The Law Of One

Book V
Personal Material
by Ra

An Humble Messenger Of The Law Of One
Fragments Omitted From The First Four Books

With Commentary ByJim McCarty And Carla L. Rueckert


Jim A. McCarty: The material in this book was withheld from publication in the first four books of THE LAW OF ONE series because it is predominantly of a personal nature, and it was our feeling that, if this material were published, it would be too easy for readers to become overly interested in the personalities behind this information, rather than focusing on the information itself. It is now our hope that, by a written effort, we may be able to use this same personal information to illustrate the general application of this material to all seekers of truth. We are certain that this information has general application to people like you because we are people just like you, with the same range of human emotions, the same strengths and weaknesses, and the same desire to know what is loosely called the truth.

The death of Don Elkins, questioner for the Ra contacts, in November of 1984, marked the end of the Ra contact because it was the harmony between the three of us which was the primary factor that allowed those of Ra to speak through our group. The publication of this personal information, obtained through that contact, does not necessarily mean that we shall never attain that contact again, although our present thinking is that there is a very good chance that that portion of our service may indeed be complete. It is our opinion that in order to be of the most appropriate service we must simply desire to serve without any conditions put on that desire. It was with that simple desire that we joined as a group at the end of 1980, and within three weeks we were amazed to be part of what developed into the Ra contact.


We do not consciously seek a third person with which to attempt to reestablish contact with those of Ra because that would not be a full surrender of our will to the Greater Will and would be, rather, the imposition of our lesser and more distorted wills upon what is most appropriate for us as a way of being of service to others. We do not believe that there are any mistakes in any seeker’s experience, and we are fairly good at taking hints. The fact that Don Elkins is dead may well mean that the Ra contact is complete. Whatever the case may actually be it now feels like the appropriate time to share the last of the information which we have as a fruit of the contact with those of Ra with people who, like us, would like to read whatever Ra might have to say on any subject and use that speaking as catalyst for personal evolution.

Since the personal material comes from many of the 106 sessions that we completed during the Ra contact it suffers from being quite disjointed. Through our written words we hope to be able to fashion a reasonably coherent fabric of our experiences into which each of the personal segments of the Ra contact may fit. Even the best of what we may write and share with you is mere human opinion. We are quite fallible and do not wish to place any stumbling block in your path, so please disregard any words that do not sound right to you. Use only those which ring true for you.

Carla L. Rueckert: Jim has taken the task of describing to you the circumstances in which each fragment was collected. My part is to add my viewpoint, on many subjects but perhaps most importantly on Don and me, which Jim has no way to address, as he did not know either of us until just three years before the contact with those of Ra. I echo Jim’s feeling that it is time for the final bits of this contact to be shared. Those who have enjoyed Ra’s thoughts will continue to appreciate the bon mots they are so good at giving us. We at L/L can sigh with relief now and say, yes, this is ALL of the material. There ain’t no more! And without a doubt, the reader will see from these bits of our lives that we are just as foolish as the rest of humankind, and are not to be confused with the source of these channelings. This I count a valuable thing.

It has been the greatest privilege and the greatest challenge of my life to have had the care and feeding of Donald Elkins for the last 16 years of his life. Never have two people loved more deeply, yet Don’s need to remain aloof was such that none of his feelings were ever displayed to me, and this was my catalyst to work with. I treasured and cherished this dear man the very best I knew how, and honor him as the only truly great man I have ever personally met. It was his driving intellect that first posed the questions that the Ra contact answered. It was he who had the vision of living as a spiritual family rather than a nuclear one. Jim and I are very fortunate to have had such a man as our leader and off times our teacher. And I have been blessed with a pure and faithful romance with a soul mate that means all to me. As you enjoy this last part of a contact that will likely never come again, just rejoice that Don Elkins lived and served among us wanderers with such devotion and light.

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RA, Fragment 1 - Session 1, January 15, 1981

Jim: The beginning of Session 1 appears here precisely as it was received. In our first private printing of Book One of The Law Of One we omitted a portion of this first session because Don felt that, compared with the other twenty-five sessions of Book One, it was anomalistic—and perhaps too confusing as such—for first-time readers. That omission was reproduced when the mass market edition was printed by The Donning Company under the title of The Ra Material.

This is the only session in which Ra delivered anything close to what Brad Steiger has called a “cosmic sermonette” before beginning with the question and answer format that was used exclusively throughout the remainder of the Ra contact. Ra preferred the question and answer format because it allowed our free will to decide what information we would seek rather than their determining that choice for us by using the lecture method of teach/learning.

And it was interesting to us that Ra mentioned in this first session that they were not able to offer any “conditioning” to any instrument due their own transmitting limitations. This conditioning often involves seemingly involuntary movement of some part of the vocal cords, mouth, lip, jaw, or some other physiological sensation which the one serving as instrument identifies with the approach of the contact. This session also marks the last time that Ra ever attempted to speak through any instrument other than Carla.

Since the channeling phenomenon has become so commonplace we would like to make an additional comment on the conditioning vibration. Many who serve as instruments feel that they recognize the entities who speak through them by the conditioning vibration and need no other identification to be sure that they are channeling whom they think they are channeling. We have found that this is not always so because negative entities of the same relative vibration will feel just like the familiar positive entity to the one serving as instrument when the negative entity wishes to call itself by another name and mimic the positive entity as a part of the process of tricking the instrument and then detuning the positive work done by the group receiving its information. This is standard procedure for those of the path of service to self. The fundamental concept involved is that the opportunity for positive entities to speak through instruments and groups must be balanced by the same opportunity being offered to negative entities. This need not be a difficulty for any instrument, however, if it and its support group utilizes the twin processes of tuning the group and challenging the contact each time channeling occurs.

Tuning the group is the process whereby each individual in the group refines the desire to serve others and puts it first and foremost in the mind and heart. The group may accomplish this tuning by any method which has meaning to each within the group whether that be by singing sacred songs, chanting, praying, telling jokes, sharing information, visualizing light surrounding the group, or whatever blends each present into one unified source of seeking.

Then when the instrument feels the entities which wish to channel through it are present the challenge is mentally given, again in whatever way that feels appropriate to the instrument and in whatever way that the instrument can get behind with every fiber of its being. The instrument will demand to know if the entities wishing to channel through it come in the name of whatever principle the instrument feels is the highest and best in its own life. One may challenge the entity wishing to speak in the name of Jesus the Christ, the Christ consciousness, the positive polarity, service to others or in the name of one of the archangels or in whatever represents the center of one’s life, that for which the instrument lives and would gladly die. This forms a wall of light through which an entity of negative polarity has as much trouble passing through as you and I would discover with a solid brick wall.

Negative entities stand ready to fill in any lapse of care in this regard with their offering of service in their own way; that is, mimicking the positive contact only as much as necessary to maintain the channel and then giving false information whenever possible, usually having to do with dates and descriptions of upcoming cataclysmic earth changes which, when made public by the group receiving such information makes the group lose credibility since the dates are never correct. Thus the negative entity takes the spiritual strength of the light which the group had been able to share in service-to-others work.

Carla used this method of challenging Ra for the first two sessions. This was and is her normal method, as she usually does conscious channeling. But in the Ra contact she involuntarily went into trance, and could not tune in that way, so we were glad when, at the end of the second session, Ra gave us the ritual of walking the Circle of One to replace the challenging procedure used in telepathic channeling since in all sessions after the first two Carla was immediately in the trance state, out of her body, and unaware of any activity whatsoever. None of us ever discovered how she was able to accomplish this trance state and the leaving of her body. It was apparently a pre-incarnatively chosen ability chosen to aid in the contact with Ra. Our meditation before each session was our group process of tuning.

We used what Don called “tuned trance telepathy” to communicate with those of Ra. This is to say that while the contact was ongoing neither Carla nor those of Ra inhabited Carla’s body. Carla’s spirit was apparently in the care of those of Ra while Ra used Carla’s body from a distance to form the words that responded to Don’s questions. Ra mentioned many times that they had only the grossest control over her body and had difficulty, for example, in repositioning her hands when one of them was experiencing pain flares due to her arthritic condition. Carla could not feel these pain flares, but repositioning them was sometimes necessary since the pain was like static on the line. This occurred only occasionally and was always noted in the text.

Don and Carla had been working together for twelve years channeling, researching, and had written two books in the area of metaphysics before I joined them in December of 1980. Unsure of what to do as the first project together, we considered re-writing one of those books, Secrets Of The UFO, and I had begun background reading and taking notes. Three weeks later the first Ra contact occurred and was totally unexpected. It happened when Carla was conducting a teaching session in which one of the Sunday meditation group members was learning how to channel. Don sat in on the session, but I was out shopping and happened to walk in through the front door loaded with sacks of groceries just as Don was asking about the earth changes that were anticipated at the end of this cycle of growth. At that point Ra requested a moment to deepen Carla’s trance state before continuing. Such an interruption never happened again because after the second session we prepared another room especially for the Ra contact and continued to use the living room for all other meditations and teaching sessions. This first session is one of only four of the total 106 sessions with Ra in which anyone besides Don, Carla, and I attended. Since the three of us lived together the harmony that we developed between us was very stable and was a critical ingredient in establishing and maintaining the contact.

Carla: These days, I am teaching very few people to channel. Through the years, I have seen the kind of havoc an opened and untuned channel can wreak in the personality of the seeker who channels just for a while, or just for the fun of it. The basic problem with channeling tends to be that the channel needs to be actively attempting to live the message she is receiving. In spiritual work, no one has the luxury of saying “Do as I say, not as I do.” If we do not embody the principles we offer to others, we receive often dramatic and life-shaking catalyst that points up the divergence of ideals from true intention. I have seen people lose their sanity when carelessly involved with channeling. So I take the responsibility of taking students very, very seriously. For the most part, I now work with people who come to me already channeling, and having difficulties with that. This has involved me with people being moved around the world by signals from Indians, UFO contactees with strange stories, and all manner of diverse folks who are in some way at risk in the “new age” sea of confusion. The phrase “spiritual counselor” has a smug, know-it-all feeling to it, which I hope I do not reflect, but it’s pretty much what I am doing these days. Perhaps “spiritual listener” is more accurate. With e-mail there has come a wider opportunity to relate with seekers personally. We welcome anyone’s communication here at L/L Research, and have never failed to answer any mail sent to us, so please feel free to address questions to us. We’re delighted to help in any way we can.


Session 1, January 15, 1981

Ra: I am Ra. I have not spoken through this instrument before. We had to wait until she was precisely tuned as we send a narrow band vibration. We greet you in the love and in the light of our infinite Creator.
We have watched your group. We have been called to your group, for you have a need for the diversity of experiences in channeling which go with a more intensive, or as you might call it, advanced, approach to the system of studying the pattern of illusions of your body, your mind, and your spirit, which you call seeking the truth. We hope to offer you a somewhat different slant upon the information which is always and ever the same.
The Confederation of Planets in the Service of the infinite Creator has only one important statement. That statement, my friends, as you know, is that all things, all life, all of the creation is part of one original thought.
We will exercise each channel if we are able to. The reception of our beam is a somewhat more advanced feat than some of the more broad vibration channels opened by other members for more introductory and intermediate work.
Let us for a moment consider thought. What is it, my friends, to take thought? Took you then thought today? What thoughts did you think today? What thoughts were part of the original thought today? In how many of your thoughts did the creation lie? Was love contained? And was service freely given? You are not part of a material universe. You move your body, your mind, and your spirit in somewhat eccentric patterns for you have not completely grasped the concept that you are part of the original thought.
We would at this time transfer to the instrument known as Don. I am Ra.

Ra: I am Ra. I am again with this instrument. We are close to initiating a contact but we are having difficulty penetrating a certain mental tension and distraction that are somewhat characteristic of this channel. We will therefore describe the type of vibration which is being sent. The instrument will find us entering the energy field at a slight angle towards the back of the top of the head in a narrow but strong area of intensity. We are not able to offer any conditioning due to our own transmitting limitations, therefore, if the instrument can feel this particular effect he may then speak our thoughts as they come to him. We will again attempt this contact. I am Ra.

Ra: This instrument is resisting our contact. However, we assure you that we are satisfied that contact with the one known as Don is not preferable to that instrument. We will, therefore, move on to the one known as Leonard. Again we caution the instrument that it is a narrow band of communication which is felt as a vibration entering the aura. We will now transfer this contact. I am Ra.

Ra: I am Ra. We greet you once more in the love and the light of our infinite Creator. We ask that you be patient with us. We are a difficult channel to receive. We may perhaps add some dimensions to your understanding. At this time we would be glad to attempt to speak to any subject or question which those entities in the room may have potential use in the requesting.


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RA, Fragment 2 - Session 6, January 24, 1981

Jim: The following material in Session 6 concerns the basic requirement for the Ra contact; that is, harmony. During the 106 sessions with Ra there were only three people who ever attended a Ra session besides the three of us, and in each case it was Ra’s recommendation that each entity needed not only to have the appropriate attitude in its personal means of seeking but that each person needed to be in harmony with each of us before attending any session. In Tom’s case this was achieved by Don’s explaining to Tom the meaning that the Bible, candle, incense, and chalice of water held for us as triggering mechanisms or signals to our subconscious minds that a session was about to take place and that from all levels of our being we should begin the process of purifying our desires to serve others above all else and to surround ourselves with the joy-filled light of praise and thanksgiving. The harmony that this process produced among our group, then, was much as a musical chord with which those of Ra could blend their vibrations, and upon that harmonious blend of vibrations information of a metaphysical nature could be transmitted by being drawn to those which sought it.

Carla: Tom is one of the members of L/L Research’s spiritual family who attended our meditation group’s Sunday meetings for some years. It is impossible to say how many “members” have come to our sessions over the years since 1962, when we began. Like many of these dear souls, he has kept in touch, although his personal path has taken him elsewhere. We have always attempted to “tune” our circle before we begin to meditate together, so Tom was perfectly clear on what we needed.
That altar, with its Christian accouterments, may well puzzle some who think that it takes a new-age channel to produce new-age information. Not so for me, unless one counts Jesus Christ as a new-age channel himself! I was a cradle Anglican, and have attended Episcopal churches my whole life. That those of Ra worked with these deeply ingrained biases within me is, to me, a signal characteristic of this unique source. I felt loved, accepted and cherished by having these items placed near me, and that they thought this out was a constant blessing during this contact.

Session 6, January 24, 1981
Questioner: I would like to ask if it is possible for Tom to attend one of these sessions tomorrow. Are you familiar with the entity, Tom?
Ra: I am Ra. This mind/body/spirit complex, sound vibration “Tom,” is acceptable. We caution you to instruct this entity in the frame of mind and various appurtenances which it must understand before it is conducted into the circle.
Questioner: I’m not quite sure what you mean by appurtenances.
Ra: I was referring to the symbolic objects which trigger this instrument’s distortions towards love/light. The placement and loving acceptance of them by all present is important in the nurturing of this instrument. Therefore, the appurtenances involved must be described and their presence explained in your own words of teach/learning, for you have the proper attitude for the required results.
Questioner: The only question that I have is that I will assume that since Leonard was here when you first made contact that it is suitable for him to be here as well as Tom.
Ra: This is correct and completes the number of those at this time able to come who are suitable. Again, remember the instructions given for the preparation of the vibratory sound complex, Tom.


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RA, Fragment 3 - Session 8, January 26, 1981

Jim: Early in the Ra contact we received answers to our questions which fell into a controversial portion of our third-density illusion. Almost everyone, at some point within the study of the paranormal, spends some time being fascinated by the so-called “conspiracy theories” which have generally to do with the supposedly unseen groups and individuals who are said to be the real powers behind governments and their activities in the world today. Such theories usually hold that the news reports that we hear and read concerning politics, economics, the military, and so forth are but the tip of a very large iceberg that has mainly to do with various schemes for world domination and which function through the secret activities of this small, elite group of human beings and their alien allies.

The following information falls into this category and resulted from a follow-up question Don asked about UFOs and their sources. You will note Don’s incredulous attitude throughout this portion of his questioning. It was our decision to remove this information from Book One of The Law Of One because we felt it to be entirely unimportant and of a transient nature since knowing it adds nothing to one’s ability or desire to seek the truth and the nature of the evolutionary process, whether the information is true or not. In fact, knowing and continuing to seek this kind of information can become a major stumbling block to one’s spiritual journey because it removes one’s attention from the eternal truths which may serve anyone’s journey—at any time—and places it upon that which is only of fleeting interest and of little use spiritually. Concentrating on conspiracy theories and their participants tends to reinforce the illusion of separation and ignores the love that binds all things as One Being. If we had continued to pursue this particular line of questioning, or any other line of questioning of a transient nature, we would soon have lost the contact with those of Ra because, as Ra mentioned in the very first session, Ra communicated with us through a “narrow band” of vibration or wave length.

Through various clues that Ra gave us when Don asked about the alignments at the end of each session, we were able to determine that this “narrow band” meant that only information of the purest and most precise nature concerning the process of the evolution of mind, body, and spirit could be successfully transmitted on a sustainable basis through our instrument. To ask Ra questions of a transient nature would be like trying to run a finely-tuned engine on crude petroleum.

Many groups become fascinated with transient information of a specific, mundane nature and have their information polluted by negative entities who gradually replace the positive entities that began their contact. Pursuing information of this kind is like moving the dial on your radio so that you end up with another station altogether from the one with which you began. This change in desire for the kind of information that the group seeks from its contact is the signal to that contact that what it has to offer is no longer desired, and the Law of Free Will requires that only hints of this de-tuning process be given to the group so that all choices that the group makes are totally a product of its free will. When a group continues to seek the transient information, the positive contact gives hints here and there that such information is not of importance, but when the group persists in seeking this kind of information, the positive contact, in order to observe the free will of the group, must slowly withdraw and is then eventually replaced by a negative contact which is only too happy to give this kind of information, but with less desire for accuracy and with maximal desire to remove the group from the ranks of those who serve others. When the group has been discredited by false information—such as dates of future disasters which are publicized by the group and then do not occur—then the negative entities have been successful in removing the power of the group’s light and have gathered it for themselves.

We still feel that this information is totally unimportant, and the only reason that we include it now is to show how easy it is for a group to get off the track, shall we say, and to lose the focus of desire for that which is important and that with which the group began: the desire to serve others by gathering information which may aid in the evolution of mind, body, and spirit. Ten thousand years from now it will not matter one whit who did what to whom on this tiny speck of whirling dust. All that will matter is that love may be found at any time in every person and particle of the one creation, or any illusion thereof. Hopefully information gained through any effort such as the Ra contact will help some other third-density entities to discover more of that truth and to move one step further on their evolutionary journey to the one Creator.

Carla: All I can add to this is a plea to all official sources: we do not know anything, we are not in on any conspiracies, and please, please don’t tap our telephones … again! When Don and I joined Andrija Puharich for a mind-link in 1977, we caught the attention of some agency who played havoc with our telephone system. And how utterly without use to listen in to our converse! Mystics seldom plot! We honestly don’t care about this stuff, and just stumbled into it by accident.

I’d like to point out the way those of Ra seem here somewhat off-balance compared to their usual steady selves. It is subtle, but easy to see—the opening to each answer is normally “I am Ra.” Several times in this fragment, however, that signature is missing. The contact was going slightly out of tune here, I think, due to the information’s transient nature.

Session 8, January 26, 1981
Questioner: There was a portion of the material from yesterday which I will read where you say “there is a certain amount of landing taking place. Some of these landings are of your own people; some are of the group known to you as Orion.” My first question is what did you mean that some of the landings are of your peoples?
Ra: I am Ra. Your peoples have, at this time/space present, the technological achievement, if you would call it that, of being able to create and fly the shape and type of craft known to you as unidentified flying objects. Unfortunately for the social memory complex vibratory rate of your peoples, these devices are not intended for the service of mankind, but for potential destructive use. This further muddles the vibratory nexus of your social memory complex, causing a situation where neither those oriented towards serving others nor those oriented towards serving self can gain the energy/power which opens the gates to intelligent infinity for the social memory complex. This in turn causes the harvest to be small.
Questioner: Are these craft that are from our peoples from what we call planes that are not incarnate at this time? Where are they based?
Ra: I am Ra. These of which we spoke are of third density and are part of the so-called military complex of various of your peoples’ societal divisions or structures.
The bases are varied. There are bases, as you would call them, undersea in your southern waters near the Bahamas as well as in your Pacific seas in various places close to your Chilean borders on the water. There are bases upon your moon, as you call this satellite, which are at this time being reworked. There are bases which move about your lands. There are bases, if you would call them that, in your skies. These are the bases of your peoples, very numerous and, as we have said, potentially destructive.
Questioner: Where do the people who operate these craft come from? Are they affiliated with any nation on Earth. What is their source?
Ra: These people come from the same place as you or I. They come from the Creator.
As you intend the question, in its shallower aspect, these people are those in your and other selves’ governments responsible for what you would term national security.
Questioner: Am I to understand then that the United States has these craft in undersea bases?
Ra: I am Ra. You are correct.
Questioner: How did the United States learn the technology to build these craft?
Ra: I am Ra. There was a mind/body/spirit complex known to your people by the vibratory sound complex, Nikola. This entity departed the illusion and the papers containing the necessary understandings were taken by mind/body/spirit complexes serving your security of national divisional complex. Thus your people became privy to the basic technology. In the case of those mind/body/spirit complexes which you call Russians, the technology was given from one of the Confederation in an attempt, approximately twenty seven of your years ago, to share information and bring about peace among your peoples. The entities giving this information were in error, but we did many things at the end of this cycle in attempts to aid your harvest from which we learned the folly of certain types of aid. That is a contributing factor to our more cautious approach at this date, even as the need is power upon power greater, and your peoples’ call is greater and greater.
Questioner: I’m puzzled by these craft which have undersea bases. Is this technology sufficient to overshadow all other armaments? Do we have the ability to just fly in these craft or are they just craft for transport? What is the basic mechanism of their power source? It’s really hard to believe is what I’m saying.
Ra: I am Ra. The craft are perhaps misnamed in some instances. It would be more appropriate to consider them as weaponry. The energy used is that of the field of electromagnetic energy which polarizes the Earth sphere. The weaponry is of two basic kinds: that which is called by your peoples psychotronic and that which is called by your peoples particle beam. The amount of destruction which is contained in this technology is considerable and the weapons have been used in many cases to alter weather patterns and to enhance the vibratory change which engulfs your planet at this time.
Questioner: How have they been able to keep this a secret? Why aren’t these craft in use for transport?
Ra: The governments of each of your societal division illusions desire to refrain from publicity so that the surprise may be retained in case of hostile action from what your peoples call enemies.
Questioner: How many of these craft does the United States have?
Ra: I am Ra. The United States has 573 at this time. They are in the process of adding to this number.
Questioner: What is the maximum speed of one of these craft?
Ra: I am Ra. The maximum speed of these craft is equal to the Earth energy squared. This field varies. The limit is approximately one-half the light speed, as you would call it. This is due to imperfections in design.
Questioner: Would this type of craft come close to solving many of the energy problems as far as transport goes?
Ra: I am Ra. The technology your peoples possess at this time is capable of resolving each and every limitation which plagues your social memory complex at this present nexus of experience. However, the concerns of some of your beings with distortions towards what you would call powerful energy cause these solutions to be withheld until the solutions are so needed that those with the distortion can then become further distorted in the direction of power.
Questioner: You also said that some of the landings at this time were of the Orion group. Why did the Orion group land here? What is their purpose?
Ra: I am Ra. Their purpose is conquest, unlike those of the Confederation who wait for the calling. The so-called Orion group calls itself to conquest.
Questioner: Specifically, what do they do when they land?
Ra: There are two types of landings. In the first, entities among your peoples are taken on their craft and programmed for future use. There are two or three levels of programming. First, the level that will be discovered by those who do research. Second, a triggering program. Third, a second and most deep triggering program crystallizing the entity thereby rendering it lifeless and useful as a kind of beacon. This is a form of landing.
The second form is that of landing beneath the Earth’s crust which is entered from water. Again, in the general area of your South American and Caribbean areas and close to the so-called northern pole. The bases of these people are underground.
Questioner: The most startling information that you have given me, which I must admit that I’m having difficulty believing, is that the United States has 573 craft of the type which you described. How many people of United States designation are aware of these craft, including those who operate them?
Ra: I am Ra. The number of your peoples varies, for there are needs to communicate at this particular time/space nexus so that the number is expanding at this time. The approximate number is 1,500. It is only approximate for as your illusory time/space continuum moves from present to present at this nexus many are learning.
Questioner: Where are these craft constructed?
Ra: These craft are constructed one by one in two locations: in the desert or arid regions of your so-called New Mexico and in the desert or arid regions of your so-called Mexico, both installations being under the ground.
Questioner: Am I to believe that the United States actually has a manufacturing plant in Mexico?
Ra: I am Ra. I spoke thusly. May I, at this time, reiterate that this type of information is very shallow and of no particular consequence compared to the study of the Law of One. However, we carefully watch these developments in hopes that your peoples are able to be harvested in peace.
Questioner: I am totally aware that this line of questioning is of totally no consequence at all, but this particular information is so startling to me that it makes me question your validity on this. Up until this point I was in agreement with everything you had said. This is very startling to me. It just does not seem possible to me that this secret could have been kept for twenty-seven years, and that we are operating these craft. I apologize for my attitude, but I thought that I would be very honest. It is unbelievable to me that we would operate a plant in Mexico, outside of the United States, to build these craft. Maybe I’m mistaken. These craft are physical craft built by physical people? Could I go get in one and ride in one? Is that correct?
Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. You could not ride one. The United States, as you call your society divisional complex, creates these as a type of weapon.
Questioner: There are no occupants then? No pilot, shall I say?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct.
Questioner: How are they controlled?
Ra: I am Ra. They are controlled by computer from a remote source of data.
Questioner: Why do we have a plant in Mexico?
Ra: I am Ra. The necessity is both for dryness of the ground and for a near total lack of population. Therefore, your so-called government and the so-called government of your neighboring geographical vicinity arranged for an underground installation. The government officials who agreed did not know the use to which their land would be put, but thought it a governmental research installation for use in what you would call bacteriological warfare.
Questioner: Is this the type of craft that Dan Frye was transported in?
Ra: I am Ra. The one known as Daniel was, in thought-form, transported by Confederation thought-form vehicular illusion in order to give this mind/body/spirit complex data so that we might see how this type of contact aided your people in the uncovering of the intelligent infinity behind the illusion of limits.
Questioner: The reason that I have questioned you so much and so carefully about the craft which you say the United States government operates is that if we include this in the book it will create numerous problems. It is something that I am considering leaving out of the book entirely, or I am going to have to question you in considerable detail about it. It’s difficult to even question in this area, but I would like to ask a few more questions about it with the possible option of leaving it in the book. What is the diameter of the craft which the United States has?
Ra: I am Ra. I suggest that this be the last question for this session. We will speak as you deem fit in further sessions, asking you to be guided by your own discernment only.
The approximate diameter, given several model changes, is twenty-three of your feet, as you measure.


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RA, Fragment 4 - Session 9, January 27, 1981

Jim: None of us was ever greatly interested in previous incarnational experiences. Again, it’s easy to lose the focus on the present moment’s opportunities for growth if one becomes overly interested in one’s lives before this one. The one query of this nature that we did ask of Ra elicited an answer that seemed to support our lack of interest in past lives.

Carla: I do personally believe that we incarnate many times, and that we fashion, through these cycles of manifestation, complex and meaningful relationships that root deeply within our beings. When Don and I met, he has said he knew for certain that we would be together. Since what immediately thereafter ensued for me was a four-year marriage to a fellow who wished not to be married, I once braced him for not having told me this home truth right then in 1962, and saved me that difficult four years. “What? And have you miss all that good catalyst?” he said.

Both Donald and Jim had a loving and generous regard of me that is amazing unless one introduces the concept of previous connections. I have no doubt that we have served together before, in other lives and other times. An interesting bit of possible past history was expressed years ago to Jim in a psychic reading: it was suggested that in the American great plains frontier of the nineteenth century, Don and Jim were brothers living together as farmers. I was Jim’s child, Don’s nephew, and I lived only to the age of five, being sickly from birth. This was suggested as being preparation for their taking care of me in this life, as I dealt with disability, limitation and especially psychic greeting during the time of the Ra contact. It rings true at some level with me. However, I also feel that we do not need to know anything of our past associations in order to learn and serve together at this present moment. We have all we need to meet the present moment. The rest is just details.

Session 9, January 27, 1981
Questioner: Is it possible for you to tell us anything about our past experiences, our past incarnations before this incarnation?
Ra: I am Ra. It is possible. However, such information as this is carefully guarded by your mind/body/spirit being totality so that your present space/time experiences will be undiluted.
Let us scan for harmless material for your beingness. I am, in the distortion of desire for your freedom from preconception, able to speak only generally.
There have been several times when this group worked and dwelt together. The relationships varied. There is balanced karma, as you call it; each thus teacher of each. The work has involved healing, understanding the uses of the earth energy, and work in aid of civilizations which called just as your sphere has done and we have come. This ends the material which we consider harmless.


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RA, Fragment 5 - Session 12, January 28, 1981

Jim: In the first paragraph of the next section one can see how easy it is for even the most serious of seekers occasionally to lose the proper attitude for finding the heart of the evolutionary process. Properly attuning one’s being for efficient seeking has far less to do with what one does than with how one does it and how one balances it or seats it within one’s being with meditation and contemplation. Without the balance of the meditative attitude the mind tends to become distracted by the mundane repetition of events, and one’s lessons tend to orbit the periphery of one’s being without becoming seated in the center of the being, there to provide a deeper grasp of the nature of this illusion and a sense of how to navigate one’s self through it in a more harmonious fashion. We also see in Ra’s next response that it is imperative that all such navigational movements of one’s being be a product of one’s free will choices, never to be abridged by any other being. That point is echoed again in Ra’s response to Don’s query about the metaphysical implications of attempting to lock an Man In Black in one’s closet, an opportunity that we never had, incidentally!

This is another good example of a line of questioning veering off into transient and unimportant information. Note how Ra ends Session 12 in Book I, also titled The Ra Material, with hints that the “correct alignment” and “proper orientation” of the Bible, candle, censer and water are somewhat askew. It took us twelve sessions to determine that Ra was not actually speaking of the physical placement of the Bible and so forth, but Ra was giving us a hint that our metaphysical alignment was off. Our line of questioning was misplaced from the heart of the evolutionary process. Since our contact with Ra was “narrow band” that meant that Ra could not long respond to questions which were off the target. If we had allowed these distortions to remain over a long period of time the contact would have been impaired and eventually we would have lost the contact..

The last portion of this session deals with the concept of what is called the Wanderers and their frequently shared characteristics of exhibiting physical ailments such as allergies and personality disorders which, in the deeper sense, seem to be a reaction against this planet’s vibrational frequency. This is apparently a side-effect that is due to such entities having another planetary influence in a higher density as their home vibration. They incarnate on this third-density planet in order to be of service in whatever way is possible to help the population of this planet to become more aware of the evolutionary process and to move in harmony with it. These Wanderers go through the same forgetting process that every other third-density being who incarnates here goes through, and they become completely the third-density being—even as they slowly begin to remember why it is that they have been born here. Apparently, about one in every seventy people on Earth is of such an origin.

It almost seems to be in vogue now to say that one is from this or that planet, this or that higher density, and that one is really this or that exalted being come down to Earth to be a great teacher. It is embarrassing to us to see such a magnificent opportunity for rendering a humble service cheapened to a game of who has the most spiritual sergeant’s stripes. We do not hide the possibility that we may be of such origins, but neither do we nor those of Ra feel that such an origin is particularly remarkable. As Don used to say, “You’ve got to be somewhere doing something. You might as well be here doing this.”

Carla: I think one thing to keep in mind, if we are Wanderers from elsewhere, is that we came here for a reason: to serve at this time right here in this very shadow world of Earth’s third density. Yes, we suffer the results of trying to live in a vibratory range that is difficult for us, and yes, we somehow remember a “better way” to live. With this in mind, it becomes clearer that our main mission here is simply to live, to breathe the air and to let the love within us flow. Just the simple living of an everyday life is sacramental when the person is living with that consciousness of “all is love” humming its tune beneath our words and thoughts. To live devotionally does not mean, necessarily, that one becomes a hermit or a wandering pilgrim, although if you feel called to it, blessings on your way. To me, at least, the daily things are the most holy, the washing up, the chores, the errands. All moves in rhythm, and we are just part of that symphony of all life that shares energy back and forth.

I know one of the great hopes a Wanderer has is to find its service. The living of a devotional life, right in the busy midst of everything, is ample and perfect service. It is what we came here to do. As we let love flow through us, others change, and as they open their hearts, the circle of light grows. We are now at a stage where the light sources are beginning to connect … do I hear the sound of global mind being born?

The global mind is a very real concept to me, as well, especially since the advent of e-mail and the world-wide web. With information being exchanged without pen or paper, we are basically working with light, surely one of the purer ways to communicate. As I collect stories of Wanderers’ blues, I am struck by how intense and constant is the general desire for a spiritual home, an identity, and a way of service. I encourage all those who experience themselves as Wanderers to link up and “network” with other awakened consciousnesses, to live in the open heart together and allow the light to come through us all into the “world-wide web” of planetary consciousness. As Jim says, there is no greater service than being yourself in this sometimes refractory world.

Don loved Andrija Puharich and was a loyal and generous friend to him for many years. We met Andrija in 1974, after we read the book, URI, which he wrote, and identified him as one of the characters in our oddly prophetic novel, THE CRUCIFIXION OF ESMERELDA SWEETWATER, which we had written in 1968 and 1969. We helped with the now-historic “Mind Link” of 1977, and heard from him from far and wide as he dodged bullets and various agents of various governments who thought he was up to something. Puharich was a person of immense hospitality and kindness of character, although quite insensitive to and unaware of the world and its requirements outside his work. This was a guy who got up in the morning and worked steadily, only stopping for grabbing some food, literally, until time for bed. He rather ran through people, using their talents and donations as they aided the work, and unaware of depleting people’s resources or time, because he focused on the work before him, never on making money. This was a born scholar and a brilliant man, and much occurred in his ken, It is a loss to the world of ideas that his carefully kept journals were confiscated at the time of his death and have disappeared. I admit readily to feeling ofttimes that he was “using” Don. I felt he was a man of more energy, but less wisdom, than Don. I felt he should have followed Don’s sage council at times. Don himself never felt anything like this. He was glad to help. I celebrate Andrija. What a singular and remarkable fellow, and what a contribution he made in so many ways!

George Hunt Williamson was a channel we greatly admired; indeed, we used his channeling of Brother Philip in our tape, MESSAGES FROM THE UFOs. We were in telephone contact with him only, and like Andrija, he never made it to our sessions. It’s likely he was not too pleased at Ra’s request for him to prepare! He is one of the great pioneers in UFO and related metaphysical research, and I think the first to name Wanderers. He called them “apples,” quoting the radio-channeled UFO message, “To the apples we salt, we shall return.”

Session 12, January 28, 1981
Questioner: I got a call from Henry Puharich this afternoon and he will be here next month. I would like to ask if it is permissible for him to join in our circle and ask questions? I would also like to ask if Michael D’brenovic, also known as George Hunt Williamson, could join our circle as well?
Ra: I am Ra. These entities, at present, are not properly attuned for the particular work due to vibrational distortions which in turn are due to a recent lack of time/space which you call busy-ness. It would be requested that the entities spend a brief time/space in each diurnal cycle of your planet in contemplation. At a future time/space in your continuum you are requested to ask again. This group is highly balanced to this instrument’s vibratory distortions due to, firstly, contact with the instrument on a day-to-day basis. Secondly, due to contact with the instrument through meditation periods. Thirdly, through a personal mind/body/spirit complex distortion towards contemplation which in sum causes this group to be effective.
Questioner: Which group was it that contacted Henry Puharich in Israel around 1972?
Ra: I am Ra. We must refrain from answering this query due to the possibility/probability that the one you call Henry will read this answer. This would cause distortions in his future. It is necessary that each being use free and complete discernment from within the all-self which is at the heart of the mind/body/spirit complex.
Questioner: Would that also keep you from answering who it was that the group I was in, in 1962, contacted then?
Ra: I am Ra. This query may be answered. The group contacted was the Confederation.
Questioner: Did they have any of their craft in our area at that time?
Ra: I am Ra. There was no craft. There was a thought-form.
Questioner: If an Man In Black were to visit me and I locked him in the closet could I keep him, or would he disappear?
Ra: I am Ra. It depends upon which type of entity you grab. You are perhaps able to perceive a construct. The construct might be kept for a brief period, although these constructs also have an ability to disappear. The programming on these constructs, however, makes it more difficult to remotely control them. You would not be able to grapple with a thought-form entity of the Man in Black, as you call it, type.
Questioner: Would this be against the Law of One? Would I be making a mistake by grabbing one of those entities?
Ra: I am Ra. There are no mistakes under the Law of One.
Questioner: What I mean to ask is would I be polarizing more towards self-service or service to others when I did this act of locking up the thought-form or construct?
Ra: I am Ra. You may consider that question for yourself. We interpret the Law of One, but not to the extent of advice.
Questioner: Is there a way for these Wanderers to heal themselves of their physical ailments?
Ra: I am Ra. This will be the last complete question of this time/space.
The self-healing distortion is effected through realization of the intelligent infinity resting within. This is blocked in some way in these who are not perfectly balanced in bodily complexes. The blockage varies from entity to entity. It requires the conscious awareness of the spiritual nature of reality, if you will, and the corresponding pourings of this reality into the individual mind/body/spirit complex for healing to take place.
Is there a short question before we close this session?
Questioner: Is it possible for you to tell us if any of the three of us are Wanderers?
Ra: I am Ra. In scanning each of the mind/body/spirit complexes present, we find an already complete sureness of this occurrence and, therefore, find no harm in recapitulating this occurrence. Each of those present are (sic) Wanderers pursuing a mission, if you will.


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RA, Fragment 6 - Session 15, January 30, 1981

Jim: However, our curiosity did periodically return. And, once again, we see the importance of maintaining one’s free will by not diluting the present incarnational experience with too much information concerning one’s previous experiences. Meditations and lives tend to be more efficient if they remain focused upon one point or moment.

Carla: We have spent a few moments of our lives thinking about who was fifth-density and who was sixth, but it has never been clear, nor have we been much pushed to figure it out!

Session 15, January 30, 1981
Questioner: Is it possible, since we are Wanderers, for you to tell us anything about which our last density was, which density we came from?
Ra: I scan each and find it acceptable to share this information. The Wanderers in this working are of two densities, one the density of five; that is, of light; one the density of love/light, or unity. To express the identity of which came from which density, we observe this to be an infringement upon the free will of each. Therefore, we state simply the two densities, both of which are harmoniously oriented towards work together.


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RA, Fragment 7 - Session 16, January 31, 1981

Jim: The following material on “silver flecks” is curious in that these small, shiny pieces of what looked like silver rectangles would occasionally appear on or around us when we were discussing matters of a metaphysical nature. Apparently, if we were on the track of thinking that was felt appropriate by our subconscious minds, we would be given a sign of this correctness in the form of the “silver fleck.” There are apparently many, many different ways in which people may receive such subconscious confirmations of the appropriateness of their thoughts or actions. The most common, of course, is that feeling of rightness that wells up from within when one is on the right track or receiving spiritually helpful information.

Carla: The awareness of this method of feedback from the winds of destiny is most helpful to one on a spiritual path. The natural world seems very open to the production of synchronicities that are subjectively meaningful. Once the seeker “gets” the presence of these signs, and begins consciously to watch for them, she can actually have influence in the creating of more subjective signs, until there are times when meaningful coincidence seems to take on a constant presence in her life. I certainly have found these signs most comforting and strengthening.

Session 16, January 31, 1981
Questioner: Can you tell me of the silver flecks that we have found sometimes on our faces or elsewhere?
Ra: I am Ra. These of which you speak are a materialization of a subjectively oriented signpost indicating to one mind/body/spirit complex, and no other, a meaning of subjective nature.
Questioner: Who creates these silver flecks?
Ra: I am Ra. Picture, if you will, the increasing potential for learn/teaching. At some point a sign will be given indicating the appropriateness or importance of that learn/teaching. The entity itself, in cooperation with the inner planes, creates whatever signpost is most understandable or noticeable to it.
Questioner: I understand then that we ourselves create this?
Ra: I am Ra. Entities consciously do not create these. The roots of mind complex, having touched in understanding, intelligent infinity, create them.


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RA, Fragment 8 - Session 17, February 3, 1981

Jim: Before each contact with those of Ra we conducted a meditation which we used as our tuning device; that is, our means of becoming as one in our seeking to be of service to others. Oftentimes, during this meditation, Don would get a hunch as to an addition to the line of questioning which we had decided upon the night before. In Session 17 such a hunch came to him concerning a crater in the Tunguska region of Russia which, it is speculated, was made by either a crashed UFO or a large meteor of some kind in 1908. There is also speculation that some scientists of the Soviet Union first became interested in the possibility of life in other parts of the galaxy and solar system as a result of their investigation of this crater and its possible origin.
After asking about this crater and following it up with questions concerning the development of nuclear energy on Earth and the odd and rarely reported phenomenon of spontaneous combustion of a human being, Don determined that this line of questioning would yield little of value.

Carla: Donald was a scientist, and he never could quite accept that Ra was in no position to chat with us about phenomena that can be measured. The desire that had brought Ra to our group was a true desire for non-transient material, and this desire fueled our sessions. When we departed from that level of information, Ra would remind us to get back on track in a subtle way: by telling us to watch our alignments. We at first took them literally and thought they were referring to the items on the altar, to getting them lined up rightly. Later, we figured out that they were grading our questions, not our Bible and candle placement. It’s worth emphasizing that anything measurable is also transient.


The human spirit, the force of creative love, the creation’s essence: these things are unfindable, noumenal, always sensed and never penetrated by our fact-finding intellects. But we sense into them through living with an open heart, and by talking about them with sources such as Ra and Q’uo and other “universal” or “outer” energies and essences. The personal guides and other teachers of the inner planes of our planet have much more leeway in offering personal information, whenever their last incarnation. Go to them to get your readings on your health and other specific issues. Go to outer sources such as our confederation sources with questions that transcend space and time. If it will matter less in 10,000 years than it does now, it is probably not a universal question!

Session 17, February 3, 1981
Questioner: In meditation I got the question about the crater in Russia in the, I believe, Tunguska region. Can you tell me what caused the crater?
Ra: I am Ra. The destruction of a fission reactor caused this crater.
Questioner: Whose reactor?
Ra: I am Ra. This was what you may call a “drone” sent by Confederation which malfunctioned. It was moved to an area where its destruction would not cause infringement upon the will of mind/body/spirit complexes. It was then detonated.
Questioner: What was its purpose in coming here?
Ra: It was a drone designed to listen to the various signals of your peoples. You were, at that time, beginning work in a more technical sphere. We were interested in determining the extent and the rapidity of your advances. This drone was powered by a simple fission motor or engine as you would call it. It was not that type which you now know, but was very small. However, it has the same destructive effect upon third-density molecular structures. Thus as it malfunctioned we felt it was best to pick a place for its destruction rather than attempt to retrieve it, for the possibility/probability modes for this maneuver looked very, very minute.
Questioner: Was its danger both blast and radiation?
Ra: I am Ra. There is very little radiation, as you know of it, in this particular type of device. There is radiation which is localized, but the localization is such that it does not drift with the winds as does the emission of your somewhat primitive weapons.
Questioner: I believe that analysis has detected very little radiation in the trees in this area. Is this low level of radiation a result of what you are speaking of?
Ra: I am Ra. This is correct. The amount of radiation is very localized. However, the energy which is released is powerful enough to cause difficulties.
Questioner: Then was the Confederation responsible for the Earth receiving nuclear power?
Ra: I am Ra. It is a point which one cannot judge what is cause. The basic equation which preceded this work was an equation brought through by a Wanderer dedicated to service to the planet. That this work should have become the foundation for instruments of destruction was not intended and was not given.
Questioner: Can you tell me who this Wanderer was who brought through the equation?
Ra: I am Ra. This information seems harmless as this entity is no longer of your planetary third density. This entity was named, sound vibratory complex, Albert.
Questioner: Is this the reason for what we call spontaneous combustion of human beings?
Ra: I am Ra. This is not correct.
Questioner: Can you tell me what causes that phenomenon?
Ra: I am Ra. Picture, if you will, a forest. One tree is struck by lightening. It burns. Lightening does not strike elsewhere. Elsewhere does not burn. There are random occurrences which do not have to do with the entity, but with the window phenomenon of which we spoke.
Questioner: Are these entities uniquely the same, or are they random entities?
Ra: I am Ra. The latter is correct.


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RA, Fragment 9 - Session 18, February 4, 1981

Jim: At the beginning of Session 18, in response to a general query from Don concerning the information Ra was transmitting to our group, Ra innocently “told on” Carla. A good friend of hers had offered her the opportunity to experience the effects of LSD, which she had never experienced before. She used it twice in early February of 1981 as a programming device to attempt to achieve an experience of unity with the Creator, but she did not wish Don to know about these experiences since he was very much against the use of any illegal substances at any time and especially during the time during which our group was working with the Ra contact. In a later session it will be suggested by Ra that these two experiences were arranged by the negative entities monitoring our work with those of Ra in hopes that Carla’s ability to serve in the Ra contact might be hindered. As a result of this particular session it was the determination of the three of us that there would be no further use of any illegal substances for as long as we were privileged to work with the Ra contact so that no chinks in our “armor of light” that we could eliminate would be present and so that the Ra contact could never be associated with the use of any such drugs.

The information on Aleister Crowley is self-explanatory and underlines again the caution that each seeker must take in moving carefully through its energy centers in a balanced fashion.

By chance, a few sessions earlier, we had discovered that sexual intercourse was an aid to Carla’s vital energies during the trance state and would increase the length of a session if engaged in the night before a session was to be held. Thus at the end of Session 18, when Don asked how we might avoid further difficulties in the contact, Ra affirmed the aid which we had discovered sexual intercourse provided. We also found that the conscious dedication of the act of love-making to the service of others via the Ra contact increased its beneficial effects.

Carla: As a young college woman, I never dated or spent time with anyone who smoked marijuana or took LSD, or any other drugs. People all around me were experimenting, but I never was offered any drugs. It was the day of flower children and high ideals, a wonderful time to be young. The hippies ruled but I was only an honorary flower child, since I worked steadily throughout that decade. In 1981, I was 38. When an old friend offered to let me try LSD, I was tickled and eager to try it, for I had long been curious to see what this much-touted substance did to one’s head. In the event, I thoroughly enjoyed the experiences—I tried LSD twice—and found that there really was a wonderful increase in the sense of rightness of things under its benign influence on me. Since then, I have heard from many people that my utterly positive experiences with LSD were somewhat atypical, in that most people deal with at least a little hallucination or departure from consensus reality, or even a negatively experienced “high,” or bad trip. So I was either lucky, or my subconscious mind was more settled in its own skin than some others. I’d bet on luck!

Needless to say, I was not happy to learn that Ra had blithely told my secret to Don. I valued Don’s opinion above all things, and he was not pleased with my judgment in taking illegal substances. But I did not, and do not, feel guilty or ashamed for satisfying my curiosity, under circumstances as safe as one could make them. I also have tried cigarettes and alcohol, both heavily addictive substances, but rarely drink and never use tobacco. (In cooking, however, I use many different spirits, as they offer such delightful notes when put into the harmony of cooking things.) My curiosity was satisfied, and I moved on. The freedom to do this, to know what is out there, is a valuable one, to my mind, if not abused. Moderation seems to me the key.

I have very fond memories of reading Aleister Crowley’s auto-hagiography to Don. He did not like to read, so I frequently read to him. Once we got into this outrageous, brilliant man’s work, we were fascinated. Crowley is a fine writer, regardless of what his polarity might have been fumbling around with. Our favorite poem of his is a perfectly ghoulish nursery rhyme he wrote as a precocious toddler. It begins, “In her hospital bed she lay, rotting away, rotting away, rotting by night and rotting by day, rotting and rotting and rotting away.” Now that I have told you this, you may perhaps see why this character grew up to become … eccentric! But always interesting.

In working to fit myself into Don’s requirements for a mate, I became a user of relative ethics, a practice that seems always to offer a challenge eventually. Don wished to be celibate, which became obvious to me within six months of our coming together in 1968. I always said that his inability to resist me for those first few months we lived together was my greatest compliment of all time! I attempted a celibate life, after we had talked this issue through, for a little over two years, before I concluded that celibacy was not for me. Don had also decided that we should not marry. This implied, to me, a relationship based on a commonality in a metaphysical rather than a physical sense. Always logical, I suggested to Don that we make an agreement: I would tell him before I took a lover, and when I had ceased seeing him. In between, there was no need to discuss it. This would preclude his hearing about such company from others. As he was gone flying about half the time, I had no difficulty in finding time for the lovers’ relationship. My lover for most of the time Don and I spent together, ten of the sixteen years, was a trusted and much-loved buddy of mine ever since high school. We had thought of marriage years before, and then decided against it, but we’d remained close. He got the notion to come see me perhaps once a month. I stopped seeing him when he began to wish to take our relationship further, and I was celibate again for some four years before Jim. When Jim began coming to the group, we eventually got together, and he became my lover. All of this was done in the good mutual faith between Donald and me. He was genuinely happy for me to have these relationships, and they did not intrude upon our harmony.

However, in time, after Donald’s death, it became clear to me that my relationship with Jim, especially the intimately sexual part of it, did bother Don at a level below the threshold of his awareness, or mine, for that matter. I doubt he ever realized or acknowledged the emotion. I certainly never saw any trace of it, and I am a sensitive person, able to pick up nuances of feeling. But he must have felt these things, and it led him, in the end, to lose faith in my allegiance. And that completely misplaced doubt was the weakness in his armor of light that resulted in his dying.

Long are the hours I have spent reflecting upon this matter. On the one hand, if I had been completely chaste and celibate, he would never have doubted me. He would have still been living, and with me. But we would not have had the contact with Ra that gave us the Law Of One material, because it was the combined energy of us three that contacted Ra, not myself as channel, or any one of us as L/L Research, or even L/L Research as an entity. This is clear from the simple dates: Jim came to L/L permanently on December 23, 1980, and we received our first contact from those of Ra on January 15, 1981, less than three weeks after Jim moved in. And Donald felt from the first session with Ra that this was his life’s work, the culmination of all he had been through since the ’50s, and his gift to the world. Logic fails in matters like these. One can hew completely and faithfully to the agreements one has made, and still err.

If one can move beyond the mythic tragedy of Donald’s death, and believe me, one can, after a decade or so, barely, one begins to see the inherent humor in that human, prideful assumption that one can control one’s destiny by doing only what is seen as right. One can certainly try to be without error or sin. My pride in myself as being one who always keeps her word blinded me to the suspicions Donald had, but kept completely to himself. His lack of faith in any opinion but his own, even when completely healthy of mind, made it more likely that when he became mentally ill, he would experience paranoia. It is a perfect tragedy.

Don wanted always and only my presence. He never asked for anything else, with the exception of the work we did together. He even begrudged me the time to work on his projects when he was at home. I did all the work for the books we wrote together while he was flying. When he was home, my job was to be in the same room he was in. I was delighted to do this. He could never bring himself to express it, but well I knew how devoted he was, and I felt the same. We had little choice in this; we both felt we were destined to be together, that we were truly star-crossed. Loving him was like breathing, and it did not matter how his needs impinged on mine. Indeed, my spiritual adviser said more than once that I was guilty of idolatry. I did not care what had to be lost to achieve his comfort. I knew these losses included marriage, home and children, things I valued highly and had hoped for. But we were “home” to each other in a way I cannot describe. He rested me, and I, him. I received two compliments from him, in our whole life together. He did not want to spoil me! The lessons were to see through the issues of home, family and reassurance to the ground of being that we shared, to the sensibility we had in common. I embraced them. He was worth whatever it cost. I look back and know I would not change anything. All our choices were made as well as we could make them.

This was the jigsaw puzzle within which we were living, in the world-drama, soap-opera consensus reality of our everyday lives. Carla and Don worked perfectly, as did Jim and Carla, and Don and Jim, who loved each other like family from the first meeting. These relationships were strong and true. Naught could have come between us except for doubt. It never occurred to me that Donald could mistake my fondness for Jim for any sort of alteration in Don’s and my un-marriage version of being wed—and we were indeed truly wed, in spirit. You can imagine my wretchedness when one of his friends told me, long after the funeral, that Don had thought I had fallen out of love with him. I was flabbergasted, completely unaware of these doubts, so it never occurred to me to reassure him. How I wish I had! But I was grieving, for the man I knew was gone, and what took his place was a person in very bad need of help. And I was angry that he would not seek help, or follow any medical suggestions.


He was my world, and without him, I felt I did not exist. I think most of my grieving was done before his death, in those surrealistic months when he was so very ill, and nothing I did to help was of avail. It took years after he died for me to come to a new sense of myself. That I have now done so is a gift of grace from the Creator, and has been greatly aided by Jim’s sensitive treatment of me during the long years of confinement with debilitating episodes of arthritis and other troubles in the decade following Don’s death, and during my rehab period in 1992. For the first six years after Don died, I actively felt I should kill myself, because I had “caused” his death, inadvertently, but surely. This was my longest walk in the desert until this present moment. I was resigned to having this basic mind-set for the rest of my life, and I was not aware that time had begun its healing work until I picked up something I’d written and forgot about. I read it anew, and thought, “you know, I like this person.” Six years in the desert! Many were the times I was tempted to lay down my faith, but I could not, would not do that. So I survived, and waited for grace. The lesson here is simply that waiting does bring all things to one. Patience cannot be overvalued in the spiritual journey.

This world remains to me a sea of confusion. Knowing well how much I have erred, in what I have done and what I’ve left undone, and knowing how little I understand, I am well content to remain in the hands of destiny. One of my desires in publishing this personal material is to expose, with utter lack of modesty or fear, the humanness of the three of us. We were not “worthy” of the Ra contact, in the sense of being perfect people. We were three pilgrims who found comfort in each other, and who sought honestly and deeply to serve the light. The material is completely apart from who any of us was or is, and we are not to be confused with Ra, as having some sort of special excellence. This just is not so.

Are relative ethics OK? I still believe they are, and that keeping carefully made agreements is a real key to harmonious living and clear relationships. But it is just the best we can do. That doesn’t make it perfect. Further, one cannot expect the universe to bless us with perfect peace just because we are keeping our agreements. We all are blindsided by life itself, and continue only by blunder, faith and a good humor in the face of all. There is an art to cooperating with destiny. And may I say, I am grateful to James Allen McCarty for that selfsame good humor, and for deciding with me, three years after Don’s death, to take hold of our friendship and create a marriage between us. He was most ill-suited to such, as I said, and his gallant cheer and courtesy in accommodating himself to this role has been and continues to be remarkable to me. Truly, he has been a good companion through many waters.

One thing is sure: in true love, the star-crossed kind, there is incredible sweetness, but also immense pain. Don was a hard man to love. Not communicative in the usual sense, he never said what he wanted of me, but just waited for me to guess right. I did not mind, and still am glad of every bit of pain I went through trying to be what he needed me to be, which was essentially without sexuality or the usual reassurance of words, yet greatly intimate. In the density we came from, we were already one, Ra said. So there was an ultimate satisfaction in being with Don, having to do much more with eternity than any particular time or space. What Jim and I had and have is the devoted love of old friends and lovers, who have an earthly pilgrimage together. Our time together is child’s play after Don, as far as my being able to handle whatever happens with us. Jim will communicate until we find every bit of misunderstanding, and so we have an easy time of it and when we do have catalyst together, it is quickly worked through. Jim’s never had that ultimate romance, and occasionally misses it. But what we do have is so good to us that we have found a considerable happiness with each other, and the good work we have between us.

We see ourselves as still working for and with Don, keeping L/L’s doors open and our hearts as well, and living the devotional life that we have learned about from the Confederation teachings. These teachings are at one with universal wisdom as well as my Christian heritage, and have to do simply with living in love. This is such a simple teaching that it escapes many people. But that focus upon Love is one’s access to truth, and one’s willingness to keep the heart open, which one may call faith, is the energy that brings to us all that was meant for us, both of lessons to learn and of service to offer.

And above all, we may acknowledge, for once and for all, that we are but dust, unless we are living in Love. This helps one to deal with sorrows that inevitably visit our lives. We are not supposed to be in control, or perfect, or any particular thing, but just those who continue to love, through whatever confusion there is. Sheer persistence in faith, regardless of the illusion, is the key to many blessings.



Session 18, February 4, 1981
Questioner: I was thinking last night that if I was in the place of Ra right now, the first distortion of the Law of One might cause me to mix some erroneous data with the true information that I was transmitting to this group. Do you do this?
Ra: I am Ra. We do not intentionally do this. However, there will be confusion. The errors which have occurred have occurred due to the occasional variation in the vibrational complex of this instrument due to its ingestion of a chemical substance. It is not our intent in this particular project to create erroneous information but to express in the confining ambiance of your language system the feeling of the infinite mystery of the one creation in its infinite and intelligent unity.
Questioner: Can you tell me what the chemical substance is that, when ingested, causes poor contact?
Ra: I am Ra. This is not a clear query. Could you please restate.
Questioner: You just stated that you had some problems with the instrument because of the ingestion of some chemical substance by the instrument. Can you tell me what the chemical substance was?
Ra: I am Ra. The substance of which we speak is called vibration sound complex, LSD. It does not give poor contact if it is used in conjunction with the contact. The difficulty of this particular substance is that there is, shall we say, a very dramatic drop-off of the effect of this substance. In each case this instrument began the session with the distortion towards extreme vital energy which this substance produces. However this entity was, during the session, at the point where this substance no longer was in sufficient strength to amplify the entity’s abilities to express vital energy. Thus, first the phenomenon of, shall we say, a spotty contact and then, as the instrument relies again upon its own vibrational complexes of vital energy, the vital energy in this case being very low, it became necessary to abruptly cut off communication in order to preserve and nurture the instrument. This particular chemical substance is both helpful and unhelpful in these contacts for the causes given.
Questioner: Are there any foods that are helpful or harmful that the instrument might eat?
Ra: I am Ra. This instrument has body complex distortion towards ill health in the distortion direction corrected best by ingestion of the foodstuffs of your grains and your vegetables as you call them. However, this is extremely unimportant when regarded as an aid with equality to other aids such as attitude which this instrument has in abundance. It, however, aids the vital energies of this instrument, with less distortion towards ill health, to ingest foodstuffs in the above manner with the occasional ingestion of what you call your meats, due to the instrument’s need to lessen the distortion towards low vital energy.
Questioner: The entity Aleister Crowley wrote “Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law.” He was obviously of some understanding of the Law of One. Where is this entity now?
Ra: I am Ra. This entity is within your inner planes. This entity is in an healing process.
Questioner: Did this entity, then, even though he intellectually understood the Law of One, misuse it and have to go through this healing process?
Ra: I am Ra. This entity became, may we use the vibration sound complex, overstimulated with the true nature of things. This over-stimulation resulted in behavior that was beyond the conscious control of the entity. The entity thus, in many attempts to go through the process of balancing, as we have described the various centers beginning with the red ray and moving upwards, became somewhat overly impressed or caught up in this process and became alienated from other-selves. This entity was positive. However, its journey was difficult due to the inability to use, synthesize, and harmonize the understandings of the desires of self so that It might have shared, in full compassion, with other-selves. This entity thus became very unhealthy, as you may call it, in a spiritual complex manner, and it is necessary for those with this type of distortion towards inner pain to be nurtured in the inner planes until such an entity is capable of viewing the experiences again with the lack of distortion towards pain.
Questioner: I just have two little questions here at the end. The instrument wanted to ask if there were any other substances foods, etc. that she should not eat or drink or things that she should not do because she does not wish to have poor contact for any reason.
Ra: I am Ra. There is no activity which this instrument engages in which affects abilities negatively. There is one activity which affects its abilities positively. This is the sexual activity, as you would call it. There are substances ingested which do not aid the individual in the service it has chosen, this being that which you would call the marijuana. This is due to the distortion towards chemical lapses within the mind complex causing lack of synaptic continuity. This is a chemical reaction of short duration. This instrument, however, has not used this particular substance at any time while performing this service. We believe we have covered the use of such chemical agents as LSD, this being positive to a certain extent due to the energizing or speeding up of the vital forces. However, it is not recommended for this instrument due to the toll it takes upon the vital energies once the substance wears off. This being true of any speeding-up chemical.

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