Q: I'm very concerned about the
New World Order scheme and my
questions are meant to help me find possible ways to proceed in
helping to defeat the scheme.
A: I know I sound cynical, but good luck! I really do wish you the
best in this. I believe that it would take a LOT of people joining
together, with immense wealth and excellent lawyers, to stop them.
I personally do not have any experience with any groups dedicated to
stopping them, since I live in a small rural community and have no
contacts of this nature. I do wish any groups dedicated to stopping
this horrific abuse of small children the very best, and will pray
that they succeed. But this is also a spiritual battle, and anyone
who takes on this type of occult evil would also need to be aware of
spiritual warfare. The Illuminists certainly use it against others,
and anyone stepping into this arena without prayer would be very
vulnerable, in my opinion.
Q: Have you considered starting a 12 step group like AA for ritual
abusers and cult victims? I know from personal experience that the
spiritual 12 step program works.
A: I believe that there are already groups such as this out there. I
know that there are AA groups for incest survivors, and many also
have branched off into RA [Ritual Abuse] support as well. Since I
live in a rural area (population 100 unless you count the squirrels
and cows), I would not be close enough to lead any groups such as
this. They are usually found near large metropolitan areas. In fact,
I drive two hours once a month to therapy, since that is the closest
to where I live.
Q: Were you allowed to read and listen to what you wanted while you
were in the Illuminati, or was everything censored? If it wasn't
censored, it seems like members could notice that Illuminati
teachings about betrayal being a human attribute are false. Right?
A: Wrong. I was never censored what I read, but you have to
understand their mind set. As a small child, my parents told me that
everyone was secretly a member of this group, and that the daytime
was a "facade" or "pretense' that all maintain.
They would take me to friends' houses for dinner, and afterwards a
ritual would occur, so I believed them. I grew up since infancy
believing that this was just how the world operated for all: people
act one way in the daytime, another at night. I knew that there was
mention of love, caring, and trust in books, but believed it was a
"daytime" quality, and that the people who wrote of these things
were writing from their daytime personas.
There was a complete and utter division between day and night from
my first days of life. To question something, you have to be able to
step outside it, and I never had the maturity, or any reason to
question the teachings, until I was much older. Think about it. All
around were movies reinforcing what the cult taught, the Disney
films, etc; I listened to heavy metal groups, whose values echoed
what I was taught at night. In fact, outside of Christian
literature, there is not much out there that would engender trust in
other human beings.
Q: I was shocked to hear you say you were forced to shoot a friend
of yours. Are many members forced to shoot or kill someone, or is
this just for punishment training? Is it just outsiders who are
killed? Are you able to discuss the shooting, or is this too hard to
A: The friend was not an outsider, she was part of the group, and
considered expendable. In this group, people are one of two things:
"useful" or "expendable". Everyone works quite hard to be useful. It
is not a common punishment, in fact rare, but my mother was an
unusually driven and ambitious person.
She was a head trainer, and sat on the regional council over the
Washington DC area in the spiritual seat (the other seats on the
council were military, held by her boss at the Pentagon, where she
worked, his cult name was "Ashtoth", a government seat, leadership,
scholarship, and sciences seats).
Usually, they bring in outsiders for rituals or killing, but this
was an unusually harsh punishment to teach me an unforgettable
lesson (it did: I never made a friend after that. I didn't like
those higher than me, and had no wish to make friends with those she
considered "worthy" of a "leader" and other nonsense).
Very rarely, in military exercises, those who were weak or kept a
unit behind consistently were shot to teach the others a lesson (I
saw it happen once). This never happened to the children of leaders,
only those from lower levels.
Q: You say you begged God for a better home every night, but became
embittered against God for not providing it. Were you praying to a
benevolent God or to the Illuminati god? If the former, then where
did you get your idea of a benevolent God?
A: This is a great question. I was NOT praying to the Illuminati
deities, because to me, they were cruel and sadistic and
frightening. I was praying to my child's concept of a good God, from
my reading, watching of TV, and also the innate knowledge that all
children have in their hearts that somewhere, up there, is a good
I also had a few experiences with angels, and being protected as a
child during horrendous trauma, and this also formed my concept that
good existed. They never actually tried to stop me from praying,
since positive spirituality gives hope, and can help prevent
In fact, I was forbidden to read about or seek any knowledge about
the occult in my day life, because otherwise too much would be given
to the occult and the risk of suicide would have increased. They are
believers in "balance', even in this area.
Q: You said "Papa Brogan" [see previous article] was the only kind
adult in your life growing up. Do you mean he showed you affection?
In what way?
A: Dr. Timothy Brogan was a professor at
University. He was a specialist in neuropsychology, and one of the
top Illuminati trainers in the DC area. He was also close friends
with Sidney Gottlieb (another of my mother's "friends").
Anyway, he could be very kind as well as cruel. He would hold me on
his lap, call me his "little one", and praised me highly when I did
well. He taught me chess, and would read works of literature to me.
He told me I was his "adopted daughter" and that he was proud of me.
We would hold intellectual discussions until late at night, and he
imparted his views of leadership and training to me. Not all
Illuminati activity is cruel or inhumane; he could be caring and
loving as well. I would play with his children, who were older than
me, and he would patiently answer my questions about science,
geography, and other topics. I bonded completely to him, which made
the torture and sexual abuse especially painful and betraying.
Q: You say you had a core split, over 7,000 fragments and 16
internal systems. You mean you developed split personalities who
weren't aware of each other? If so, did any of these personalities
seem to have a fairly nice life?
A: Yep, split personalities. Most of the people I knew in
Illuminati were fairly fragmented (in fact, I cannot think of anyone
who was not dissociative to some degree). Even the local and
regional leaders all come in for regular "programming tune ups" as
Jonathan and I used to call them. The largest split was between the
front and back; ie. daily life and night life. Most, but not all, of
the night alters could communicate, or at least the controllers and
the higher parts inside could (and relay information to those
beneath them). And yes, many of my personalities had a wonderful
life. I had 140 created to deal with daytime life, such as work,
friends, and fun (who have coalesced).
Many of my back people had good experiences, such as the ones I
described above with Dr. Brogan. Others were pampered and praised,
told that I would be a leader in the coming "New Order'' (of course,
they tell everyone that....). I was to be a mediator between
governmental figures in different nations because of my language
abilities and people mediation skills. Many of my internal parts
were quite proud of their abilities and accomplishments in the
group, and grieved heavily when I left.
Q: Are the non-German Illuminists not Nazis, racist white
supremacists, or genocidal maniacs? And, if the leadership in all
countries is Illuminati, that must mean they're of all races, which
seems to mean the white supremacists oppose the non-white
Illuminati. Is this right?
A: Not all Illuminist groups are as fanatically anti-racial as
German branch is, although many are. These people are racist in the
extreme, but they are also very practical, and realize that world
domination is not possible without the aid of non-white races. That
is why loyal figures in these countries are being promised
leadership positions for their area, under the supervision of
They also view Orientals differently than other nonwhite races,
because of the long history of occult mysticism in many countries
(such as Tibet, for example), the long history of culture, and the
high intelligence. This is why the oriental branches are highly
regarded, even in Europe. But they do believe that Europe will be
the center of world government and leadership.
Even in non-white countries, the top leadership is still
nearly so. For example, in South America, the top leaders are
European in descent, with less of the mestizo mixing. In
many of the leaders behind the scenes are whites, although there are
local black leaders who have demonstrated extreme loyalty. They are
using them, though, since these members will never be able to hold
top leadership in the world. (Those positions are already taken).
All this said, I believe that the racist and hateful policies of
Illuminati are despicable in the extreme. One of my biggest quarrels
with leadership was this position, among others. I hope this has
answered some of your questions.