LIBER DxM
The Cough Syrup Hypothesis

Wherein We Grok the Magickal Elixir

C18H25NO
Dextromethorphan Hydrobromide

Over-The-Counter Gateway to the Gods
- via -
-=:::[ The Rite of Robo ]:::=-

Liber DxM,

1998

by Rhd. Blue Resonant Human, Ph.D.
 

Abstract

"Dr. Richard Dawkins claims too much (íMemes and the Evolution of Culture,í 28 Oct., p. 208) when he says íAll biologists nowadays believe in Darwinís theoryí. There is a sizable minority of equally qualified biologists who reject the theory outright. In the U.S., for example, several hundred voting members of the Creation Research Society, who must have at least a MSc, and include many biologists, prefer the Genesis account on scientific grounds."
-J.H. Broughton, Letters to the Editor
The New Scientists, Nov. 11, 1976, p. 355

Just as the Darwinian theory of evolution has slowly yet inexorably embedded itself as irrefutable dogma in the collective unconscious of virtually all those inculcated by modern materialistic scientism, so we have witnessed a growing trend amongst the latter-day UFOlogical community to canonize the Extra-terrestrial hypothesis (hence, "ETH") as sacrosanct dogma; discharging with all diligence our Sacred and Sacerdotal duties as Scientists to protect with our very credibility that which the Priesthood has deemed Holy and True.

It is our duty as Scientists to guarantee that even though both perspectives remain merely theories -- due to a lack of substantive corroborative evidence one way or the other -- they are nevertheless increasingly accepted as Scientific Fact amongst an ever-growing community of researchers and hobbyists alike. Yet in the interests of Science, our purpose now is merely to inject a new meme into the machinery and, in so doing, cause us all to question the fundamental framework of our culture-bound assumptions.


The Three Blind Men and the Elephant


As Scientists, our job is to place labels on things we simply do not understand. This is what we do, for when we have succeeded in labeling a thing, we have removed itís mystery -- rendered impotent the conceivable threat of the unknown -- and forced it to conform to our culturally inculcated assumptions on the nature of things in general. Indeed, we are paid great sums and esteemed in high regard for performing precisely this function, and thereby enabling our fellow man to sleep more peacefully at night.


Some things, however, are more resistant to effective labeling than others. Flying Saucers and Space Aliens, for example, are two subjects which arrogantly defy our feeble attempts at labeling, yet label them we must, for we are Scientists!

So, in that we are simply not permitted to accept unresloved ambiguity, we must go to great lengths in our attempts to lasso the stray phenomena and mash it into the narrowminded constraints of our Scientific test-tubes; often contorting ourselves into absurd caricatures as we struggle desperately to bend the data to suit our tastes:

Dr. Mack assuages our fears by assuring us the rectum-coring visitors have our best ecological interests at heart while Dr. Jacobs informs us the parasitic intruders are not at all the diabolical incubae and succubae of old but merely space alien scientists whoíve travelled countless lightyears across the vast reaches of space to pilfer our cum and ram strange probes up our behinds.

 

Meanwhile, Dr. Persinger contends that the entire space alien enigma is all merely a neurophysiological knee-jerk response to electromagnetic burps emanating from the seismically-distended belly of Mama Gaia and Dr. Greer encourages us all to think happy little thoughts at the incoming Martians so theyíll be more inclined to allow flashlight-laden New Agers (those with enough money to afford his pricey training seminars, that is) to "vector them in," apparently incapable of landing on their own without plowing their unruly saucers into conveniently remote, military-controlled deserts just a few parsecs east-west of Area 51.

It all gets rather confusing after awhile so weíve decided to qualify the various hypotheses and force them to march single-file before the harsh and unyielding disciplinarian of the Scientific Method, to wit, the following table:

  • ETH -- Extraterrestrial Hypothesis
    Aliens from outer space are visiting us via space ships
     

  • EAH -- Evil Alien Hypothesis
    Aliens from outer space are raping our women, buggering our boys, and feasting upon certain bovine "naughty bits"
     

  • SBH -- Space Brother Hypothesis
    Aliens from outer space have come to save us from ourselves
     

  • UTH -- Ultra Terrestrial Hypothesis
    Entities from other dimensions have reified in this dimension
     

  • FMH -- Faerie/Magonia Hypothesis
    Elves, faeries, goblins, leprechauns, incubae, etc. are now seen through our culturally-inculcated perceptual framework as being science-fiction aliens from outer space
     

  • BDH -- Borderline Deficit Hypothesis
    Certain individuals who lack a firm grip on consensus reality tend to confabulate bizarre phantasmagoria
     

  • EMH -- ElectroMagnetic Hypothesis
    Tectonic stress has produced a wide range of bizarre phenomena such as balls-of-light, etc. which are mistaken for space aliens
     

  • TLH -- Temporal Lobe Hypothesis
    Persingerís self-absorbed neurophysiological tautology
     

  • MCH -- Mind Control Hypothesis
    Renegade Paperclip Nazi MK-Ultra scientists have for decades performed heinous experiments upon unwitting victims and covered their atrocities by implanting hypnotically-induced false memories of "space alien abductions"
     

  • HEH -- Hollow-Earth Hypothesis
    Earth is hollow and the inner regions are occupied teros, deros, reptoids and WWII Nazis who escaped the long arm of the law
     

  • ARH -- Ashtar/Ramtha Hypothesis
    Clever discarnates have employed culture-appropriate sophistry, masquerading as space aliens, in order to "walk-in" to naive New Agers and channel(tm) their pulp-fiction to those apparently incapable of rational independent thought
     

  • HAH -- Hypnotic Artifact Hypothesis
    Amorous psychologists hide behind the apron of a hypnotically inculcated space alien Weltanschauung to nail their clients (i.e. "Look into my eyes ... you are on board a UFO and I am a space alien, now bend over because here comes my íprobe,í" etc.)
     

  • UFH -- Us from the Future Hypothesis
    In the future, when we finally get around to inventing time travel craft we come back to visit us now, proving once again that yesterday will be EXACTLY the same as tomorrow was.
     

  • CSH -- Cough Syrup Hypothesis
    So-called space alien abductions are merely vestigial hallucinogenic artifacts; side-effects of dextromethorphan-induced psychosis

It is this latter hypothesis -- the CSH -- with which we shall concern ourselves during the course of this scholarly monograph.


The Cough Syrup / Space Alien Connection


How is it that we initially embarked upon such obscure research? And without the funding of L. Rockefeller or B. Bigelow, how could we even think of pursuing such a monumental task as this? Well, it all started with a rather nasty case of the flu, you see. That, and the Helpful Aliens of the Third Plateau!


From the DxM FAQ we witness the following subspace briefing:

8.2.5 :: Contact with Alien and Spiritual Beings
Many people report contact with alien and spiritual beings, deities, and free-floating consciousnesses during upper plateau trips, notably during out-of-body experiences and the dissociative spiral. It has been suggested by Jaynes (350), Persinger (330-349), and others that these entities may be fragments of oneís own subconscious mind that one is suddenly perceiving consciously. Curiously enough, deities seem to be more commonly female than male. I have no clue why this is the case.


There is also a more complex dissociative effect involving a unique, consistent set of beliefs about, for lack of a better term, an alien conspiracy; see Section 8.3 below.

8.3 :: Cosmic Coincidence Central and the Alien Conspiracy
Everyone take a deep breath, weíre about to jump off into the deep end. Many people who have frequently used DXM or other dissociatives [such as Terrence McKennaís beloved DMT -B:.B:.] begin to develop consistent contact with "aliens" (with all due skepticism, these are probably elements of oneís subconscious mind that have taken on characteristics of independent consciousness). Regardless of the cause, one particular subset of these aliens seem to have surprisingly consistent behavior and intentions. Here, basically, is the message that can be pieced together from dissociative users.

There are numerous groups of entities or aliens, but two in particular are relevant. One group, the "helpful aliens", are attempting to guide humankind towards societal and spiritual progress with the ultimate intention that we become so far advanced that we can leave behind the earth (and possibly the physical world), and join a vast, intergalactic federation of other races. In order to keep us from blowing ourselves up or slipping into societal chaos, these helpful aliens do what they can to keep us on the right track.

However, there are limits, either by some sort of convention or law, or by the nature of non-corporeal existence, to what these aliens can do. For example, they probably canít show up in big mother-ships and announce peace on earth; they canít suddenly make all guns and bombs disappear. They seem to be able to influence human progress only by means that appear as coincidence, such as fortuitous events, sudden insights and inspirations, luck, and that sort of thing. Some people have suggested that these íhelpful aliensí are bending some sort of "law" by helping us out, and they can only do it as long as it canít be absolutely proven that they interfered with our progress.

Then there are the "not-so-helpful aliens". Not necessarily evil, but totally unconcerned with our race, and unconvinced that we are worth the trouble of helping. Some would say that they view us as we view ants, and would have no qualms about exterminating us if they felt it wise to do so. They too are restricted to operating primarily through coincidence.

Anyone who has studied the belief systems and religions of the world will of course notice that these sets of aliens are nothing new. They are also angels and devils, good and evil spirits, and that sort of thing. There is a great deal of correspondence with the Seelie and Unseelie court of the faeries.

So we are left once again with a part of human consciousness that we donít understand, that is profoundly irrational, and that keeps stubbornly making itself known regardless of how much science and reason we try to cling to. A lot of people have these experiences, on drugs or not (or maybe the ones who arenít on drugs are connected to an "inner pharmacist" of sorts, the secretion of chemicals like endopsychosin which mimic the dissociatives).

Some people have developed surprisingly complex theories about these aliens and their goals and methods. Sometimes the aliens give their names. One person was contacted by an alien named Calsutmoran who said he was from "very far away" (pers. comm.), and explained the Cosmic Coincidence Theory. What is surprising is that someone else, who had never heard this story, also reported contact with an alien of the exact same name.

In conclusion, while I donít necessarily think weíre pawns in some weird game of the aliens or spirits, I do think thereís a part of the human mind that we donít understand, that may be receiving, and transmitting, information in ways we do not recognize. This doesnít necessarily require any ESP or other psychic powers; it could be as simple as gestures, tone of voice, and other factors that we use in communication that we are not directly aware of. I expect the next decade or two will see some truly rigorous investigation of these topics, and I eagerly await the results.

So we see that in the interstitial realm of the otherwise elusive Cough Syrup Aliens, there exists the same rather Manichean model of ideologies. We have the "helpful cough syrup aliens" vs. the "not-so-helpful cough syrup aliens" just as the magickal community has their Great White Brotherhood vs. The Black Lodge, the Judeo-Christian camp sports their God vs. Satan model, the saucer nuts root for the Sirians and Pleiadeans to win against the Reptoids and Draconians and the Hollow-Earthers cast their lots with the Teros as opposed to the Deros.

Light vs. Darkness, Good vs. Evil, Service-to-Others vs. Service- to-Self, Robitussin vs. Laudanum -- no matter the model, the same Manichean dynamic seems to be at play, perhaps just as Thoth/Hermes informed us was the case; "As above, so below."


About DXM

What is DXM?
DXM in low doses is an effective cough suppressant. Iíve used it many times (consistent with its labeling) when Iíve had a bad cough. In higher doses, DXM can be a highly powerful psychedelic drug. On lower recreational doses, itís great for guided meditation or, possibly, a fun evening. In higher recreational doses, it is a full blown psychedelic experience. DXM is not a great party drug and is best, in my opinion, for inward exploration. It lasts between 6-10 hours with a slight hangover during the next day. Hangovers, though, are hit or miss. Some people get them sometimes, some donít.


What will I experience?
After taking a typical 3rd plateau dose, one could experience all, none, or some of the following:

  • A (sometimes unpleasant) feeling of knowing oneís true self.

  • Possible recollections of sweet/painful memories, feelings, etc. that one hasnít remembered in years, possibly childhood memories. Though they usually arenít specific (not one particular memory could be exhibited), they are still powerful.

  • A true love for everything. Empathy is a common DXM trait.

  • Strange things really seem to make sense. Though most seem stupid, I am positive that they are somehow connected to the sub-conscious. This is comparable to a dream. Most dreams seem pointless and stupid at face value, but all dreams hold symbols of the subconscious.

  • Sometimes, EVERYTHING makes sense. Connections can be seen throughout everything. If a person remembers these connections after the trip, they will make even greater connections when applied to everyday (sober) life.

  • Disoriented feelings of being very small, surrounded by a huge world around you. This world is an enhancement of the room/environment you are in.

  • Various physical/visual/auditory feelings. Sound seems very strange. Some people think sounds are remarkable on DXM (crystal clear, and very ambient), others think sounds sound cheap and "plastic". Sounds can be comparable to having ears all over the body, thus sound can be heard from every part of the body and from every direction.

  • Dilated pupils, the (in)famous robo walk, the drippy feeling (feeling like you are a thick fluid), and other typical DXM characteristics.

How is DXM measured?
The level of DXM is measured in milligrams (in physical amount) and in plateaus. DXM is unique in that as the dosage increases, the power of the drug does not increase drastically, rather different things happen with different doses. With one drug, as the dosage increases, the same things happen, yet they are more and more powerful, this is not the case with DXM.


There are four major "plateaus," the 1st being the lowest in dosage, and the 4th being the highest.

1st plateau (100-250mg):
Great for conversation, yet can be a powerful trip. It all depends on the mindset. Usually one is very empathetic, and has great insights to everything. Also, the physical aspects (robo walk, the drippy feeling, etc) are present.

2nd plateau (250-450mg):
All the effects of the 1st plateau are present, with the addition of more euphoria, a decreased sense of time and a decreased sense of surroundings.

3rd plateau (450-800mg):
Many of the effects of the first two plateaus are present, yet they seem to take on a totally different "shape". This is hard to explain. Visual (closed-eye-visual, mostly) hallucinations are present, mostly spirals, or visions of fluid. Insights are extraordinary. One may tend to shut him/herself away from other people in order to explore themselves at this plateau. This is definitely not a party plateau. Iíve found that this plateau could be some sort of "transition" between the physical and the mental that occurs on some sort of "highway". The spiraling shapes and the fluid could be the highway that the transition is made on. This is often comparable to space. While on this highway, thoughts and feelings of oneís life will pop up. General thinking becomes deeper and more enhanced.

4th plateau (800-1800mg):
The highway can be crossed at this plateau. What is on the other side of the highway could be anything. Alien encounters, out of body experiences, etc are not uncommon. I donít have to mention that the 4th plateau is not for beginners. Note that anything above 1200mg is really dangerous and should not be done without close access to a hospital and a smart trip-sitter. Actually, for all intents and purposes, it shouldnít be done over 1000mg.

5th plateau (1800mg-???):
There have been some reports of a 5th plateau. They include nothing of what is typically a DXM trip. It involves profuse sweating, extreme nausea, and blackouts. After effects can last up to 2 days afterwards. This is pretty much a DXM OVER-overdose. Obviously, this is not fun. Iíve only included it here because there is a distinct point beyond the fourth plateau where all the fun effects of DXM are replaced by negative effects. I call it "the point of no return". Unless you want to go through a physical and mental hell, donít try and hit this point.
 

CSH/ETH (DXM/EBE) Similarities


Just as we have varying degrees of contact with the DXM-induced "alternate reality," so the UFOlogical experience, under the Scientific guidance of Project BlueBookís Dr. J. Allen Hynek cobbled together a similar classification matrix.
 

Close Encounters of the first kind (CE1, CEI):

As first defined by Hynek, a CE1 is an observation of a UFO within 150 yards.

An explanation written while on DXM (first plateau):

Dxm is a wierd thing. It occurs in waves, much like everything in life. There are times where I need to get up and do something, then there are times where everything appears to be normal. Underneath all that, there is a blanket of lucidity and wideness.


I was telling my friend the other day, while we were high on a small dxm trip, that it was like taking normality and pulling some of it out, like lets say normality is a stick. You add some more normality to that stick of normality. The thing is, this normality is a different, odd, synthetic-almost, normality. That is a small scale dxm trip. Itís taking normality and living on the edge of it and staying there for a while.

Close Encounters of the second kind (CE2, CEII):
A UFO which leaves some form of physical evidence. Example: A burn where the UFO appeared to touch the ground or the finding of material of unknown makeup.

Close Encounters of the third kind (CE3, CEIII):
A visual sighting of an occupant or entity associated with a UFO. An analysis by Hynek of 650 reports found only 1% to be CE3. These entities are sometimes called "UFOnauts." As well as entities seen inside a craft, entities have been described as sampling soil, rocks and plants or might communicate with the witness. These witnesses are sometimes referred to as contacteťs. As well as communication, the witness may report that they were invited on board a craft or even taken for a trip.

In similar fashion, we observe some fairly standard Third Plateau phantasmagoria in the journal of the Swedish researcher/experiencer Agaton Sachs XIII:

With my eyes closed, Iíd usually get either something resembling computer generated repetitive patterns in 3 dimensions (like you can get quite easily from ketamine), and sometimes Iíd feel like I levitated and as I did this, I saw a blurry image of a globe disappearing in the distance, and as I lost my concentration, Iíd slowly return by the same path closer to the globe.

Another common visual effect would be the feeling of being inside the movie tron (another effect more prominent from ketamine), and seeing weird 3-dimensional stuff, almost like inside the big alien mother-ship in independence day. Once I also felt like I was floating above the water outside a big city late at night, with lots of skyscrapers with small lights in every window, which, however, seemed a bit unrealistic.

And report a more specific 3P experience in the following:

  • Experience with 600mg (3rd plateau)

  • Dosage: 20 coricidin pills-600mg

  • Weight: 155

[While peaking] ... I instantly fell into darkness, I felt like I was a spirit. I closed my eyes, and it was like I was in space. All of the sudden it felt like I left my body. Almost like some one had poured my soul and spirit out of my body, because I knew that something was missing. I was numb all over. I was my spirit. I was flying around my mind. In a vast space. It was a very enlightening. Almost like a spiritual experience. I felt like I was one with every thing. Then soon after that, it felt like I was just floating in space, and I was traveling from one part of space to another in one second. I felt like I was going at the speed of light, because I saw all these little starts [sic] that where [sic] blurred when I moved in this vast space. Like in Star Wars when they travel at the speed of light all the stars stretch and so forth. Thatís what I saw and it was truly [sic] amazing.

Astute observers may note additional similarities at this point as well. Specifically, though there are exceptions to every rule, there appears to be a common thread of marginal literacy which insidiously weaves itís way through the ostensibly disparate camps of both the space alien abduction experiencers and the eager DXM enthusiasts.

Close Encounters of the fourth kind (CE4, CEIV):
An abduction of an individual by an alien being or race. The most famous of these being the abduction of Betty and Barney Hill in September 1961. (Hynek included this case in his CE3 category.) Although in recent years abductions have, because of their spectacular nature, received a great deal of publicity, they constitute only a small proportion of all UFO reports, just as there are far fewer reports of 4th(+) Plateau DXM experiences.

[Note: Like DXM experiences past the Third Plateau, this area remains largely uncharted Scientifically, and is therefore subject to such contaminants as experiencer confabulation and "mythological overlay" -- a clearly unScientific situation which arises when the Scientist attempts to superimpose a schematic of his own cosmological Weltanschauung upon the experiences of another (cf. Jacobs, Boylan, Mack, Greer, etc.) It is for these reasons that the Fourth(+) Plateau and CE4(+) experiences, which exceed the constraints of the approved Scientific models of Dr. Hynek and the eminent B.R. Human (et al), are subject to differing classification criteria imposed by differing researchers, and may therefore mean different things to different individuals.]

A 4th plateau experience (pure DXM 850-900mg) by "Robofreak":
As an experienced dxm user, I decided to go onto another level the other night. I sent away to this dude who sold me 5g. of dxm powder. I decided to take about 850-900mg. of pure dxm to experience something more. Not that the normal, lower doses werenít a great experience, but I really needed a journey into myself, deeper into the realms of what is real.


It began with the normal feelings of being in an alian [sic] world, all of the questions and answers swimming through my brain. Then I saw the portal into the next world that had all of the worlds inner workings floating in it. I entered it with great expectations.

I must say, it wasnít like I was tripping, it was more like my soul had left my body and was swimming through space. I had no feeling of my body whatsoever. I had no recollection of my current life, just what was before me. This feeling is in no comparison to the effects of any drug I have taken.

I don't know if I could call this an out of body experience, because it was nothing like the stories of this happening. The body almost had no relevance at all to the experience.

It would take me all night to explain in detail what happened to me, but it envolved [sic] visits to alien cities, conversations with unknown beings, and self exploration from all points of view.

Close Encounters of the fifth kind (CE5, CEV):
Sometimes used to represent a direct contact or communication with an alien being or race. For example: Billy Meier with the Pleiadians, U.S. Govt. with the Greys, or channeling.

Other researchers have used this classification for strange beings that have been reported, but without the obvious presence of a ícraftí. These beings are generally seen in the witnesses house at night. Their description is similar to the beings seen associated with UFOs in abduction and contactee cases. Sometimes they are called íbedroom visitorsí, the same set of reports have been classified as CE0 (zero) and CE9 by other groups of researchers.
 

Some DXM / Space Alien Experiences


As further proof of the validity of the proposed CSH, we offer these experiences which prove beyond any reasonable doubt that it is unnecessary to employ Swannís Remote Viewing, Puthoffís ZPE Antigrav Propulsion, Greerís patented Koch/Kyborg Pyramidal Visualisation, Boylanís HotTub Hypnosis or even Hubbardís Xenu Auditing Technologies to invoke contact with the aliens. In fact, one need go no further than the corner 7-11 to secure a reliable comm-link with the space alien intelligences.
 

Initiation via The Rite of Robo:

DXM -- Cord of Life
Hereís an account of my fourth DXM experience, the first I tried that would correspond to the "4th plateau". The experience itself happened several months ago, but I just wrote it up from initial notes today.


1200 mg of DXM were ingested on an empty stomach in the form of 40 Drixoral gelcaps.

Waiting for the effects to take hold, I worked on some noise compositions with my 4-track recorder. After about 45 minutes, I felt nauseated and as though I had a fever. I no longer had the ability or desire to concentrate on my compositions, so I set the recorder aside and lay back on the bed.

The nausea and feelings of vague but potent physical discomfort increased. I wondered if the dosage would be too much for me to handle. Some ten minutes later, I stumbled drunkenly to the bathroom and vomited. The discomfort vanished almost immediately; I returned to bed, no longer afraid of being unable to handle the experience.

I do not remember how long it took me to become almost fully dissociated from my body, nor do I remember what happened during the process. Soon, however, I found myself beholding fully three-dimensional crystalline formations, the components of which rotated slowly in synch with one another. Behind the formations there seemed to be a void of infinite space, which flashed strobe-like in brilliant colors.

As the formations rotated, they changed and evolved, always producing beauty and symmetry with mathematical precision, determinacy, and clarity. Only vaguely aware of my body, I felt as though I was soaring through the patterns at unimaginable speeds. Gradually, I moved through the crystalline formations: they seemed to each contain the enormity of the universe itself.

My speed increased, as did the gradual loss of a sense of identity. The patterns gave way to more abstract but no less colorful patterns: wave upon wave of interference patterns, cyclones of flashing colors and spirals that swallowed me. After some time, the boundary between myself and the patterns dissolved almost completely.

Now my being -- which was really a universal "we" as opposed to an individual identity -- seemed to contract into a single point then explode outward countless times, the infinity of space and time and perception and being contained within each explosion. "We" were the whole of the multidimensional universe collapsing upon itself and exploding outward over eons of unimaginable time, terrified, relentless, ecstatic. Once in awhile the explosions resulted in vortices, through which something utterly "alien" seemed to emerge.

I recall approaching and merging with these "alien beings" several times, though I do not recall what happened during the merge itself. One such being I recall only in association with a sense of vastness and strange angularity, like a huge mountain tapering to a perfect point.

Sometime later (I do not remember how long), a sense of identity as well as an awareness of my body returned -- at first in brief moments, then for longer episodes. During these moments, I asked "who am I?" I received a flood of intuitive information, very little of which I was able to comprehend rationally. The gist of the matter, however, was that I was both an individual and the whole of creation; both the creator and the created, and that this is true for all beings.

Remembering that viewing my self and life from my first DXM experience had been one of the most emotionally profound experiences of my life, I attempted to do so again. Now I had a vision of myself as a ribbon or cord wrapped around itself and around other cords. The cords traced the history of my life, and once again I felt an all-encompassing compassion and love for that life, self, and everything within it. Again, I was aware of the possibility of abandoning it and not returning to it, and it struck me as the most precious of all things; I was even more horrified at the thought of leaving it than I had been on the first time.

To see if I could identify the "cord" of another -- for the universe had become a network of these cords -- I "called" to my friend Betty. I witnessed her cord and mine separating from a common cord, then rejoining each other in a dance or braiding, yet still retaining their separate identities.

This aspect of the experience was emotionally overwhelming in a way that I really cannot convey; when I chose to end the experience, I did so because I could no longer bear its sheer intensity.

I managed to open my eyes; the sunlight made the room appear maddeningly bright. I could recognize few features: the room was a patchwork collage of textures, shapes, and colors that were sparkling, glittering, and pulsating.

When I closed my eyes, it seemed I still had them open and was looking at the ceiling. I guarantee that I was not and to block out the light, I placed my elbow over my eyes.

Now what looked as though it were the ceiling gently fell apart into chunks of abstract shapes. The shapes "morphed" into other ceilings of other rooms similar to my own. Just as each one attained such a level of coherency and clarity that I felt I would be able to stand up and walk around, the room would fall apart then reform into another. One such room attained coherency for longer than the rest; it was dimly lit, as though by candle light, and it seemed to be some sort of basement. There were three others in the room, watching me -- I wondered if I was experiencing some sort of alternate self, who was also experimenting with dissociative states, but in the presence of others. In this room, I was able to sit up for a moment -- how odd it was to sit up and look about me while still feeling the weight of my elbow over my eyes.

Two times, perhaps more, the rooms transformed into seemingly "alien universes". Once, I found myself beneath a tree of huge orange flowers. Each blossom had a face; three of them were watching me, remarking without speaking about what a ridiculous sight I was. Another time, I was running through a labyrinth of stones that were somehow plant-like and alive. I understood that I was searching for God within the labyrinth; the labyrinth seemed to reply that God could never be found within it, though the path I took through the labyrinth in my search WAS God.

I still wondered, nonetheless, whether I could "call" some representation of Divinity to my presence. The shapes formed an angular and somewhat abstract illustration of a female, crone-like face. The face, like the rooms, cycled relentlessly from one form to another. I tried to speak to the face, but the visions seemed too incoherent to produce a response -- though I got the impression the incoherency itself was an aspect of my own being.

After some time of this, I regained enough awareness of my body to stay in the here-and-now for as long as I chose. I managed to pick up and dial a phone to call my friend Li to come by or pick me up -- I felt somewhat shell-shocked from this experience and no longer wished to be alone.
 

DXM Religious Experiences:
Just as many space alien abductees report alleged interactions with religious figures ("BVM," "The One," angels, etc.), there is, of course, an analogue amongst the DXM hobbyists. The following is an example of such an encounter.

DOSE : 25 Drixol Caps
Wednesday night I took a trip on the DXM express. I took 25 caps of Drixol "Cough" at 7:00 pm. It took a little over an hour to hit.... in 2 hours I was flying. I did so many things I cannot describe.

I saw God...

I went into this room. I was "told" that it was his "room". I walked around a corner in the entrance... And He was standing there. I was scared to death. He appeared 50ish. with short dark hair (parted on his left.) He was not handsome in any way. But He looked distinguished and very confident, and gracious. He knew that I was scared to death. He then held out his hand and shook my hand. He said "Hi ... have a seat". We sat down and had some small talk. And then I was lead away. He looked slightly Jewish. More like a cross between my Father and a older Me. One thing I was made aware of.... He had nothing to warn me about... nothing to scold me about... and He was glad to see me. He seemed proud of me... and He seemed very supportive.

I saw myself... I understood my personality.... It scared the shit out of myself. Every layer of my mind was pealed off... until my first (child) thoughts were left. I saw that my current personality is basically just the way I hide my insecurities.

Now when Iím flying through D space I feel pretty safe... In fact Iím pretty cocky. Partially because of my mind training... and partially because of by previous beliefs about spirits. I may be temporarily scared.... but I know Iíll be OK. Well I ran into this bald black guy. He was living on this real cool platform that contained his living quarters. There was no roof ... and no completely enclosed rooms. But he appeared not only wealthy but powerful and wise. He saw how cocky I was.... He challenged me: He said "I know you are more powerful than me... But let me show you what I know about you." Then He said, "Look into my eyes and Iíll show you how weak you are." I looked into his eyes.... and I saw myself again. This time I saw what a small, predictable, lazy, insignificant being I was. Then I backed away from him. I didnít want to see any more. I was humiliated. Then I knew.... even though I could kick his ass... that He could hurt me in other ways. I understood that I need to be a little more respectful toward those that I meet in D space.

Several times my thoughts and beliefs were challenged. I was amazed how scary this could be. It seemed that I felt slightly detached from what was going on... I felt kinda safe. Then... the trip seemed to start breaking rules... instead of me watching or observing... the trip sucked me into several realities that put be in threatening situations... and they became more real... like I couldnít tell what was real and what was a "vision". At one point I would live a complete life or "life thread" in the course of listening to one song. I could barely understand how to use the remote for the stereo.

All of a sudden I needed to pee. I was tripping like a son-of-a-bitch. I opened my eyes. .. and forced my feet down on the floor. I focused and moved each limb separately. I moved like a robot.... very stiff and deliberate. Iím not kidding. I moved like a robot. I finally got my pee done... and made it back to trip land.

The peak didnít last too long (it seemed.) I think this is because I drank a quart of cranberry juice about 5 hours before I took the D*M.

There was lots more. I bumped into a planet (or asteroid). The entire universe reality was destroyed... and another one took its place. I canít even describe all that I saw. Every thing that I believed in was destroyed... What else can I say.

God bless, Good Luck.... and good night.

DXM Missing Time and Aliens Posing as Friends or Relatives:
Again not to be outdone by the space aliens, the Clever Cough Syrup Critters have their own banquet of bizarre effects with which to aid in the consciousness unfoldment of the eager DXM percipient.

Another DXM Experience
by Pneyz of Ganja Digest


I took 1200mg of DXM right after my family left for the weekend. I then had to spend a good 10 minutes sitting by the porcelain smoothness of my toilet with a hand covering my gut and trying to suppress the urge to spew vomit onto the bath rug. When I felt sufficiently stabilized, I unplugged all the phones, clocks, and other noise-making objects I could find. I did not want to be disturbed.

I was feeling very relaxed and groovy in record time. However, Iím a very impatient person. I sat up suddenly while a hand was flying away as a bird to escape a snake/hand and struggled to find my stash of weed. I smoked two bowls and a Dee Tee, and was so stoned I barely realized that my time had come to embrace the entity known as dextromethorphan. I had almost forgotten the rush I get when the trip hits me. It does not come gradual to me. No. It comes as a train of pure knowledge, slamming into me with the force of a thousand synapses, crackling and firing and threatening to overwhelm my sensorium. Then abruptly, it was gone. I was rose tinted.

I also threw in a little Zen breathing exercise to quickly dissociate me from my body. I love those Zen guys, they invent the best stuff for stoners. I was concentrating on my breath and had already lost all feeling in my body below the nipples when I felt myself slipping away on a cloud of almost vaginal pinkness. My body was carried by green angels to a room where I was deposited on a rusty bed.

This was the sort of room that is featured in that wonderful feat of cinemography íTrainspottingí. It radiated degeneracy. I felt right at home and sat down on the bed (hearing it creak in helpless opposition as I did so). Soon, a triplet of people entered the room. Not through a door, but they entered just as naturally as you or me. Never mind the lack of entrances and exits. As I said, there were three. My friends Dan, Bryan, and Al. Dan and Bryan were there when I first dosed, and I had seen Al when I had my bad trip. They were deeply connected to my DXM experiences, and Bryan has magic powers, so I thought very little of their strange appearance and the fact that they were obviously fake, like those drawing you can get done in the mall of you and a friend for $5.

They sat cross-legged on a three-legged table and stared at me. I studied them happily, because I had the power to see beneath the skin, beneath the muscles and organs down to the very flow of electrical impulses that keep our fragile lives going on. Then, Al spoke. He said he was in Arizona having a damn good time racing dirt-bikes (I later found out that this was where he was when I had this experience, but I think he told me in advance). We all conversed back and forth about stuff that seemed entirely logical at the time. Then we reached one of those lulls in a conversation that seems entirely natural, where you all are just thinking over the othersí arguments. We were all standing around like that when Bryan started to move.

Slowly and deliberately, he started crawling down the side of the table like a spider. He reached the floor and started moving in strange ways. I sat there, intently studying his behavior, for future reference. For some reason, Dan then pulled a bucket out ("One for vomitus" - Renton) and told me to throw up in it. I did as he requested. The vomit process was utterly painless. Leaving me was a cool stream of mountain water, rushing through my chest cavity to fill me with icy freshness before leaving me in a way that made my chest feel like a load of bricks had been lifted. I looked up, and they were all gone except for a ghost image of Bryan, who flashed the 420 symbol as he vanished.

"Eyes Pop - Skin Explodes - Everybody Dead". Itís a song, and itís what happened next. I started to bulge in weird ways and lose bits and pieces of my body off into the limitless space through which I was now traveling. It seemed that my anatomy was setting out to disprove the fundamental laws that govern the elasticity of objects. I was stretching, but not in painful ways. My body had finally decided that it was partial to a ellipsoid shape, when I realized I was now traveling at a fair speed towards the center of a mottled green torus. I passed through the donut hole and fell out of the clouds onto earth.

I hit ground pretty hard. Hard enough that I could feel my organs arranging into geometrical patterns. I woke up. Fast. I came out of my bed and onto the floor in one fluid motion. The goggles were thrown off and I crouched there, dripping sweat and looking around with pupils the size of large dinner plates. It only took me a minute to regain my composure. I put on a robe and checked a clock in another room. I had been out for 3 hours. It felt like a lot more, but I wasnít surprised. By this time, I had regained control of everything and was planning on just kicking back and riding the crest of a massive DXM experience.

When my trip was over, I ate some Jalapeno bread, drank a lot of orange juice, relieved my bladder, and fell into a deep sleep. I woke up and inspected my room. Nothing was broken, nothing was disturbed. There was not a huge puddle of vomit on the floor as I had feared, leading me to believe that I had a total dissociative experience. It was fun, and it was very ... deep. Iím back on DXM now, and still loving life, the world, women, and drugs.

Until next time, Jah Love.

DXM Shamanic "Crossing of the Abyss" Experiences:

A vivid trip involving multiple substances
by Shostiru


Well, I tripped this weekend and went too far even for me. Psychoactives included approximately 360-400mg DXM HBr, 150-200ug LSD, regular use of fluoxetine (dosage not recalled), cigarettes, and possibly a bit of leftover harmaline from a previous nightís experiment. My body mass is 80kg.

It started with dinner at Z. and B.ís; B. made black bean burritos and I ate two (mistake number one). Then we all dropped; I took three hits, at Iím guesstimating 150-200ug (these werenít particularly strong hits of acid). Then shortly after I drank about one half of an 8oz bottle of RoboMax (yes, I know I should really be extracting the shit). This was a combination I had done before, at lower levels, and I had been quite impressed with the results. I also took a Coenzyme Q10 in an attempt to prevent any metabolic insult to my posterior cingulate and retrosplenial cortex, a matter about which I have recently become somewhat paranoid as a result of Olneyís findings.

The first 30 minutes were uneventful. Alert came at maybe 35-40 minutes into the experience. I felt a slight stiffness in my shoulders, or perhaps a need to move around. Within 15 minutes I started feeling gastrointestinal distress. I took 4mg loperamide, thanking the chemistry gods that it doesnít cross the blood-brain barrier.

At about dose+1hour, I started feeling the DXM kick in. I remember sitting in the bathroom, looking at the wooden door. As I sat there without moving, the patterns in the wood transformed into a fluid sculpture, then into a waterfall and finally into an incredibly beautiful place, with a waterfall, small rapids, delicate ferns and plants, and life all around. At this moment I knew something different would happen tonight.

For awhile after I honestly donít remember much (for reasons that will become clear later). I started feeling a little uneasy in the tummy, and tried more than once (unsuccessfully) to go to the bathroom. I finally ended up wandering outside ... and then I saw the moon.

The weather here occasionally takes on a particular form, in which delicate, wispy, and probably low-lying clouds are blown rapidly across the sky. In the night, under the full moon, this took on the appearance of an Aurora Borealis. Music was playing inside, and the rest of my companions were for the most part inside playing with trip toys, but I had come face to face with such incredible beauty that I could do nothing but stare in rapture, weeping.

As I regained consciousness of my more ordinary surroundings, I tried to smoke a cigarette. It tasted terrible and I could *feel* the natural world around me, almost as if it had a consciousness. It, or they, seemed puzzled that I would waste my time (and life) on such a boring and trivial drug, and I found myself having visions of how tobacco was originally used (when fresh, it is a strong hallucinogen and far too powerful of an experience to become addictive).

I began to look around me. I felt suddenly shocked that with such incredible beauty and energy around us, we as humans choose to spend our time in sterile and unnatural surroundings. It felt as if a black veil were dropping from my soul, or perhaps as if an evil spell were being banished. I could sense the life and joy around me in the trees, the clouds, the skies, and even the stars. There was life all around me, and I could suddenly see the pattern to it.

I realize now that this sounds hopelessly new-agey, but unlike some I have never had the belief that nature and the spiritual worlds are some safe, harmless playground and that all entities (physical or not) are basically here to love us. I began to realize that I as an individual, and we as humans, are just one thread in a much larger fabric, and that Nature (either as a collective or as her individual parts) wouldnít shed a tear if I were to vanish from life forever. Yet somehow that made me feel all the more important, to be a part of some greater construct.

I began to wonder about the nature of consciousness. What if what we regard as consciousness (perhaps awareness of oneself and the ability to exert will to change oneself or ones surroundings?) was a feature of many collective entities, such as insect colonies, weather patterns, or even the entire ecosystem? Or, perhaps what we *regard* as conscious behavior is simply a result of a complex, chaotic system which encodes (and "decides" based on) a great amount of state information kept as a feature of the nonlinear dynamic algorithm?

Perhaps we as humans were unique among animals in that we truly did control our *own* destiny as individuals. Maybe that was what the Fall of Man was all about -- we became conscious as individuals, rather than our "consciousness" (or more complex decision-making behaviors) residing in collective myths (spirits and deities). And perhaps, in these earlier times, our "higher" decision-making systems, those that are now essential for consciousness, propagated complex decision algorithms via song, myth, and shared belief in gods.

 

But with a continuous interplay between the decision system and the observer system, consciousness became possible. Perhaps with this constant interplay of awareness and observation, everyday life, common aches and pains, boredom, depression, and ennui are possible because we are constantly *aware* of them, i.e., they have constant emotional (or generally, internal state state) significance. A fall from paradise indeed! Then again, I had recently finished reading Jaynes, and was looking for potential explanations for the transition from bicameral to unicameral mind.

Chronology becomes difficult at this point. I remember looking at my surroundings, lifting my point of view above, and then seeing the entire scene in three dimensions. Three dimensions then expanded into four, and the realm of history and future stretched into a complex, four-dimensional fabric. Different possible futures (and occasionally different possible pasts) superimposed themselves like ghost-images. The entire thing morphed into a tremendously complex weaved fabric in state-space, each thread being a sliver of consciousness or spirit, but more fluid.

 

The "threads" were like rivulets of energy; they broke apart, combined, swirled around chaotically. I felt as if I could reach down and pluck one of the energy ribbons, move it out of place, but I saw in my mind how shock waves would ripple out from the point of my contact, and potentially have unforeseen consequences.

I became aware that all four of us were in our own ways grasping this loom and changing the patterns around us. I could hear Z. playing his guitar, I think (or maybe I just imagined it). It seemed as if he were using this instrument to make changes, both in us (and our consciousness) and in his own reality (and, so it seemed, ours as well).

Anyway, by this time I had started to feel a great deal of energy. The others came outside and Z. started to play his flute (I think I have the chronology correct here). The faint lights that were in the trees (which I have seen before sober, although only out of the corner of my eyes) started to grow in intensity. I noticed that the shadows were starting to move, and at first I suspected that a car was passing by (or a helicopter was flying overhead from the hospital; it was a sufficiently windy night that I thought someone might have run into a downed power line).

 

But I realized that the shadows were changing too fast and too irregularly. As I looked into the sky, I thought at first I saw meteors, and then for a moment had a vague and somewhat paranoid thought that bits and pieces of meteorite were falling from the sky. Then I truly saw them, the dancing lights, some tiny and sparkly, others like glowing, hazy balls of mist. They seemed to fly in complex yet significant patterns, perhaps following the contours of some imaginary clouds or field lines.

Then as I watched I heard them sing. They were singing to me, to us, and I heard them calling to me. A door opened up ahead of me -- not in real-space, but a spiritual door, one that I could not assign an image to but was aware of nonetheless. I reached forward for it with my mind and the world was flooded with light.

I became aware of other entities with me. The world changed and took on form, although I felt it was more for my benefit than that of the entities with me. Strangely enough I pictured myself in an ordinary-looking classroom, and the entities had become professors and were telling me that I was free to take the test if I liked, but that the price would be dear if I failed.

Awareness of my surroundings returned suddenly and I felt a gradual but steady buildup of energy. With it came a sudden nausea, and I managed to make it to the sink before puking my guts out. In my mind came the thought that there was a *reason* people often puked on psychedelics (at least the natural ones), and that somehow having food in oneís system during this sort of experience was a bad idea. I still felt bad for puking in B.ís sink though.

After puking my guts out I sat and felt miserable for a few minutes in a fit of self-loathing. I felt terrible for having taken essentially my own trip rather than participating with my friends and my wife, all of whom I love and care about deeply. I felt selfish, and yet I remembered the dream Iíd had the night before where I was told I was to learn an important lesson and that all would be made clear to me. I donít often put stock in this sort of thing, but I figured Iíd be better to say, what the hell, Iíll try, rather than ignore a potentially useful message from my subconscious (or wherever).

The energy buildup continued more quickly now. I felt that the food had been holding me back somehow. My entire body began to vibrate in a new way, not necessarily in any of the three dimensions we are accustomed to. A part of it was time-vibration (I felt as if I were vibrating forward and back in time very slightly, so that the net effect was alternating rapidly between sudden jumps forward in time and pauses). And a part of it was something entirely different. The vibrational states seemed quantized in that there were sudden jumps from one frequency and mode to another, rather than gradual transitions.

Eventually I noticed that I was twitching and then starting to shake along with the music (didgeridoo). The entire world was turning into pure light and color, and everything was dissolving into increasing power. I saw again the entity (or entities) I had seen before. They were gentle, like parents almost, and they seemed to be telling me something fairly complex. As near as I could tell, the message was that, if I truly wanted to be able to grasp the fabric of reality directly and learn how to shape it without unexpected consequences, I must first learn how to let the energy flow through me without it overloading me.

The energy suddenly turned up and I felt like I had just plugged my spinal cord into a light socket. Every experience became excruciatingly painful, all sensory input was maximal in intensity. It was beautiful, profound, overwhelming, and terrifying. I felt an increasing throbbing in my head and increasing intestinal pain, and my skin felt like it was being constantly shocked. I remembered then about the potential for serotonin syndrome from this particular combination (given the Prozac I was taking) and started to become truly afraid.

The entities returned. I got another empathic message, that if I expected to be Awakened Iíd have to risk my life to do it, and I realized that perhaps Iíd gotten myself into more than Iíd expected. Normally I do not have a great fear of death, but somehow I felt like the penalty for failure wouldnít be death per se, but something infinitely worse. Brain damage sprang to mind.

I decided at this point I was ready for the trip to stop. I couldnít take the amount of sensory input, my psyche was overloaded, and while I felt I had come to some very important point, I didnít think I was necessarily ready (or that the Prozac was a good mixer in this cocktail). I took a clonazepam, dreading the thought but nonetheless definitely ready to finish the trip even if it meant slamming into a wall. The entities told me that it wouldnít really help me anyway, that the duration of the test was unimportant, but by then Iíd already taken it.

The next hour or so (and it felt like twenty) was a constant struggle to keep full control of my mind and soul. I felt like I had to hold myself together by sheer force of will, and I came in contact with countless hidden parts of myself, little pieces of my character, soul, thoughts, and memories, that Iíd never faced before. And suddenly I had to hold them all together. I tried to make a very few simple changes to the overall pattern, strengthening my will in particular areas and perhaps hoping that out of this would come a new ability to shape my own behaviour, but I wasnít hoping for much.

Gradually I regained control and the trip ended. Like Iíd predicted, it was like slamming into a brick wall at lightspeed. My soul felt ripped out of my body and shoved into a hole, and the glorious energy and life drained out of me. Looking back on it I wish I hadnít taken the benzo, but I donít think I anyone was sober enough to be my spirit guide at that moment and I wasnít very coherent either. The rest of the night I struggled to stay awake, and began to get confused as a result of the benzo, but I managed to hold on to most of the bits and pieces. I still regret not having been able to stay with my friends, though, and I think Iíd have been better off to just drop acid and save the cocktail for some other time when I was ready.

Looking back on it all, I have found that, if nothing else, confronting death that directly has changed my outlook on life. Although it is not terribly powerful yet, I have a growing feeling that I can make changes in my life and in my behavior that will last. In some ways itís like a part of childhood is over.

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