"We cannot become
what we want to be
by remaining what we are."
What we refer to as our 'comfort zone' is the space in which we feel
comfortable, and in control.
You might also call it
the 'control zone'. When we move outside of it, or push its borders,
we can feel anxious, uneasy and unsafe, without the familiarity of
knowing we have our knowledge, skills and experience to back us up.
Stepping outside can feel
like there is no safety net anymore, and that anything can happen.
The challenge is this:
It feels unsafe to
lose control, to be on rocky ground. But on the outside of this
zone, magic happens. So long as we want to grow and learn, we
will want a piece of it.
Let's call this the
Being a little anxious
keeps us alert and awake, and therefore sharpens all our senses.
If you speak to any
successful performer, athlete or speaker, they will tell you how
they have pushed this anxiety limit all the way to the top.
How you feel about your entire life will tell you a great deal about
how comfortable you are.
It might not be what you
would expect, but when you are unsatisfied, you are most likely also
comfortable. But living a life filled with routines that keep you
doing the same thing every day, waiting for Friday to show up, is
not a fulfilling one.
You might feel
comfortable at best, but not fulfilled.
To a thriving enthusiast,
however, Friday is just another day of the week, and no week looks
the same. But inside the comfort zone, there's order and continuity,
repetitions and structure.
The safety net is clearly
Nevertheless, structure can be a powerful tool. Healthy habits can
create some great groundwork from which we may operate in safety and
For example, I would not
want to step outside my perfectly planned environment for writing
any of my books, nor would I spend the time I set aside for silence
and gratitude to be anything but calm and safe.
But, when I am looking
for growth and learning, I always challenge myself.
It makes perfect sense
that a new perspective, a new skill and a new mindset has to come
from stretching outside of familiarity and certainty - that anything
new must come from a new perspective.
And in the same way, new
learning is easier to accomplish where you are more alert and on
The comfort zone might sound pleasant enough, and at times it will
be, but even though we feel comfortable we might be hurting
ourselves. As with false beliefs and the resistance to change, we
can easily be held back from growth opportunities by our own pain
How sweet it is to wallow
in our own sorrow, and to be comfortably able to say 'no' to
anything that will take our focus from our truth.
The more and longer we stay within our zone, the smaller it tends to
get, and the harder it is to step outside. We get even more
comfortable, lazy and cluttered with false beliefs.
As it shrinks, the
further away the magic learning and growing zone will feel.
The wall gets higher, and
harder to climb. This invisible wall that we have built, with the
help from some friends and the good old programming. A lifelong
project in the making, from shying away from uncertainty, and
believing the crap about not being good enough, smart enough or boss
What a hoax...!
We are all expansion and
flowering material. We are all fabulous amazing beings, able to
break free from any imaginary zone. If we choose to stay strapped to
our comfort, we will never find our true potentials, and never
experience what we're capable of achieving.
Any learning happens
outside that zone. Whenever you start anything new, like a hobby,
learn a new language, take up a new sport, or start a new job,
you are operating outside your safety zone...
Becoming more of who you really, truthfully are,
requires stretching and bending. Limits must be pushed. Comfortable
has to step aside for uncomfortable. Uneasy has to do for a while,
and the safety net will have to go.
This is not about jumping
off a cliff, or doing something far from your interest or calling,
on the contrary, it is about moving closer to your passions and your
somewhat out of character now and then will build some muscle, this
is about stretching to grow more into who you already are. Like
polishing that diamond, and learning your most hidden potentials.
Stretching is most often
not extreme, it is more like a widening of the horizon.
The comfort zone will
grow in the process.
"Expand your zone
so that you can spread your
8 Side Effects
of Zone-Free Living
You will realize
that fear is overrated.
The most common
statement that follows having done something scary and
seemingly risky, is,
The fear itself
is often what we are most afraid of.
The false belief
that fear is something we should run from will also change,
as you realize that the world did not come to an end, and
You will grow
Nothing is more
empowering than conquering some longs standing obstacles.
Be it the
resistance to take the leap towards starting a health
regime, moving house or starting your own business. Maybe
you want to sell everything you own, to start a life journey
of travelling the world, or you simply want to ask someone
that you really like, out on a date.
It does not
matter, you will grow, and your horizon will broaden. The
first step is always the hardest one, but it will promote
the hunger for more. As your comfort zone grows, or as you
let go of the zone all together, growth becomes constant.
A seed has been
Now, all you've
got to do is water and nourish it.
You will become
your own boss.
The position was
always ours, although we so easily give it away, or try to
give it away. We talk about taking back our power, as if it
was ever gone.
I don't believe
it ever was. It sure does feel like it is taken back, but it
was always there, although hidden or suppressed. It becomes
easy to hide behind someone else's flaws and shortcomings,
when we feel small and inferior in our own lives.
have always been the one that you have been waiting for.
You have always
been what you have been searching for, but now it will
become even clearer to you, and feel more How empowering and
You will get more
enthusiastic and lose the regrets.
There are several
sayings in this direction of thought.
believe in this to be very true.
that arises from stepping onto new ground, while realizing
that your life is better for it, is contagious. It will
easily encourage you to stretch more, and to get to know
yourself even better.
We will never
regret having tried, once we see the benefits that it will
becomes a path to success.
The whole concept
of comfort changes. Why is it that for some, comfort is the
absolute hiding place, yet for others, it is the plague they
fear more than anything?
There are base
jumpers and extreme sport enthusiasts that put their lives
on the line every single day.
They shy away
from what feels like confinement and lack of true feelings.
They chase the high from living on the edge. Like a drug,
they crave the adrenaline rush that they experience from
stretching to their limit. They literally get high.
This is the other
side of the pendulum, the extreme hunger for more, never
seeming to get satisfied.
It can become an
addiction. While the term discomfort has different meanings
for different people, in the light of comfort zones, we know
going outside can feel painful.
training and practicing of stretching, will condition us to
recognize even discomfort as something valuable.
You will feel
less anxiety and stress.
How can doing
something that might push you into anxiety and stress, help
you? I was almost paralyzed by anxiety for several years.
From being physically debilitated, I suffered greatly on
and emotional are all one, connected through our energetics,
organs and glands. By walking through your fire, you will
break free from the hold that any anxiety has on you.
outside your zone, you will feel empowered to take care of
your health on every level. It will benefit the rest of your
No stressful live
is ever a healthy one.
You will inspire
People are always
looking for guidance and direction. By living your truth and
growing as a person, you will become a powerful inspiration
to those around you.
We tend to look
towards those who have done what we seek to achieve. Your
life will be fulfilled with a new joy from influencing
others to also take a leap of faith. To be able to be a
way-shower and a mentor.
One of the
greatest blessings of my life is to be able to inspire
You will need no
one's approval ever again.
You will be done
searching for validation. What a relief! You have
experienced firsthand that it is all up to you. Not to do
alone, but to take charge of You know that you are enough,
that you can try anything without being afraid of failure.
You know that
success and magic happens outside the comfort zone. Your
zone just took a hike, as you stepped up and claimed your
You are limitless
and your everyday life will reflect on that.
"If you ever want to
and achieve anything out of the
that will reflect your true
step outside the zone."
Incorporate a zone-free life where stretching is a part of your
growth and bullshit-free living.
Play in all areas of your
possibilities, and let no anxiety, or perceived zone of the masses,
hold you back from your amazingness and extraordinaire.
Once the illusion that
you have anything to fear by feeling a bit uncomfortable or anxious
at times is gone, you are truly free to live.
Our lives are not
confined by any rules that hold back our creative and passionate
exploration. They are all illusionary and false. Take back your
boldness and step onto your stage.
To expand through your everyday living, start by changing some of
your routines. Break a habit, and look for other, and maybe even
better ways to do things. If you are usually sedentary, move more.
Get away from the
computer or the TV, and find some activities to get you moving. If
you are very active, always in motion running around, unwind, take a
Relax and be more still.
Take some "me" time. If you are shy, get out more, and if you don't
like to be alone, practice. Read more books. Reading what others are
saying and have experienced can be uplifting and inspiring.
Knowledge is power, and
by knowing better we can do better.
Go out dancing and shake
it up. Be more childish, and tell more jokes. The next time you go
to a restaurant, try something you have never had before. Help
someone in need, or volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen.
Count your blessings and
serve at the same time.
Sing a little
louder, walk longer, aim higher and dance more often.
Smile wider, laugh louder, invest more truthfully and
Step out of any
false belief that you are less than magnificent, and
stay humble for the opportunities that unfold in front
We often care too
much, about outcomes, about others, and about our own
lack of ability. Care a little less about the things
that matter the least.
Nothing is standing
between you and your ability to just not give a damn...