Dear Mr. Springer,
Thank you for contacting me. Actually, I just received a somewhat
skeptical email today from someone who read the information at your
I would be more than happy to answer questions about validity, etc.
with the following provision. I write under a pen name to protect my
two children and husband, whom I do not want to have receiving
hostile or threatening phone calls, etc. My two children are still
healing from the experiences of being raised in the group as well,
and I don't want any experiences that could traumatize them.
The topic I am addressing is somewhat volatile, to say the least.
People have strong emotions pro and con as to whether the Illuminati
are real. That said, I will give you a little background info, feel
free to share this with readers. Also, my column at Suite101.com (I
have a column on ritual abuse; do a search on 'svali') has numerous
articles on this topic if people want to learn more.
1. I was born in 1957 in
Alexandria, Virginia. I lived briefly in a
small town about an hour away from Washington, DC, then moved to a
500 acre farm in northern Virginia when my mother married my
stepfather. Both my mother and my stepfather were members of this
group. It is a very generational group. My mother sat on the
regional council over the Washington, DC area and was in the
"spiritual chair" (the Illuminati have 6 chairs on their
masters council: Sciences, Government, Leadership, Scholarship,
Spiritual, and Military.)
These also correlate to the areas that children are taught growing
up in this group. They believe in "well rounded" children. The
"spiritual" rituals, or occult rituals, were only one small part of
the teaching of this group, the other five areas are also equally
emphasized. I spent more time learning history, languages, and
sciences than I did seeing rituals, although they were important to
2. I went to school in
Charlottesville, Va. 1975 to 1981, where I
received a BSN in nursing, and a BA in Spanish ( I got two degrees).
This is also a place where a lot of intense abuse and occultic
crimes occurred, on an estate about 10 miles south west of
Charlottesville going towards Crowley, Virginia.
3. After graduation, I went to
San Diego in 1981 ( I was called
there by the leadership there, they were strong in military training
but weak in sciences, which was my forte). I came and sat on
leadership council, I was the sixth head trainer there (the lowest
head trainer) and had 30 trainers in the local groups reporting to
me. Leadership council met in Ramona, Ca. on an estate there that
belonged to a man named Jonathan Meiers.
When I went to the police in 1996 (after I had left the group) sure
enough, there was an estate there belonging to someone with that
name. One of his cult names was "Black Hand" because he wore black
gloves when he worked with people. He was the head trainer in the
group, and one of the most sadistic and brutal people I ever knew.
He burned out most of the trainers that worked with him, and I made
it because I had a friend on leadership council who hated him and
helped me undermine him (the Illuminati are a very political and
back stabbing group, a "dog eat dog" mentality; everyone wants to
move up ). Her cult name was Athena.
After years (12) of working with
Jonathan, I moved up to the second
head trainer position in the county. Jonathan was getting ready to
move to regional, and he wanted me to take his place. But he and I
also despised each other, and he set me up to take a fall. That's a
whole different story, and was one of the factors that made me leave
I left the group in 1995, sick of the lying, deceiving, and
politics, and fearful for my life. I fled to Texas, and went through
therapy with Dr. Jerry Mundgaze and his group. But unfortunately,
they didn't know how to help "deprogram me", or as
Dr. Mundgaze told
me, "you are higher than almost anyone we have seen, and more
I remembered so much, and he had never heard of it and had no idea
how to help (definitely no suggesting of memories there, most of
mine occurred spontaneously, AT HOME. I have never been hypnotized
or age regressed, all of my memories have occurred in the course of
I spent a year intensely deprogramming myself. I was a head
programmer, or trainer, so I used my knowledge to undo what was done
to me. I also became enraged as I realized that the abuse I had
endured (and done to others) was NOT normal, was used to manipulate
My book is based on my memories as an
ADULT in this group. I was a
perpetrator, and I now regret it considerably. It is my restitution
before God as I expose what this group does and stands for. I also
wrote it for therapists, to help them understand the group and its
methodologies, since it was so difficult to hear from a nationally
known ritual abuse center, "we don't know what to do...". I based it
on what I did to heal.
Two years ago, my children were on visitation with me and disclosed
their abuse to me. I went to CPS, and the case was closed, because
the worker said she didn't believe in ritual abuse! My ex came to
get the children (he could have put me in federal prison for not
giving the children back, since the San Diego court system blatantly
states that they do not believe in ritual abuse, and in EVERY case
of alleged RA, the children are given to the allegedly abusing
The children confronted him in person. He turned white as a sheet,
said, "you really don't want to go back to "family", they said "no".
He then fled to California, quit his job, and moved out here and is
in therapy for RA and DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).
My children are also in therapy, and healing rapidly. My now 12 year
old son is almost completely integrated, and happier than he has
ever been before; my 16 year old daughter has some tough issues to
face, such as the sexual abuse she endured. But God has been
faithful in His healing work in all of our lives.
I wish that this was just "made up". That it weren't real. But it
is. There is too much documentation of this occurring (I can send
you an URL for documented convicted RA cases). My greatest regret is
that I was used by this group, after a lifetime of teaching, to be a
perpetrator of the worst kind. I used to torture and abuse others,
believing that I was "helping" them.
Now, I realize that what I did was wrong, I have asked God's
forgiveness. And am committed to exposing this group through my
writing. I am also a professional writer in the medical field, was a
registered nurse for 18+ years, and currently work as an ESL
teacher, health educator, and freelance author (on non-abuse
I hope this is enough background info, it is the truth before God
and men. If you need any other, that won't compromise my anonymity
or my children's protection, please let me know.
PS. My younger sister remembers being tied up on a stone altar at
the age of 3, with a gag in her mouth, and being raped. She also
remembers our paternal grandmother taking her to friends, who used
her sexually at the ages of 3 to 5.
She became an alcoholic at age 13, after trying to commit suicide 7
times by age 12. My older brother has NO memories of ANYTHING AT ALL
before age 20, his life is a complete blank. He does believe that
our father was a perverse and strange man. This brother was cut down
from our garage when he was 8, and tried to hang himself.
My oldest brother is on the run, afraid to live anywhere for more
than a few months, because he believes they want to "get him." He
also tried to commit suicide many times as a young child. This is
somewhat corroborating evidence, as well as the fact that both of my
children dream in German at night (that is the language they speak
in the Illuminati) and have NEVER heard it in the daytime.