out of the
ordinary was going on
As the night drew in, I was tired and scared. I began to feel really
freaked out. I needed to sleep.
The thought of going through another
sleepless night, fighting the dark forces was almost too frightening
to even think of. I was becoming confused. Maybe I was mad. If you
stop and think about it, I was showing all the signs of a psychotic
episode. My body was doing some very strange things. I would shake
and could literally feel lumps of fear in my etherical body. It
would writhe throughout me, making me feel sick.
brewing; I could feel it. It felt like I was in very dark space, a
place where no light had ever been. Can you imagine such a place, a
place so dark, so black, so completely devoid of light. I had got to
the very core of my darkness. This was way beyond hell. I was so
cold with fear. It was amazing. Two realities. One where I am
sitting at home; another where I am in the very realms of death.
Stumbling, feeling out to find my way. The only thing to guide me
was trust in myself and in the light, Alloya. I knew that some-how I
had to do this alone. It was as if I were in an enormous dark
cavern, cold and black. This was the densest reality there was, the
home of the darkest fear and death. It was a test. I could feel
that. I could feel, on the outer edges of the experience, angels
watching me, waiting in anticipation to see what I would do. Would I
pass the test?
This is going to sound crazy. And I don't mean this on an ego level
at all as I do understand that what I experienced was symbolic. I
was taking the light, the light of truth into the darkest place in
the universe. I was taking the light that had been downloaded to me
via the sun in the daytime, taking that light to the densest place,
the home of Lucifer. Now I don't want to get all Bible-y on you, as
it was my only way of understanding what was going on. I knew the
story of Lucifer and Alloya used the stories I already knew to aid
me in my understanding because I needed to understand and understand
quickly. He was coming.
I can't say that I physically saw him; I didn't need to. Feeling him
was quite enough. The fear was impressive. My body shook and I
involuntarily made this strange pining sound like an animal does
when it's really scared and I couldn't stop making the sound. He
filled the entire room. It felt like I was going to die which was
scary in itself, but what was more scary was that without the
beliefs of my body that said this was delusional, I feared that
Lucifer would devour me.
There is a well known saying that when you
are at the bottom of the pit that is when you find God. I was on the
edge like I had never been before. This was one hell of a test. It
felt like not only did my life depend on my success, but
symbolically the success of New Planet Reality becoming real for
everyone in the future was on my shoulders. Near to annihilation was
how it felt. I had no where left to turn. I had to face him. So,
face him I did.
The most incredible thing happened. I saw him as God. It was so
simple. If everything is God, then so is fear. I felt the love. It
was pure, mine, mine to give, my divinity. Not only did my soul face
and love its enemy, but so, too, did my ego. We embraced lovingly on
an energetic level. I had succeeded. Alloya explained to me that I
had anchored the light into the darkness and now, in time, New
Planet Reality would manifest for all.
The process complete, the
angels began to sing. I could hear them. The sun of another day rose
in the sky. I had a new vigor that came with my success. I could
feel this incredible power entering my body. Light filled my body. I
spent the next few days walking in nature. It was a beautiful. The
springtime sunlight was bright and intense. Everywhere I went, I
could read the story of the landscape. Everywhere held energetic
stories of things that have gone on there before, not only in the
third dimension and history, but on all the other levels, too.
I was experiencing myself as God, an intrinsic part of all creation.
I could feel the consciousness of all the elements around me moving
through my body. The awareness of my aura grew and grew. I stood at
the sea-edge, feeling my aura growing so large that it was starting
to incorporate the entire planet. It was at that moment that I
When I came to on the beach, Alloya said,
"It is time to
go home and to sleep."
I went home and later that night I took a
sleeping tablet. You may ask why I didn't take one before. I
couldn't allow it in my aura. Now, at the right time, it was
appropriate and finally I fell asleep after six days of no sleep
I awoke the next day; a little worried it would all be over. I
needn't have worried. The colors were still vibrant and alive.
Alloya explained to me how I was God and created all that I could
experience, even the people in my life. She showed me in no
uncertain terms just how powerfully we create our reality. Without
the restrictions of time in this dimension, manifestation was
I thought whilst walking on the beach with a friend,
"I feel so
overly sensitive today. The worst thing that could happen now is if
a gang of football hooligans were to come round the corner. I think
I would pass out."
Just as I said it, this gang of about six boys
all in football kit, kicking a can, singing football songs came
around the corner. Both my friend and I looked on in on in
"You made that happen," said my friend.
This was getting
to be a big responsibility. I needed to go home and sleep some more.
I was really feeling the strain on my body.
Alloya explained to me that I would, over the next few days, come
down in vibration to re-enter the reality from whence I came. That I
would forget I was God. That it didn't matter because I would have
grounded the blue-print of New Planet Reality into the potent soil
of Gaia, Mother Earth. I can remember laughing, thinking it would be
fun to go back and pretend I was not God anymore.
For the next three years, I had to integrate the experience. It was
incredibly painful on many levels. I thought I had gone mad but the
truth monster would not allow me to settle with that. It felt so
untrue. It was a spiritual experience. I knew it without a shadow of
a doubt and that hurt. It hurt because I was not in that reality
anymore. I cannot begin to tell you how painful it was for me.
were times when I considered taking my own life. When you take an
experience or rather an energy so high and powerful such as I had
done into your body, you cannot expect anything less than what I
went on to experience, great pain, great sorrow, great loss and a
great yearning to go Home.
For I am not from this planet or any other like it. I am from a
dimension that does not even exist in our referencing. So to be in
that reality and to be brought back into a denser reality was very
distressing for me. However, now as I look back, I can now see how
all the pain was a necessary healing and integration process. I am
beginning to see how I never really left New Planet Reality but
integrated it into a denser form. I am waking up in the densest
dimension. Spirit in physical form.
As Alloya Ye Ra Har I am here and here is where 'I AM.' Many of you
are experiencing beings outside of yourselves that you consider
higher in form to you and in need of your worship. You do not need
to worship aspects of yourself. Do you understand the nature of your
reality? It symbolically represents energies in physical form. When
you encounter beings from other realms, they are only other aspects
of yourself. As the dimensions merge within your physical form, you
will experience yourself as these beings.
For on the other levels,
we are all ONE.
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